The Spaceship To Zone X
                    (The surrealist Sci-Fi Thriller!)
             (Written at a SWIL meeting by SWIL non-members.)

   Zap!  Kapow!  The Spaceship Neurotic avoided the multi-colored,
multi-toned lasars from the pirate ship Paly!  The lasar's lack of
accuracy was probably more due to the fact that they were not ON than
the dodging of the pilot.  This does not change the fact that the blame
for veering off course is totally the Navigator's.  Having taken 16
"happy pills" at the executive meeting the previous month, he was still
quite happily hallucinating when the time came to enter hyperspace.
   When suddenly the captain came to their destination, Gerg!  What
with the hallucinations, the natives seemed to be surrounded with a
opaque aura!  The aura glowed green, and yet, somehow pink, proving the
dreaded fact that the Gergens were a race of preppy psychologists!
   "Heavens to googleplex, or perhaps to strptococcus!  If 'tis better
to object rather than to accept that which is or is not, may or may
not, howsoever inasmuch as could be, Ee gads!"
   Someone threw Martha into the well.  Hey daddle doodle, the cat and
the noodle, the pasta is very dry.  The little dog snored 'til the sun
went down and George put on Martha's new gown. (Did Goerge do it in the
parlor?)
   Telekinises, we're talking here.  Gowns drawn from kegs, packed in
fettuchini.  And George, is (s)he up for a sex change?  Who will lift
the biggleswitch if George cops out, eh?  We'lll all be deep-sixed in a
supernove if a little vigilance isn't exercised here?  Who's in charge?
   A little, balding man in a rumpled uniform spoke up.  "I....I am, I
guess," he stammered.  "Y'see, I've got this Hyperwave Multi-phasic
Ultra-Neutron Null-X Galactic brandy in my hip flask.  I think I'll
have some more ether wine instead.  Then, I'll don my extra pair of
ears and split some more chromosomes.  After, and only after, mind you,
I get my nucleotide high, then I'll consider conquering Asia.  After
all, after we merge with Fred Birch, who then could possibly resist?
Ah, power!"
   And she strongly suggested saving unicorns.  They have so few on the
arc, and while unicorns meditate the machines roll by.  Why did they
hurt the unicorns?  It's hard to hug a computer.  But maybe in your
fantasies did the unicorns win at chess. Somewhere, just out of sight,
the unicorns are gathering.  They don't like being hurt, and they don't
like computer games like Zork.
   Of course, unicorns aren't the only fantasy creatures that have
these problems.  Hippogriffs, dragons, and humans also have a hard time
accepting their role in computer society.  So we had to leave all of
them behind.  The computer felt a little guilty at such harsh results
and started spouting Sartre and commencing self-destruct.  We tried to
override the personality circuits but to no avail.  Just when all
seemed lost, I fell asleep.
   It was just a bad reality.