These are copies of most of the imfamous SMOS (Secret Master of SWILdom) messages which were mostly sent to Andy Perry (Substance) with occasional messages to Ed Bernstein (Flash) during the calender year 1990. They were sent in college mail envelopes which had names of various SWIL non-members crossed out right above Andy's name. The virtually idential messages were sent to the co-presidents at the same time, supposedly from each other (i.e. Andy's from Ed and Ed's from Andy). They were printed on an HP LaserJet II, which baffled the hell out of those trying to figure out what font was being used to print the messages. In January 1991, Jeff Hildebrand, newly-elected SWIL president, revealed that he was SMOS and was responsible for the messages. --------------------- It has come to my attention that the non-members have recently had concerns about the future and whether we have the proper leadership. Therefore I feel the time has come to inform you that this was never in question, no matter who was elected president, for I am in charge. The Secret Master of SWIL still looks over you and guides you as he/she (I'm not giving any hints) has always done. Fannishly yours, SMOS --------------------- It's time for: "The Return of the Rebirth of the Son of the Second Coming of the continuing saga of the SMOS, Part II, the Sequel, the Next Generation, the Unfinished Story." Unfortunately the title has taken all the available time. SMOS --------------------- Friends, We have made good progress infiltrating the campus, but we still have a long way to go. We have taken over ML, the small room in Sharples and the computing center staff, now we must look further. The time is ripe to expand. Let us not rest until we have worked our way into every corner. Do not rest until we can hold filk sings in the D.U. house and until Dave Fraser wears a SWIL shirt. And remember: shun the frumious bandersnatch. SMOS --------------------- There has been speculation as to my true identity. I'll give you a hint: I've vaguely human looking. SMOS --------------------- Ghu demands a tribute of lime jello within the next week or you will be beset by a plague of little fuzzy animals. Remember Argo. SMOS --------------------- The past few weeks have revealed a very distressing phenomenon. There is someone out there who has been sending messages claiming to be SMOS. This person is an imposter. I am the only one who is truly in control! RESISTANCE IS USELESS! (Sorry, my Vogon ancestry coming out.) I have reason to believe that the fiend who is trying to impersonate me is none other than the dreaded anti-SMOS who wishes to lead us to destruction. Any messages which are not in this format come from this evil villain. Head this warning and tread carefully, we enter a time of great peril. SMOS --------------------- Flash, I have reason to believe that Substance is really the anti-SMOS in disguise and is conspiring to take over full power. This bodes ill for you; although I am in complete control, I may not be able to protect you from any foul acts he may perpetrate against you. Be wary. SMOS --------------------- Substance, I have reason to believe that Flash is really the anti-SMOS in disguise and is conspiring to take over full power. This bodes ill for you; although I am in complete control, I may not be able to protect you from any foul acts he may perpetrate against you. Be wary. SMOS --------------------- In a time long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, two equal and opposite forces were born. The force of good that is SMOS and the force of evil that is anti-SMOS. For eons we have battled across galaxies and nebulas (and Hugos too). Now the battle is commenced once more. The time may soon be at hand when in the course of this struggle I will be forced to reveal myself. You have been warned. SMOS --------------------- Last spring you were warned that Ghu demanded trubute of lime jello. So far you have ignored this warning. Unless this sacrifice is made soon, the threatened plague of little fuzzy animals will decend. SMOS --------------------- Why do you continue this ridiculous charade? Yet another election to see who is supposedly going to be in control. You just don't learn do you. I am in control, nothing can stop me adfjhglfhd hey hdfadgh what's ietycxzd going uptqdj on fhlahf? Er, almost nothing. So go ahead, elect the goat for all I care. It won't make a bit of difference. SMOS