From chaos @ cs.swarthmore.edu Wed Jul 28 20:22:49 1999 -0400 Date: Wed, 28 Jul 1999 20:22:49 -0400 (EDT) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ cc Subject: The Summer of SWILNews #14 Well, we have good news and bad news. The good news is that Cloak is spending the summer in northern Utah and is bored out of her mind, so you finally get SWILNews. The bad news is that Dagger is not in northern Utah, so her ability to provide insightful commentary is severely restricted. (actually, it has nothing to do with not being in northern Utah; it's called "no home internet connection and 15-minute computers at the library" -d) Even worse, Cloak has decided (by unanimous vote of herself, her laptop, and the excellent literary work "numerical recipes in c: second edition") that it's Dagger's responsibility to come up with a clever theme, so you don't get one of those either. You do get senior remembrances, though. And they're long. SWILBusiness: Amazingly enough, much of this is still relevant... BEM got published. If you didn't get a BEM, we probably have spare copies, so get yours in the fall. Yay BEM! Submit to BEM! If you still have books out from Cordwainer, please return them. If you've graduated and find Cordwainer books when you unpack, please bring them back or mail them to Hannah. T-shirts are here. Or rather, there. If you are Sonia, Rebecca Paul, Anna, Melissa Binde, or Amy, you need to pay Cloak $6.30 in the fall. If you are any one of those people except Sonia, you will be eligible to receive a shirt at that time. We have a tentative schedule of events to happen early next semester: - The Ren Faire trip will be Saturday, 18 September. - The SWIL keg party will be Friday, 24 September. Planning for this great event is taking place right now. If you want to help plan, e-mail Cloak (chaos @ cs) or Amy (aswift @ sccs). - The Pterodactyl Hunt will be Friday, 1 October (aka "before it gets too cold"), with rain dates to be determined. Hunt wizards are Dagger, Robert, and Amy'. Several proposals for speaker events for next year were discussed over e-mail, but the potential organizers of those events have vanished into the haze. If you are one of those people, please come back. We miss you. (and we want the fog machine back... -c) At any rate, anyone interested in organizing a speaker event for next year should e-mail the presidents. Also, the current SWIL minimum standard of sentience graduated, so we need a new one. Any volunteers? Non-SWILBusiness: Needless to say, this stuff is all outdated. But SWAPA is still being collated on a monthly basis, Phantom Menace tickets are still on sale, and, if you're in the Swarthmore area this summer, you should be subscribed to fun @ swil.org to find out about cool happenings on or near campus. Senior Remembrances: Senior remembrances went on a long time this year, and your faithful copresident Cloak had to leave early to take a game theory final, so any complaints about the faithfulness of this transcription may be directed towards the registrar's office. Anyway, yay seniors! Good luck in the future, and we hope your e-mail accounts haven't been deleted yet so you can actually read this. Alastair Thompson: - brought into the small room to eat with the dinner table by being carried on a chair - more sentient than a tape recorder - "shall i put the kettle on?" - SWIL miniprop - the french whore dress - dyed his hair green (Fred Bush '98's initial comment: "Alastair, you're photosynthesizing!") - tripping Jennifer Tyson '01 in dance class - tickle fights - the night of vodka, cranberry juice, and abba - Alastair's drunk moods - played a hick in "The Lady's not for Burning" - frosh year roommate was Jonathan Elliott Reed (who had three cell phones) - Will Quale wearing Alastair's lipstick at Lindsay Herron '00's luau - citrus! - "manly" at ren faire Ben Williams: - drove a double saturday night shuttle shift frosh year (including the night of the ML halloween party) - mixed drinks and soap operas in ML lounge - in Catherine Osborne's intro theatre class - looking like death's evil henchmen with frosh year roommate Snibor Eoj '98 - woke up early (by noon) to participate in Atlanta swil coup - played magic all night frosh year (then sold his magic deck and bought a car) - decided to take a year off to do a radio show in Guam, but actually wound up in Australia and Fiji - Ben and his younger brother dressed up for genderfuck - broadcast name: 98% funky stuff - co-founder of two-fisted features - ran D&D campaigns till 5am - tried to make crank - played muds all night - purple jesus (grape juice, ginger ale, everclear, vodka) - current SWIL minimum standard of sentience - goblin king in the 'dactyl hunt - variation between long hair and shaved head Will Quale: - is descended from three sons of Charlemagne - drove from ML to Sharples making only right turns - Star Wars robot costume - arranged Abbot's Bromley for SWILoween - attended Andrea Hall '95's hen party in drag with Jim Macleod '96 and Erik Rosolowsky '98 - Skogul of Hlokk, Goll, and Skogul - april fool's arboretum sign prank - random exhausted scottish guy at Romeo and Juliet - morris dancing - stayed up all night to buy legos - went to Germany for a summer to buy games - playing games "somewhat incorrectly" because of rules translation issues - lived with Megan Hallam and Andrea in Swarthmore Apartments - steak and milk - co-organized the first SWILCon - driver in the "200-mile" trip to Boston; got stopped by police on the way there - drives from D.C. to Philly in 1.5 hours Jess Harbour: - sent her friends a news story about destroying her parents' volvo - ever-changing hair - proved her sentience by humiliation - why men are scum - arranged Sarah Bergstrom's frosh year screw date - part of the Atlanta contingent and the southern belle contingent - drove through four feet of water with Megan Hallam - won siedler the first time she played - stole an ugly wicker chair - SWIL cheerleader Megan Hallam: - followers rode through solid rock (20,20,18,19,20) - Kyla Tornheim '01 spending nights in Megan's room - Megegan - Buffy fanatic - dioramas from Fred Bush's frosh year D&D campaign - very talkative - Morgan Baker, who recognized her voice - part of a capella group Three Weeks Old - co-organized SWILCon II - Larry Miller naked in her blanket Alice Unger: - lodge 6 SWIL scene - painting fingernails with Charles Danforth '95 - boots - piercings - shrine to "the crow" - frosh year roommate Tara Zahra - proved her sentience by being a holographic projection of her alice in wonderland doll - Erik and Alice and their swords - dominatrix at SWILoween - swil dance party - wraith at the 'dactyl hunt - vampire/shadow with Jess - Alice's harem at frosh year SWILoween - EASU (Erik/Alice Symbiotic Unit) - ran for president with Todd West '97 - Michaelangelo's David and "this old freedom train" Ethan Friedman: - Ethan Joe-spec - "You know she's in SWIL and you're not *doing* anything about it!" Greg Ingber: - goal is not to smile - mediated between Snibor Eoj '98 and a very large guy at Puckers - co-host of Circling the Square - theatre stuff - scared his frosh year roommate away by screaming - guns Audrey Walton-Hadlock (West): - getting embarassed at bridal shower - the bright red bow - came to Swat at 16 and graduated in 3.5 years Larry: - convinced everyone he was the guardian angel in mafia - riding a gargoyle through the wall in D&D campaign - ran for president and ran a smear campaign against the goat - weekly Tick fix - Larry's paisley jacket - token dictator - Larry's teddy bear was sentient - Viking invasion Dave Mimno: - the brontosaurus imitation - became treasurer frosh year by losing a fight to Dave Phillips - called Catherine Osborne a "nexus of unrequited love" - wound up rooming with Wendy Lawrence frosh year to avoid sexile when their roommates started dating - "hopefully not the one with brown hair" - goes to lots of movies - wore a burnoose at Star Wars trilogy showing - debate - stole a shopping cart from Beejays Dave Phillips: - knives and water guns - the Blade costume - "Alastair's... not... straight?" - rescued Sarah Bergstrom from foam-sword-wielding guys in the small room for a screw date - building easels for SWILCon - brought a bottle of Jack Daniels to E90 final presentations - paid Megan back for a cloak she made him by taking her out to dinner - made a corkscrew sing "Evita" - Lindsay Herron '00's first contact with SWIL - Atlanta Ren Faire with Megan: swords, baldrics, hats John Finkbiner: - elected king of SWIL - self-proclaimed symbol of male potency - children's book fanatic - met Megan at first year community service project - disappeared from Swat to live in Philly for awhile - "i'm going to hide" in D&D campaign - was awake the morning after staying up to watch the Star Wars trilogy the attendance list of the remembrance - 8 May: Phil "El Gato" Stepleton Alice "Submit to Me!" Unger Megan "Ooh, ooh! Me first!!" Hallam Rebecca "I forget" Paul Amy' "Glekta meer singa plai! Caroopta!" Marinello (my word. what are they teaching the frosh these days? -c) Sonia "Grape nuts! My love, my life...where art thou? No wonder my head hurts" Marinello Hannah "braincramps" Schneider Jim "I prefer to think of it as Waffle Sufficiently Advanced Technology" Moskowitz Will "Here on the inside, the outside's so far away" Quale Andrea "On a crime ship dept. 11" Hall Josh "Thierry Boy de la Tour" Burdick Melissa "Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme, chamomile, basil, hyssop, fennel, artennisia, chervil, savory, coriander, peppers, oregano, probably a few things i forgot..." Running out of time to plant seeds, buying plants instead (the presidents used to just write the initials of meeting attendees in swilnews. i think there may have been a good reason. -c) Lindsay "Planning to live happily ever after. (And so can you! Just pay me the low-low price of $19.95. That's right: $19.95! Cash only.)" Herron (how about $2 and you type? -c) Anna "boxes, boxes, everywhere!" Hess Megan "very sentient recaps" Hamilton "I wish I could think of something especially clever" Powell "because now I've got all this space" Miller Larry "sitting next to yummy tortellini" Miller Dave "special guest appearance" Mimno Jessica "is there life after that one special encounter with the dolphins?" Harbour Catherine "olive oil" Osborne Abigail "Nee hepta kray oopta fleff! " Friedman (don't look at me. i'm just the monkey with the typewriter. -c) Alastair "Citrus" Thompson Alecia "back yet again..." Magnifico Dan "I turned my life around. I used to be stressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and stressed!" Blim Amy "biophysical!!" Swift Arcadia "literary allusion" Falcone John "a symbol of male potency" Finkbiner Robert "Almost left off the list" McFarland -Cloak and Dagger