From chaos @ cs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 20:55:26 1999 Date: Thu, 18 Feb 1999 15:23:46 -0500 (EST) From: Chaos Golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ cc Subject: This is only a test of SWILNews #4 Just think of this as something like Quaker Matchbox. Only without the match bit. Or the box, for that matter... But if you fill it out and return it, we'll send you a list of the 20 most bored people on the SWIL mailing list... SWIL-Business: 1(a). SWILCon '99 is: a. a deterministic set of sentients dedicated to cold cereal b. SWIL's quasi-annual science fiction convention c. a vicious attempt to swindle the blue signs from the arboretum. (b). The guests of honor at SWILCon, which will take place 26-27 March, will be: a. tupperware, cockroaches, and a thermonuclear missile b. Gardner Dozois, Susan Casper, Greg Frost, and Judith Burman c. some shrubbery and your diff eq problem set 2. Why are Jim and Dave trying to get their palm pilots to mate? a. We don't want to know. b. Really, we don't. c. I'm leaving now. 3. Which of the following t-shirt slogans and designs is it okay to submit to Sonia, since it hasn't already been done? a. SWIL: it's not just for breakfast any more b. SWIL: more fun than potato farming c. In the SWIL of the night... 4. If you do not submit poetry, prose or artwork to BEM by 22 February, does Heather know where you live? a. No. b. Yes. c. Does she know what i did with my keys? 5. When are we discussing what new books to buy for Cordwainer? a. five minutes ago. b. At Saturday's meeting - come with suggestions of things you would like to see there. c. Fish. 6. What are we doing for Spamageddon this year? a. Freezing the Spam in liquid nitrogen for longer than 10 minutes, then shooting it out of the potato cannon. b. Leaving Spam exposed to the elements for a month and recording its progress with a SpamCam. c. Conducting the Spammish Inquisition. d. All of the above were actually suggested - come to meeting and vote for your favourite, or come up with something else. 7. Where is the SWIL 20th reunion tray now? a. all of the above. b. In George, having been retrieved by Ben and Rebecca. c. Serving a 20-to-life prison sentence for involuntary manslaughter by falling. 8. What happened at the St. Valentine's Day massacre? a. The thugtrons never showed up after their traitorous mole poisoned their tortellini. b. A good time was had by all, possibly even including the people who died - we didn't ask. c. It rained. Non-SWILBusiness: 9. What is Bite Night? a. The night when SWILlies give up on potato bar and turn on the middle room. b. A vampire movie festival hosted by sick, sick people (now, now, now -d), which will feature "Blade," "Lost Boys," and John Carpenter's "Vampires", starting at 7 in Kohlberg 116. c. A misspelling of Byte Night, the CS department kegger. 10. What else is happening Friday night? a. We're taking over the universe. Show up to claim your free solar system. b. Roundsinging with John Krumm at 7. Watch the fun list for details. c. Do you want to buy a duck? 11. Why should you join SWAPA, which is being collated after meeting on Saturday? a. because the voices in your head are getting tired of Newsweek. b. because it's a cool way to meet alums, keep in touch with current students, and find out what SWILfolk are doing. Plus, it's an excuse to talk a lot. c. because when the going gets tough, the tough get attacked by ladybugs. 12. When will Megan be showing Buffy next Tuesday? a. Every hour, on the hour. b. At either 8pm or 10pm, plus 12:30. E-mail her if you plan to come regularly and have a preference for one of the earlier showing times. c. 6:03am. 13. who signed the list of a, j, and the tardy co-president? a. benJAmin newmAn b. Jessica "Canton, Foochow, Amoy, Ningpo, Shanghai... ARRGH!" Harbour (we apologize for any misspellings, but the handwriting-eye software is buggy. -d) (always blame the software. -c) c. Lindsay "It's all a conspiracy to create alien-human hybrids that can withstand the coming viral apocalypse" Herron d. Peter "No, I (the prince) is more fearful than the viral apocalypse." (i can vouch for that. -c) e. Arcadia "wearing both grey _and_ black" Falcone f. Catherine "feeling French" Osborne g. Megan "4 days, and counting..." Hallam h. Joe "I'm a Real Person^TM now." Robins i. Joel "I'm a Real Person^TM now." McNary j. Larry "Mercury Star Power, MAKE UP!!" Miller k. Ben "almost matching socks" Williams, the two-toned marauder. l. Amy "dangit - forgot the dill!" Swift m. Jimmy Javier "I wanna be a Real Person^TM now also" Jiang n. Abigail "Jimmy's a Phony Person^TM. nyaa nyaa nyaa nyaa poo-poo." Friedman o. Dave "Blow it up! Blow it up!" Phillips p. Jim "part of the blue spectrum" Moskowitz q. Katie "wow, I have my own slogan" Saltanovitz r. Amy "I start with two (or three) A's, one C, one D, and one (or zero) D's" Marinello s. Joanna "I have to make up a slogan???" Brown t. Robert "withdrawing my proposal to Amy" McFarland u. RebeccA "my name starts with A J" Jones v. Anna "I'm going to vaccuum the needles of my floor! Hooray!" Hess w. Jennifer "after the ball " Tyson x. Heather "it's all about feet" Weidner y. Jay "Chief High Noun and Thing of Things" Scott z. Phil "Mister Lichtenstein" Stepleton i. Joel "I am still here" McNary h. Snibor "Deil I. KO." Eoj -Cloak and Dagger