From chaos @ condor.sccs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 19:34:20 1999 Date: Mon, 11 May 1998 17:29:02 -0400 (EDT) From: chaos golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu Subject: The SWILNews that Took Longer than the Meeting, or SWILNews #14 If we were acting in accordance with the theory that art should imitate life, we would begin this SWILNews the way the meeting began, with half an hour of mumbling, panicking, scrambling for change, and a suitcase full of t-shirts. But we'll spare you all that, and go directly to SWILBusiness. You'll thank us for it later. (This is absolutely intolerable! -s) SWILBusiness: Remember to return any books you've borrowed from Birdwainer and George before you leave - especially if you're graduating. We know where you live. (or, at least, we can ask the alumni office for your "current mailing address", and you wouldn't lie to the alumni office, would you? -h) The movies for next semester (in alphabetical order by second letter of the first word, with first letter of the second word referenced in case of ties) are: Gattaca Labyrinth Last Unicorn They Live Wizards Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Misfits of Science Akira Flash Gordon Flight of the Navigator Clockwork Orange Totoro Space Camp The Craft Event Horizon The alternates are: Last Action Hero Masters of the Universe Ice Pirates Frosh need to be stuffed next fall. We would like to stuff the frosh during disorientation, so if you're going to be back early, get in touch with Hlokk and volunteer to help stuff. BEM is still available. Get your BEM from Heather. If you can't find Heather, e-mail bem @ swil.org. T-shirts are also available. If you ordered a t-shirt, you got e-mail from Hlokk about it. If you didn't get e-mail from Hlokk, but still want a t-shirt, contact her at chaos @ sccs. SWIL's twentieth reunion will be the weekend of 6-8 November, 1998. More details will happen later, but it will be a good chance to slack off on work and meet some nifty alums. If you want to be on the planning committee, contact JimMosk. Tonight's movie is Barbarella. You should be there. Chaos will be there with a suitcase full of t-shirts. (But Barbarella won't be wearing a t-shirt -s) Next fall's RenFaire trip has been tentatively scheduled for 19 September. Note that this is tentative, so if your personal universe has just been demolished by this proposition, we may be able to fix it, but let us know now. Note: contacting us will do you no good if your personal universe is actually suffering from to final papers and you're just trying to blame us so you have an excuse to play another game of Settlers. (but we are up for Settlers. -H) Alright already. You want senior remembrances? We'll give you senior remembrances. We had close to two hours worth this year, and here they all are (except the ones we were too lazy to write down) for your reading pleasure. If these stories are from before or after your time, and if you didn't come to meeting, most of them will probably sound like obscure references to other people's Swat careers. They are. This is where we would say something witty and touching about how much the graduating seniors have contributed to SWIL and how much we'll miss them, but Skogul is playing guitar in the background, so we can't concentrate, and you'll just have to imagine it. Emily Salzfass: - may not have actually been dismembered, but is leaving Swat to go write for Star Trek, so we thought we'd mention her. - plus, she ordered a t-shirt. Kim Gallup: - announcing at a wink game, "guess what body part i just got pierced?" - proved her sentience by standing on a table singing "I'm a Little Teapot" - agreed to be dismembered if Melissa Binde danced at the SWIL dance party - cigarette in one hand and snake-whacking stick in the other hand - got Catherine Osborne on a llama mailing list - went on the guilt trip in ML lounge - the first person Dan Eisenbud met on campus Neil Epstein: - got dismembered after attending three meetings which occurred within five minutes of each other - knitting during algebra class - consecutive somersaults - correcting Janet Talvacchia during class Steph Dyrkacz - Fraternite (1996): - avid player of "Do you want to buy a duck" and the cup game - singing duets with Chris Mazingo in parlours - filking with her guitar - sheep - attended the fronds (Franz) puzzle session - shrine to Gettysburg - part of the a cappella group "three weeks old" - jingle cats - oracle in the Pterodactyl Hunt when someone sacrificed his best friend to her Dan Eisenbud: - his and Fred Bush's sophomore year room in Dana was pranked with shrink wrap and 1200 balloons at the beginning of the year ("oh, look - a ballloon!") - had a theme song (Mission: Impossible) during the transfer from raptor to condor - the purple joke - "attended" an 8:30 linguistics class with Fred spring of sophomore year - was scrod with Mary McMenomy, and had to find each other by integrating/ differentiating an equation Elizabeth Weber: - the phone in Australia that knew her birthday - lived in Willets frosh year - lived down the street from Scott Price as a child - rollerbladed through the small room in Sharples Sarah Piatt: - sitting with Joel in one place talking for several hours - "speaking of cockroaches in love, here come Joel and Sarah" - Sam Weiler upending a couch she was sitting on - every time she walks into Sharples, a cup falls - meow! - stuffed animals - was the oracle frosh year - cooking: stuffed cabbage rolls - (saperlipoppette! -s) Joel McNary: - "Joel, you're repeating yourself" - jelly beans - referring to himself in the third person - hawaiian shirt - stood on a chair in Sharples and shouted "I am a giant chicken!" - dumped a bowl of ice cream on his head frosh year - scared off his freshman year roommate (Gil Barretto) within three weeks - banana peels - "hex, Joel, hex" - magic shows - did not live in Dana 301 his freshman year - "can't... do... paisley" - played Farb, the canvas-toting ranger, in frosh year D&D campaign - had to be physically dragged to get his cc password in November of his frosh year - pranked the computer of someone with a world-writable hard drive - "dublin bay" - mint chocolate chip ice cream - drank a bottle of Jolt sophomore year and fell asleep immediately - stayed up "late" until 9:30pm - cut off the bottoms of salt & pepper shakers to replace them with chili powder and sugar - is ticklish on the top of Melissa Binde's head, and vice versa - he and Snibor Eoj had lakefront property in ML basement after a flood sophomore year - reenacting Star Wars with vorpal swords - the pumpkin - the erotica panel at Philcon frosh year - sleeping in a chair at that Philcon Erik Rosolowsky - Abort (1997): - one-shot D&D campaign: "Well, i'll tell you what... I'll let you guys live..." - EASU (Erik/Alice Symbiotic Unit) - "One Minute Man" at Puckers - the Erik maneuver: fall down, then hit the puck - work ethic (won a prestigious national scholarship or some such thing) - took three physics seminars in one semester - twice - "Have a dihedral group, leave a dihedral group. Need a dihedral group, take a dihedral group" - Erik and Alice Unger and their big swords - lived with Adrian Tay frosh year - lived in a lodge sophomore year - crashing the hen party in drag with Jim MacLeod - big G/little G - the game - also part of "three weeks old" ("Boom!") Snibor Eoj - Liberte (1996), Retry (1997): - the frozen chicken incident - feuding fire mages with Sam Weiler during Erik's one-shot campaign - the magic double frosh year with Ben Williams - the cosmic double sophomore year with Joel McNary - putting things on the fire escape - the smurfing of his room - the pineapple - drew from the deck of many things during Erik's senior campaign and ended up in the void - kept trico.talk alive, with the help of several Mawrters - having backwards broadcast conversations with Katie McCarthy - gave Catherine Osborne a rubber chicken, handcuffs, and whipped cream for her birthday - helped prepare his own surprise birthday party frosh year - was bound, gagged and thrown into the trunk of Jim MacLeod's car for his birthday sophomore year - the only eight-semester shuttle driver in the class of '98 - the jacket - buying Tarble out of cookies on a weekly basis - considered himself "dressed up" when not in jeans - the "bright, red bow" comment - crumwalking with Erik, Alice and Fred after SWILoween frosh year - the Halloween costume Death theme - "Who is Joe Robins?" propping campaign - Puckers, "hit it up to the front and maybe Joe will get it." - Zardoz - Darkwing Duck secret spy binoculars - running for SWIL presidency frosh year with Fred Bush - ping pong in the big room - paper napkin throwing - putting silverware in the wall of the small room - with Joel McNary, moved all the tables and chairs from Sharples Room 4 to the small room for a picnic at SWIL meeting Melissa Binde - Ignore (1997): - the sink orca - problem/solution correlation - had an invisible Peruvian lover named Andre - lived in the Parrish closet frosh year - men she dated tending to spill things on her keyboard - Sam Weiler once bought her flowers, then got mad at her and ate them - current Swarthmore students' link to low Josh Smith numbers - going off with the dragon riders during Fred Bush's frosh year D&D campaign - was part of the group of specs who built a bonfire in the crum - god @ cs - goddess of the Pterodactyl Hunt - keeper of the filk pages - wrote "Banned from Sharples" with Steph Dyrkacz, Joel McNary, and Sarah Piatt - group broadcast conversations frosh year - pranked Sixteen Feet - avid player of Egyptian Rat Screw and Fantan - sysadmin - puckers; part of the group that played 5 vs. 11 and the goalie and won - took Theatre 1 with Erik Rosolowsky, Alice Unger and Tim Bragg - had many people over for Thanksgiving various years - "Mmm, fresh meat", upon walking into the SWIL room and meeting Kira Goetschius for the first time - various family relations between her, Steph, Sarah and Joel - balloon volleyball in the small room - on the camera end of Snibor Eoj's fear of being photographed - carrying Alastair Thompson on his chair into the small room; "Wouldn't it be easier if he walked?" - grape nuts in sprite - "Do you know that Jello emits heat when you sprinkle pepper on it?" - ice cube fights - going to get "tea" - the bowl of orange jello - always had a glass of water at dinner, and wasn't afraid to use it - helped reincarnate the dinner table - drew the 1996-97 SWIL shirt - switched jobs during a 3-month summer internship - "took" Russian frosh year - doesn't believe in French or Physics - wrote a SWILNews as "the phantom cockroach" while not president - tupperware, cockroaches, and thermonuclear missile - was thrown a surprise 21st birthday party after the St. Valentine's Day Massacre Fred Bush - Egalite (1996): - "It's Fred, it's Fred. He's big, he's white, he's... white" - "You mean, sleep in a woman's room!?" - Catholic school boy - How far is Boston from Philadelphia? - living on Jolt and Cheez-its - caffeine pills - hosted the end of the world party for two years - had a slight misunderstanding about the size of ponds in his frosh year D&D campaign - Snibor Eoj and Erik Rosolowsky attempted to abduct him for puckers - agreed to go to Puckers if Eoj went to folk dance - it never happened - was appointed "night editor" of the Phoenix - had a College Bowl packet written about him for his 21st birthday - questionable taste in movies - gaming - magic league - on Heather Weidner's 18th birthday, "So, do you want to celebrate?" - WSRN connection: Botticelli and Circling the Square - the SWIL connection to the Swarthmore information network - did a woman impersonator demonstration - thought up the driving of snakes out of Swarthmore for St. Patrick's Day - went to SWILoween freshman year as "campus" Homicidal Senior List - 9/5: Dan "alpha and omega" Eisenbud Jennifer "I have a bean frog named Boublil" Tyson Hannah "I hate Baxandal" Schneider Ben "chow mein? for breakfast?" Newman Jimmy "Ice cream for breakfast!" Kong Heather "Hell hath no fury" Weidner Sarah "Honors Exams are fun! (Really!)" Piatt Joel "" McNary Erik W. Rosolowsky a.k.a. the One Minute Man Snibor "Ti tsniaga dediced I tub, reve tsil ecnadnetta tsal ym rof sdrawrof gningis deredisnoc I" Eoj Anna "It's raining!" Hess Melissa "Not honors... heh heh heh... Last meeting... sniffle." Binde Fred "unbearable whiteness of being" Bush Amy "I'm here again" Swift Sarah "yawn" Bergstrom Dave "I am #1, who is #6?" Phillips Andrea "Meow" Hall Elizabeth "Metrics and Labor Econ and stats! Oh my!" Weber Catherine "we have a lighting designer!" Osborne Kyla "I think I've got my brain back...but can I use it?" Tornheim Jim "Remembering is the opposite of dismembering" Scott "...oh...my...god..." Price Alastair "somebody pass the synesthesia" Thompson in absentia: Otavia "Hi y'all, and there aren't _that_ many sheep here-- they're mostly all in Wales. In fact, 1 out of 8 European sheep are Welsh." Propper -Hlokk, Goll, and Skogul