From chaos @ condor.sccs.swarthmore.edu Sat Jul 17 19:33:27 1999 Date: Mon, 13 Apr 1998 16:33:27 -0400 (EDT) From: chaos golubitsky To: _swat.org.swil @ swarthmore.edu Subject: The Adventures of Skogul and Hlokk's Grepping Lamp, or SWILNews #10 As is usually the case with these things, Skogul had, of course, never met, or interacted in any way, with Hlokk's grepping lamp. But Hlokk's grepping lamp was broken, Skogul wasn't at the SWILNews-writing session, and there were two English majors on the floor singing themes from "Casablanca". And, well, there was the lamp, and there wasn't Skogul, so what choice was there? So, Skogul stared at the lamp for awhile. Then Skogul attempted to fix the lamp. "Yup, it's broken," he finally announced. Then Skogul left. SWILBusiness: 1. Don't rent van 16a from student council. The steering is bad. Plus, the interior lights are broken. (kind of like the lamp. -S) Thor did not rent van 16a from student council. We thought you'd like to know. 2. Schlock was decided upon this week. Our schlock movies will be "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies", "The Maze" (a 3-D movie!), and "Yor: The Hunter from the Future". If there are budget problems getting all three movies and 3-D glasses, we'll let you know. Buffy might come to schlock. With Thor. They're sort of an item these days (bet you didn't see that coming -H), but it's not really official yet. (not that anyone is fooled -H) Synopsi of schlock movies: The Incredibly Strange... - cash flagg (aka ray steckler) plays a freeloader who visits an eerie sideshow. heUs hypnotized and turns into a murdering zombie. hidden away in cages are other TzombieU hypnosis victims who escape at the filmUs climax. this is the film that made ray a cult star. The Maze - weird sets specifically designed for 3-d effect. a completely unexpected climax involving teratology highlights this lovecraftian tale of a scottish castle with a curse. Yor - heroic, fast and funny adventure about a misplaced barbarian warrior who searches for his true identity in a violent, fierce and primitive world, only to discover he is the child of a super-advanced scientific world. Ed Wood did lots of monster porn.. It was boring. (kind of like the lamp. -S) (the lamp was pornographic? i don't want to know. -H) 3. T-shirts: Hlokk will talk to the t-shirt guy tomorrow, and find out how much t-shirts will cost, and how much they'd cost from Ampro. She'll let you know, and take orders next week. Ratatosk thinks we should just emblazon his picture across the front and call it good enough. We said no. 4. We hope you submitted to BEM. Today is the absolute final deadline, unless you want to talk to Heather. Trust us, you don't want to talk to Heather. So it's too late. The two English majors are annoyed. 5. Jim isn't here, Melissa isn't here, Anna, the non-figurehead, isn't here. Should we stage Faust? We don't know, but Joell and Eoj are planning to stage the Star Wars Trilogy with Lego people. Contact them if you're interested. Fred made parallels between Faust and Buffy. We were frightened. (Note: this section is actually about Walpurgisnacht. Can't you tell? -G) 6. Bring suggestions for next year's movies next week, or e-mail them to kira, chaos, and will (@sccs). Note: don't e-mail them to presidents @ swil.org, because that still has the old presidents on it, and Erik is beginning to get annoyed. (kind of like the lamp. -S) Anyway, we're making a list of movies next week, and the week after that, we'll vote on them, so you should all come to both of those meetings. The sponges will be there, and you don't want their opinions to count more than yours. (The sponges are voting with me. -G) (And now, after these words from your delusional president... -H) 7. The SPAM pinata will happen on Cinco de Mayo. Jimmy will find a location and let us know. Yay Jimmy! The can of spam is going on vacation. (kind of like the lamp. -S) 8. There was an underattended SWILCon meeting. We'll send out the minutes over e-mail, along with some suggestions for next year's con. There will be another meeting sometime soon after that. (Everyone should show up. I mean it. Don't make me come out of the computer and hurt you. -Gustav) 9. SWIL movie. Tenchi Muyo. Tonight. 10:00. Kirby Lecture Hall. Non-SWILBusiness: 1. Dave channelled Joe who channelled Jim to tell us that B5 will happen on tonight at 7:30. Then Skogul, who had actually seen the episode, said it was good. 2. Listen to Boticelli on Sunday. We know you missed it this week, but it will happen next week. And also next year. 3. Fred suggested that we hold Shirley Jackson's lottery at housing lottery. Hlokk wants everyone to know that, of all the 1400 Swarthmore students in this area code, she is the *only* one whose lottery number is the same as her area code. She is very proud of herself. 4. Wink may happen next weekend. Jack and Terry will demonstrate the pas de basque of death. Really. 5. We need to place an order to Sinister Cinema to get "The Incredibly Strange Creatures..." If you want to order a movie from them, get in touch with Hlokk, who has the catalogues. The Happy Fun List - 4/11: Amy "what's up with the weather" Swift Fred "I'm back... the end is near!" Bush Ben "matzah matzah" Newman Jimmy "-(Bill me now) = Check you later" Kong Greg "Fuh Q" Ingber Dave "Ham & cheze ... on matzah" Phillips Kyla "weird quote overheard at a seder: 'I wanna see the frog!' - don't ask me" Tornheim -Hlokk, Goll, Skogul