Date: Sun, 8 May 1994 22:27:46 -0400 Subject: spam, spam, spam, SWILnews the 13th and spam -painful! This SWILnews is brought to you by the letters s, p, a, and m and by the number 0 as in "Oh no, it's SPAMMAGEDDON!!!! "excuse me, you'll have to move, there's going to be spam falling out of that window and we aren't quite sure of the blast radius" Reading week began with not a bang, but sort of a skidding bounce at the 1st Annual Spam Drop, or, Spammageddon. Due to a distinct shortage of liquid nitrogen, the dipped spam was frosty yet surprisingly tensile and even a smaller slice detonated about as well as a thick, pink hockey puck and smelled worse upon impact. Unfrozen spam was similarly tested (ie-hurled out of a Parrish 3rd classroom while the Spam song played on infinite repeat on someone's stereo, probably Kathy's) and performed about the same. We did however draw quite a crowd and this bodes well for next year when we have better resources. The third can of Spam was not hurled out the window but graciously given over to the McCabe lost and found drawer by Justin Giacoletti. Plans were afoot to place it on reserve for next year. But what would the fine be? Much thanks to Charles, Robert and company for figuratively getting this event off the ground, Andrea and Beth Bruch for making signs and Blue for quite literally getting the spam off the ground. Spamwiches for all. The Schlock film fest occurred as scheduled, and boy howdy, was it a GOOD time! Three fine, and rather expensive films were watched and appreciated by all. OK, almost all. I didn't get to the first one, Fire Maidens From Outer Space, but from what I heard it was almost as exciting as watching paint dry. Still, if there has to be a definition of schlock, this movie was probably it. Moving on, to Bigger, Darker, and Hairier things, we then were privaleged to witness Earth Versus the Spider. Now THIS was a movie! Big spider shadow terrorizes people in cave while the director's cute tarantula watched. Then, just when you thought all was safe (that DDT must have killed it, thus ending the movie) look out, the beast is on the loose again! Just goes to show you what horrors bad fifties rock can unleash on an unsuspecting community. One thing worth mentioning was the interesting spatial phenomenon that allowed the spider to change size from as small as a rather large horse to as big as Shea Stadium, Kudos to those special effects people! Finally, as if those two weren't enough, we enjoyed The Day The World Ended. OK, this one was deep, I mean it. [and he's one of those damn philosophy types, he knows what he's talking about. Also rather good at finding wells. Speaking of wells, Dan's back, but I digress... -L] It really had something to say about the human condition. Especially the human condition when you suck down several hundred rads and develop a glowing crustacean on your cheek. Safe to say, some were confused, but for those who could appreciate this cynical view of the darker side of three eyed, rabid, rubber suits, it was truly a treat to be savored! Beth Bruch was back for a visit and signed over the SWIL fund to Elizabeth Christian so that we could temporarily pay for T-shirts until the money gets in from everyone to replenish it. Reunion shirts have started to be distributed and '94 shirts should get here soon. Besh has agreed to handle long distance orders over the summer, further mail on that to follow. Jere7my has announced that he will _not_ be donating half of his summer earnings to the SWIL fund. [or to buying more spam -L] darn. Several SWILfolk showed up in Sharples 3 on Saturday night for Walpurgisnacht and many stories were read, perhaps even to the mellifluous noises of snacks [which did not contain spam -L] being consumed. Selections included _The Jungle Book_ and _Winnie the Pooh_ Thanks to Andrea for organizing it. Mark Kernighan and Sophia Sarafova were supposed to be dismembered this week but the evil plotters that are putting us up to it weren't here so we're waiting until next week. hee hee. Non-SWIL business included Jimmosk's announcement of Storyreading on Monday the 9th at Borders from 7:30pm until about 10. Director's night of scenes went up that weekend as well. An ear-blasting cacophany was heard from the belltower following the Spring Jamboree which prepared a large contingentof the campus for primal scream more than adequately. [either by participating or having the questionable luck of being in the vicinity for the second rendition of Stand by Me sung in the key of one's choice :) -L] Good luck on finals, everyone. ATTENDANCE 4-30-94 Colin "Leave my hair alone! I'm not your toy!" Schatz, Beth"Why didn't you say so earlier?" Bruch, Jeremy "Mute, moot and mote" Dilatush, Michael "Of course you're my toy, you Garfunkel-lookin', afro-sportin'mug" Brus [sorry Michael, but I don't think that 'mug' description holds water -L] Geoff "Spam, spam, spam, steam tunnels and spam" Noer [Geoffery, Geoffery Noer, heir to the throne of Spam! -L] Josh "scrambled omlette" Burdick, Beth "hmm" Bruch, Robert "Spam warden, armed and dangerous" Richardson, Elizabeth "Isn't Michael adorable?" Christian, Julianna "Ran into Besh while I was trying to duck out" Patrick, Larry "I'm a festive holiday treat" Miller, Peter "Brought my own food" Wong, Ahyana "_Blue!_" -"I would like to say for the record that I am against the 'Spam Drop'. Feel free to ask me why". Clark, Kristin "Nitsirk"Walker, Andrea "Sleepy" Hall, Charles "Spameister" Danforth, Charles "Newly displaced and therefore a unique spacetime event" Danforth, Ross "As the world turns, so does the camera," "If wishes were fishes we would be in deep fish" Dickson, jere7my "120-card black &green deck with TWENTY-SEVEN COPPER TABLETS!" tho?rpe [Magic the Gathering is silly, I prefer Candy Land. I have fourteen candy canes and a first edition peanut brittle. -TG] -Literature & The Grotesque