Date: Thu, 21 Apr 1994 09:36:54 -0400 Subject: You know, in some species they eat their young...(SWILnews #10 with weird margins) Right, SWILnews time again and yes, we are a bit behind but bear with us and we will try to accomodate everyone. For instance, this week (not really this week but an amazing facsimile) we accomodated the parents of many fine young non-members. (it being Parent's Weekend and all -L) I am sorry to say that despite our best efforts none of the parents left disgusted or threatened lawsuits. Imagine our disappointment. However, I believe we confused a good percentage, and that's better than nothing. Along with the parents, we also had good hardy debate (as opposed to Hardy debate which involves a lot of Literature majors sitting around discussing really long, tedious books about rural America) about a great many important topics. The debate was great, the topics were great, the food was great, the ambiance couldn't have been better. However, my memory seems to have failed just a wee bit so I will stick to only the most crucial aspects of the meeting. There was to be Live Chess, and, due to the miracle of accelerated photography I happen to know that there was and, that it was good fun for all involved. Believe it or not, even the occasional rook got to move, and I swear that going into the third move Marc Kernighan, resident chess god, was definately worried. However, unbelievably enough, he managed top scrape together his defences and just edge King Stephen in the final decision. As has been the custom, parents helped out, toting shoes and chess boards and acting like pawns alongside their offspring. The family that castles together... and so forth. There was also some debate at the live chess festivities as to the viability and general amusement inherrent in live checkers. Stay tuned. Another happy and intriguing topic of discussion was George with the sub-topics of Schlock Film Catalogs and cleanliness. Charles, Lord of the Scallion, was again told to go hither and fetch key and catalog and crown. And so off he went upon his quest, for those of you who want to know if he was successful, tune in next SWILnews. Same bat-terminal, same bat-font. Finally, we came to the subject of all our hopes and dreams. T-Shirts (Reunion shirts, '94 Shirts, past shirts). Yes, I know that out there in the hills and dales, among the forests and glades of our fair land the people yearn for the day when they shall partake of the cloth bounty, hold aloft their garments of great beauty and shout to the heavens in joy and rapture. [get some sleep, TG -L] Well, we're working on it. As of now there are some interesting financial occurances and investigators are still analyzing the facts. However, in two weeks we shall get to the bottom of this and work everything out. Two Weeks! you say, I can't accept that, I can't go two more hours without knowing what's up with shirts! Well, actually, since this is late, we will actually be discussing the situation in about three days. So chill. We are still looking for curators for both of our libraries. Elizabeth Christian and Larry Miller have both expressed interest and will be talking with Stephen Sample about the requirements of the job sometime in the near future. Michael Brus' younger sister Elizabeth was dismembered today after stating that her brother was a geek and proving that she was not merely a mimic but a finely discriminating sentient being. The three consectutive meetings were waived by our dear friend Excecutive Rule#4. After the screams had died down, Literature's sister Kathy was approached with the possibility of dismemberment but the tall and oblivious sibling was neither impressed nor interested. There was some debate as to whether this, in fact proved her sentience but no vote was taken and Literature's mom remained confused by these goings on. Next week watch Ross Dickson attempt the three hurdles of getting to a third consecutive meeting, proving sentience and ending world hunger. Non-Swil business included the Parent's weekend a capella concert and folk dancing where we discovered that jere7my is not a woman, however well he line dances. In any event, that there is what it is. Peace. ATTENDANCE: (4/9/94) Elizabeth "Crown Princess of the ever so slightly damned" Christian, Michael "Sulfrous, flame-throwing bishop from a seething black hell" Brus, Evan Schatz "Brother of Colin", Colin "Crown prince of the almost saved" Schatz, Nancy "my mind has just gone completely blank" Miller, Hildy "Mother of Charles" Danforth, Roy Related to (Charles), Kathy "not related to (Charles)" Davis, Tom "Kristin's Father" Walker, Marlene "Kristin's Mom" Walker, Ross "This room is full" Dickson, Paul "Ye old Father" Dickson, Kristin "Tom & Marlene's Daughter" Walker, Irene "Lesley's Mother" Tsina, Charles "TENDON'S QUINTESENT Q" Danforth, Robert "They're trying to make us look like liars" Richardson, Heather "Plastic explosive Barneys exploding" Brinkhous, Larry "Boy, I'm sure glad _I_ don't have Testicular Cancer" Miller, Jeff "the figurehead but not the power of the family; the power behind the thrown" Miller, Elizabeth "My brother is a geek" Brus Literature & The Grotesque