NOW THAT WE'RE FINISHED READING THE COMICS, HERE'S THE SWILNEWS

Swilnews number 4 arrives bursting with the news that we've now been in power for five weeks, and just look at us!  (If you can
find us, that is.)  To continue on that note, this week is the insubstantial Swilmeeting.  [Pretty insubstantial statement there.
-- S] [Don't look at me for wit -- I just woke up -- F]  So be prepared for lots of Flash!  (That's _not_ the Boy Scouts' marching
song.)  Also this week, the exciting conclusion of our Make Your Own Doctor Who Rumor contest!  And remember, you're competing with
the truth, Ruth.

And Don't Forget ! a special surprise section, not at the end but further down than the middle of This Swil News!!

And now, the Attendance List!!!  Willing to admit that they appeared at the Swilmeeting on February 17, 1990: Josh "bloody
Fast-Talk of 1" Smith; Jessica "Look, you lost 2 sanity points !" Hines; David "Se habla cybernetic biped aqui" Randall; Rick "I'm
under the table and don't know that the attendance list is being passed around" Post; Jed ("I never knew Comps could be so much
fun!") Hartman; Janice to be continued; Jeff "You guys can't come up with any rumors more bizarre than what I've heard!"
Hildebrand; Deborah "Back to cumquats, I guess" Holtzman; Garth "Hi Mom!" Snyder; Sally "I think I just survived my comps" Carter;
Melissa "cosmic Christians don't eat waffles" Shaner; Josh "Blue Josh" Mackay-Smith; Bruce "innuendo central" Hahne; Alex "Death by
TinyMUD!" Weirich; Kurt Wagner; Athos, Porthos ... and Ned.; Nao "I tried to sneak past God--God noticed."; Mikala, after a
fashion,; Mike "Put me down, Andy" Bernstein; Fran was here, but now she's not.

In news of Swil, we have achieved that precious moment of calm right before all Hell breaks loose.  So, all normal announcements
hold true, viz. BEM, Swilshirts, the contest.  The only thing we have to fear is huge, slimy, Cthulhu-like aliens who want to steal
our breakfast cereal, and are disguised as cosmic Christians.  Do not, repeat, DO NOT attempt to rip off that rubber mask!!!  News
around the world: Reagan doesn't know.  Anything.  Jennifer on Rex Morgan looks lovely.  Aunt May has been shot, but she's alright
now.  Flash and Substance take no responsibility for the actions of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.  Wheel of
Fortune's contestant search: March 1-27, Atlantic City!  Make Swarthmore proud!  Penn and Teller's new act has Teller cooking
eggplant parmigiana.  And that's the way it is, Friday, February 23, 1990.

					Have a day,
					F & S (Feeling & Sluggish)