THE ALL NEW SWILNEWS FOR THE NINETIES, BROUGHT TO YOU BY FLASH AND SUBSTANCE!

Hello, actually it's just the same old swilnews, but we wanted our first
swilnews to sound kinda impressive.  Actually, it's the same sort of thing it
always was.  We'll start out with some general news about Swil, throw in the
attendance list, say some stuff about the science fiction world, and give
advice about interpersonal relationships.  At the end, we will have an
Extra-Special Surprise Section (so don't read this sentence, or you'll ruin the
surprise).  First the news:

We're in charge here.  Chris and Laura (not to mention Laura and Chris) aren't. 
Our all-new cabinet for the Nineties has been officially cabinated.  Final
respects to Bruce and Michael.  Good luck to Jeff, David, and Deb.  Josh is
dead, long live Josh.  Those recently titled and re-titled include The Guardian
of (In) Visibility (Deb Holtzman), No Fruit, Master of the Obvious (David
Auer), No Fruit, Resident Anachronism (Alex Weirich), No Fruit, Lore-Master
(Jed Hartman), and some fruit (just kidding. No fruit.  Really.)  Other news
includes BEM and Swilshirts, to which or for which you should submit.  We're
looking for people to run the Valentine's Day Massacre (realistic looking guns
are especially needed).  Also, anyone interested in running a Spring
Pterodactyl Hunt (boing) should speak to the Co-Presidents of Swil (or, in
fact, us).

It's time for the ever-popular attendance list!  January 27, 1990 (my mom's
birthday): Little Danny was walking when there was this FLASH of light, and he
saw a; strange SUBSTANCE lying on the ground, which looked like; a small green
fuzzy thing that went like this (hand motion); Sir Palomides the Saracen
[notice a trend failing? -- F&S]; Deb why am I always late Barolsky; Leif
"Where am I?  What am I doing here?  Who are these people?  WHERE IS MY TOWEL?"
Kirschenbaum; James "Flash-Substance Support Group" Deane [Thanks again for
your support -- F&S]; Sally "They're selling Girl Scout cookies and I have no
money" Carter; Nao "You know the story about the man who sells hats and wears
all his supply on his head at once?  That's what I felt like last night.  It
was neat, but wobbly";  I don't know the story.;  Bruce "too much Email" Hahne;
Deb "Now that I have a title about (in)visibility how am I going to sign the
Attendance List??" Holtzman; Headless Relatives; Fran "you can pass the notes
for announcement to me, and I'll burn them" Altvater; Jeff "Infinitely
Improbable" Hildebrand; Josh "I'll probably just come back ten minutes ago and
rip up this list" Smith; Jessica "H-I-N-E-S" Hines; Jacob "Hey, everybody,
that's my roommate!" Mattison; David "I can procure a red-head easy, paperbacks
are harder" Randall [NO EDITORIAL COMMENT -- F&S (what do you take us for?)];
Janice "I'm too shy to have an alias" Frankel; David "without Frock" Auer; Jed
("It isn't easy being green") Hartman.  Thanks, all, for attending!

In the outside world, the all-science fiction cable TV station has gone from
rumor to confirmed rumor status.  Asimov's _Nemesis_ is terrible.  H. G. Wells
has returned from the dead, and is working on a sequel to _The_Time_Machine_. 
[One of the above statements is false.  Can you guess which one?  No prizes
will be given. -- F&S]

As this Swilnews is getting too long, our wisdom about interpersonal
relationships will have to wait until some appropriate point in time.  So for
now, we leave you with one final positive item.  e.

			F&S (First & Swilnews)