The ingerdients for this week's swilnews are the following

  4,999,999,961 members (roughly, give or take Geneva)
  39 non-members
  one live chess game
  lots of t-shirts (about 30-40)
  Science Fiction Discussion Group
  Topic for above (Discussion Group, not chess game)
  Open Meeting
  Topic for above?  (well, maybe later)
  Time Bandits
  Swil Story Reading

Instructions:
Throw together the following people:
L. Almasy D. Auer J Austrian L Batt S Carter C Cobb G Dare J Deane D
Diaz W Finegar G Gowrisankaran B Hahne J Halbert J Hartman R Hecht M
Hickernell D Holtzman G Hopcraft K Katz J McKay-Smith M Mitchell J
Moskowitz J Patrick R Post H Rigney H Rosner S Ruff D Stiefbold B
Taylor D Van Stone S Ward A Weirich E Weiss L Wilder J Yeoh
and J Scott J Hines C Wick J Hines II T Hines
  -These are the 39 or so non-members, take good care of them.
  -Throw most of them onto a chess board on Parrish Beach at about 2ish
   on Saturday, April 16th.
  -Take t-shirt orders from all of them.
  -ask them TO ORDER COLORS ON THE SWILBOARD NOW!!
  -ask them to order colors politely
  -Invite them all to a Science Fiction Discussion Group.  On Saturday,
   April 16, 5ish, Sharples Reserved Room.  Invite their parents.  Tell
   them about the topic.  Science Fiction Then and Now.
  -Remind them of the open meeting on Sunday, April 24.  Don't say
   anything else about it except that place and time are unknown.
  -Tell them that Swil has agreed to sponsor Time Bandits with Movie
   Committee next year.
  -Remind them of the Swil Story Reading.  Remind them that it is to be
   co-sponsored with Story Reading, a next year phenomenon, and that it
   will take place in Bond, 7:30, April 23.


Do all those things.  Care good care of them, for they represent the
totality of the things that Swil will be doing for the rest of the
semester or thereabouts.  Especially the t-shirts.  Order Colors for
your t-shirts now.  Why now?  Because if you don't order them now then
a great big green evil nasty t-shirt monster will come and eat them
all!  And wouldn't you be disillusioned?  Or at the very least
d-shirted.  Of your t-shirt.  There's a joke in there somewhere, if you
can find it you get a prize.  And one final announcement: for more
interesting and exciting things to remember to read BEM when it comes
out.  I have it on good word (from Kir, although she doesn't know this)
that this BEM will be full of words.  Lots of them, probably in
something at least vaguely resembling sustained attempts at grammatical
order.  Probably a fair degree of creativity in there too.  So read it!

                                   Signing off, we are, topologically,

                                      The Presidents that go PIIINGG!!