SWILnews #15 of Can We Remember the Seniors, Already? Dear Rabble, You suck. Love, the Presidents. Dear Rabble, We're sorry about that last letter. The people responsible for that last letter have now been sacked. That means, of course, that your presidents are now Bruce the shark, the cockroach living in Finlay's room, and some snakes on a plane. We'd like to, on behalf of the ex-presidents, thank everyone for a great year in SWIL and for making the first semester of their/our presidency...special. We're sure you'll be thinking of us your every waking moment while we are separated, and weÕll try to spare a thought for you while we are eating Samuel L. Jackson. Love, the New and Improved Presidents. Dear Rabble, The people responsible for sacking the people responsible for the first letter have been sacked. Responsibly. Your new presidents are Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash--I mean, Rickets, Scurvy, and the Clap--I mean-- Dear Rabble, We're taking our jobs back. Have a great summer. Best of luck to the graduating seniors. Well miss you lots. Keep in touch (and come back for Reunion!). Love, Ninja, Pirate, and Robot The Presidency of Immortal Enemies Eliza, Jackie, and Finlay *Meeting Notes* *SWILBusiness -Finlay has t-shirts. If you ordered one, get it; if you didn't, see if she has extras. -BEM is over thar. -SWILMovie is 1960's Batman, Monday, 9:00, somewhere -There are t-shirt reprints, maybe. Jillian hasn't gotten 12 votes for any one t-shirt, so she'll send out a list of candidates & see if people will buy them. -Jean Elizabeth Snyder's proof: Equivalent to Alex-Leader Smith. She is sentient because Arthur made up a proof for her? Arthur was not allowed to write proofs since A L-S; since Arthur wrote Jean a proof, she's Alex, & she's sentient. Things tend to reveal their true nature. Sentient w/out limb or body part of some importance. Things tend towards their natural state. Jean has a long and illustrious history of trying to lose limbs. She loses fingernails. Jim wants her to show her nonexistent peg leg. She is showing her scar. It's large. She got bit by a shark?! She got bit by a shark! She got chased down the Grand Canyon by a boulder & got her leg trapped. Sentient b/c Indiana Jones? She got bones fractured and, thus, is trying to gain more bones. Arthur moves she has no sense of self preservation--shark, boulder, dating Greg. We should dismember her as a mercy dismemberment so she stops risking her life. Ninja managed to take her limb. 3 meetings clause by rule whatever. -Kathryn Unverzagt Goddard's proof: This proof is painful because it involves a punch in the face. She'll punch Arthur, but not Jean. She just punched Arthur in the head. How does this prove sentience? She doesn't know, but it's fun. Greg doesn't find Kate that threatening. Kate sentient so we can have our own space program? Everyone's urging Kate to punch the presidents. YOU SUCK, RABBLE. Kate made a conscious decision not to punch the presidents, and therefore has the moral high ground. Arthur wants to vote sentient b/c low-cut top. She punched him again. She is sentient b/c she gave up the moral high ground. We took her arm. Susan gave me a t-shirt! Which I paid for, but still. -No one is listening. -Whiiiiirrrrr, whiiirrr, whiiirrrrrrr whiirrrrrr. -Finlay is dyslexic. The winning lottery number is 9, not 6. Greg won either Mortal Kombat: the Movie, or the Mystery Bowl. He picked the movie. -Eye of Argon, 2, Kohl228. But it didn't actually happen, because no one remembered to bring the story with them. :( *Non-SWILBusiness -Jonathan is drinking a gradient. It's terrifying. -Sarah having garden party next Saturday, graduating Sunday. Party 3:30/4, graduation 2:30. -9:30 SC101, Boy Meets Tractor! Susan, Jamison, other funny people. Jokes that SWIL will appreciate. Oh God. -5:30-7, Whittier/Woolman block party @ Whittier. Feel free to drop by. No carnival games or moon bounce because of the darts. Really cute small children & Kentucky Derby. -10:30, SCCommons. Opening meeting for 24 hour theater festival. Sunday 11PM, plays will be performed. -5,000 Fingers of Dr. T showing? Talk to Jackie. Judy Garland is not in it. -Greg & Arthur holding a House party. Eeeeeee! Arthur wants to show an Arthur Crap Retrospective. (Zombie movie, Twelfth Night, etc.) -Think of BEM over the summer! And read it! -It is too early to talk about the Massacre. And the Hunt (except it's not), and the Kegger. And marriage. And everything except Remembrances. And now, REMEMBRANCES for the next eight hours! Happy vacation, everyone! Love, NPR