******************* SUMMARY OF MEETING: -Volunteer to be Hunt Wizard! Susan volunteered, but we still need two more. -Jillian is running Housing Bingo, the fun game that you play at the rising sophomore lottery while everyone else is crying. Win prizes! -Ride the Tide is next week. There's an activities fair on Friday, and we will be setting up a table at 11:30. Meet up then in front of Parrish, and come by if you can from 12-1. -We're hopefully playing Wink and Full Contact Red light-Green light in ML on Thursday evening (probably at 9). Keep an eye on FUN for further info. -Next week's Saturday Night SWIL is either a) a Magical Mystery Tour of Swat or b) a joint LAN party with Free Culture. -The following week's SNS (April 29th) is Walpurgisnacht. We're not sure where exactly it will be, because Worthstock is going on in Bond, but we'll let you know in a day or so. Find stories! -This week's Monday night movie is the Manchurian Candidate at 10pm in Mephistos. -Miles volunteered to be Susan's apprentice treasurer. <3! NON-SWIL EVENTS: -Jeff Kaufman has two available seats in a van to go to NEFFA, a weekend of contra and folk dancing in Boston. If you want to go, email him. -Free Culture is hosting a Pirate Party on Friday from 10-2. It will be in Upper Tarble, and have music videos and dancing. There is also a mashup video contest. -Next weekend is a Free Culture summit, open to the public. See freeculture.org/Summit2006 for details. If you are interested in hosting, particularly if female, talk to Nelson. -There is a roundsing at Bryn Mawr on Monday. Take the 6:30 van from Bond lot and go to Thomas Hall. If you are liable to get lost, let Sarah Hartman know you're coming and she'll meet you. -Also at Bryn Mawr, there is an exhibition of etchings and prints in the library, some of them by Sarah, starting on Tuesday. -On April 30th there will be a May Day celebration at Bryn Mawr. -There is also a May Day celebration at Belmont Plateau at sunrise: talk to Jeff or Sarah. ******************* SWILNEWS #12 has been eaten by a Grue. You wake up. It is dark and noisy. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. >open eyes You are sitting at a long table in a room full of noisy people (noisy space people? -r) who are shouting. There is a tray with an empty plate, a cup half full of blue Powerade, a napkin with the number "six" written on it, and a Rabble. There are some Doors to the east. You are not sure how you fell asleep. Perhaps your blue Powerade was poisoned. >drink powerade It tastes like blue. >pick up napkin You are not a number! You are a free man! >go outside The Doors are closed. >open doors Jillian says, "You can't go outside!" The Rabble laughs at you. >hate rabble The Rabble attacks you. You close your eyes in fear. You are eaten by a grue, which is then eaten by the Rabble. >load save game You never saved your game. Idiot. >destroy computer ...oh, look! A saved game! You are sitting at a long table, etc. There are some Presidents here. >pick up presidents The Presidents hit you with a lightsaber. >exposition "We have a quest for you!" say the Presidents. "We have misplaced the Magical Mystery Bowl, the only thing that can return the Rabble to order and save the magical (space -p) kingdom of SWIL!" >refuse "Thank you for accepting!" say the Presidents. >nooooooooooo I don't understand that. >hate presidents Your hatred bounces off the Presidents. They laugh at you. >open doors The Doors creeeeak open. The ancient smell of thousand-year-old toast wafts in. >e You are in Sharples dungeon. There is a condiments cart. There are exits to the north, south, and west. >n You must gather your party before venturing forth. >i don't need no stinkin' party! Yes. Yes, you do. >w You are in a room with a long table. The Rabble is screaming. There is a Susan here. "We need Hunt Wizards!" say the Presidents. >recruit susan "I accept!" says Susan. Susan is now in your party. >recruit rabble I don't understand that. >e You are in Sharples dungeon. A pasta monster attacks! >run away run away run awaaaaaay You are in the middle of a large field. It is warm and sunny. There is a grey castle to the north, a church to the west, and a fortress to the east. >n You are in Parrish Castle. You are in a hallway full of offices, all the same. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. >but it's not dark I don't understand that. >e You are in front of Princess Liz Derickson's office. The Princess is in another castle. There is a sealed envelope nailed to her door. >take envelope Taken. >open envelope The envelope contains a pack of Housing Bingo lottery cards and a note that says, "Give these to Jillian." >i You are carrying: A napkin with the number 6 written on it An envelope full of Housing Bingo cards A torch A talking skull A pack of cards A copy of Settlers A crowbar Dactyl wings A barrel Chewing gum An animal companion >how does all this fit in my backpack? A wizard did it. >play game You can't do that here! You need more people in your party. >play game at 8 in science center commons That already happened. > :( Turn that frown upside down! :) >hate computer You are eaten by a grue. >i'm sorry You were not eaten by a grue. >go outside You are on the lawn in front of Parrish. There are lots of prospective students. >set up table You set up a SWIL table at 11:30 on Friday afternoon. >wear dactyl wings A spec looks at you funny. >talk to spec You tell the spec about SWIL. The spec signs up for the fun list. Your score is now 5/350. >e You are now standing outside McCave dungeon. There are some buildings to the south and a field to the north. >s You are standing outside Willets. There are noises coming from the basement. Faces peer out of the windows at you. >run away The plot requires that you continue. >go inside You are in Mephistos, the Willets lounge. There are some SWILlies sitting around the TV. >look around You see a copy of "The Manchurian Candidate" sitting on a shelf. >watch manchurian candidate You and the other SWILlies watch SWIL movie. Your score is now 10/375. >waitasecond.... Your score is now 7/380. (i have a feeling this computer is actually loki -p) >go outside It is dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. >light torch What torch? >i You are carrying: Chewing gum >crap, where'd my stuff go? A wizard did it. Watch your language. >n You are standing at Parrish circle. McCave is to the east, Parrish to the west, and the shuttle to the north. Someone's lost stuff is lying around. >hey, that's mine! I don't understand that. >take stuff I don't understand that. A hobo takes your stuff. >get in shuttle The shuttle driver will take you to ML, but only for a reward. >offer chewing gum The shuttle driver accepts. You drive to ML. You are standing outside ML. The lounge is full of people. There are exits to the north and south. >grope people You are now playing Wink. >leave You must kiss the Wink to continue. (could you put in that greg is hot? -arthur) The Wink calls "bread basket". >wigglewigglewiggle You have been sat upon by Ubermatt. You fail. Your score is now 0/400. >cry Everyone feels sorry for you. You have your choice of Saturday Night SWILs. >have magical mystery tour You don't have a tour guide in your party. >email jim Jim hasn't read his email yet. >email free culture Free Culture is having a LAN party next Saturday. If you can't have a Mystery Tour, you can go to the LAN party instead. >leave You have left the lounge. You are now standing in the breakfast room. There are some couches, a lamp, and bookshelves in the corner. >read book It is too dark to see. You are likely to be eaten by a grue. >turn on light Light turned on. >read book You are now reading a book of short stories. Coincidentally, they are all about horror, sex, and trees. >take book Taken. >leave You are now on the shuttle. The driver will take you to campus, but only for a reward. >i You are carrying: A book of short stories >but i need the book for walpurgisnacht! Tough. >i You are carrying: A book of short stories A talking skull >offer talking skull The driver accepts. You are now standing at Parrish circle. To the east is McCave dungeon, to the west is Parrish. >go into mccave You are now standing in McCave. There are stairs leading up and down. The far end of the room is wreathed in dark shadow. >take deep, calming breaths There is not enough oxygen. >take single breath Taken. >go downstairs You descend into the stacks (call numbers A-B, oversize volumes). You hear muffled sounds of distress from the north. >it's a trap! Maybe. >go upstairs I can't let you do that, Dave. >my name's not dave Your score is now -10/a million billion. >n You see several cages with people in them. They are your fellow SWILlies. >free swillies They are not free. They are $2.50 apiece. >buy swillies You don't have any money. >borrow swillies without intending to return them The SWILlies have escaped on their own. In gratitude for your rescue attempts, Miles gives you a dollar. You offer him the post of treasurer in recognition of his mad financial skillz. He accepts. You go south. >um? You're not very good at this game. I'm *helping* you. >go upstairs You are standing in the lobby of McCave with Susan and her new dark apprentice. >go outside You are outside in the cool night air. It is dinnertime. Sharples lies to the west. You are hungry enough to eat a grue. >that's terrible You go to Sharples. >w You are already in Sharples. The grill is serving grilled grue gristle over a light angelhair pasta. There is an exit to the south. >eat You are not hungry anymore. >s You are standing by the condiment bar. There are exits to the north and south, and a set of Doors to the west. >open doors Opened. >go inside You are in a room with a long table. Jillian is here. >talk to jillian Jillian says, "What took you so long?" >i You are carrying: A book of short stories A single breath An envelope full of Housing Bingo cards A talking skull Dactyl wings Pasta >give envelope jillian Jillian says, "Thank you." >demand reward Jillian says, "Oh look, I have the Magical Mystery Bowl right here. It was here all along!" >i hate this game I hate you, too. (too much hatred :( -n i love yoooou! -p) >take mystery bowl Taken. >open mystery bowl The Magical Mystery Bowl contains an Evangelion video tape. You are pleased. >leave You are standing outside of Sharples. >go home You go to NEFFA and contra dance. >what? You go to the Free Culture pirate parrrrty in Upper Tarble. You make a prize-winning music video mashup. Susan sings "Bananaphone". >what? You go to Bryn Mawr and sing rounds. >wait just a damn minute here Watch your language. You go to see Sarah's etchings. They are pretty. >can i play? You get "doodled" by Finlay. (hey! hey! -r) >i-- You go to the May Day Celebration at Bryn Mawr. >do nothing You go to the Free Culture summit and host people. You get a cutlass. >twiddle thumbs You go to another May Day celebration on Belmont Plateau. >sigh You go for dinner and ice cream with Finlay. >quit game I have won with a score of eleventy million/5. You are eaten by a grue. Created by: Attendance List of "Mommy, Are We There Yet?" Mai "NEOPREEEEEEEEENE!" Pucikova Susan "I need a few freshmen for...perfectly innocent plans..." Zell Alex "Your 'random' number generator makes the baby John von Neumann cry!" Pshenichkin Greg "Lt General Allspice" Robinson Arthur "Don't work with Susan. She makes you take drugs!" Chu Jeff "Chinese is the wave of the future, which is why the presidents can't read it" Kaufman George "George "George "George "George "George... [infinite sum of "George"] + [infinite sum of "Dahl"] Margaret "Shadowy Scots" Cosgriff Revan "Crime" Williams Malcolm "And" Augat Meggie "Punishment" Ladlow (ooohhh, they're still organized! -r) Jerome "Bessel Function" Fung Jillian "Blah" Waldman Andrew "I went to an Organization XIII concert and all I got was this stupid signature" Conforti Brown Nelson "Free Swillie!" Pavlosky Miles "SWIL Culture" Skorpen Michael "Grand Theft Colo: Otaku City" Noda David "Tolstoy could kick Dosdoyevsky's ass any day of the week" Pupkin Jackie "I went to an Organization XIII concert and all I got was killed" Werner (::tries to delete everything:: -r's computer ahhhhh! i hate computers and they hate me! -p i can't let you do that, jackie -r) (everything smells like potatoes! -r) Eliza "Everybody has a Ling Minor" Blair Finlay "I should know better than to use non-ASCII characters in my signature! But I don't! So Pirate's gonna type WHATEVER SHE WANTS (::bites:: -r owwww! -p)" Logan