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SUMMARY of Kawaii SWILnews #9

-Schlock films are Starcrash, the Star Wars Holiday Special, and the Magic Christian. Coming to somewhere near you during reading week!
-This year's t-shirt design will be "Anywhere else, we would have been eaten first," submitted by Mai and Eliza. It is design #1 here: http://wiki.swil.org/index.php/SWIL_shirt_voting
-SWIL's 28th anniversary Reunion will be from October 6-9, Columbus Day Weekend. Mark your calendars!
-Anna Melton, Bryn Mawr '09, is now sentient.
-Monday's SWIL Movie is The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T, 9pm in Mephistos.
-Next week's Saturday Night SWIL is short D&D one-shots run by Miles and guest DMs if needed. He will have character sheets made up, no experience necessary. 7pm, Science Center Commons.

Non-SWIL
-Big Love is showing tonight at 8pm.
-Gamelan concert on April 9th (stay tuned for further info).
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SWILnews #9 is so kawaii omg

Here begin: Artie's Happy Notes!!! (The reader must imagine the little hearts over the i's for himself (or herself, you misogynist pig! -p))

We aren't pathetic!! Hooray!?! (so are we happy, or what? -n hard to identify the punctuation -r can we pretend there are semicolons? -p no -n ; -p omg i made a smiley! -p you are so pathetic -r :( -p)

STORIESSTOIRESSTORIESSTORIES!!!! *bouncebounce*

We're going to the Kohlberg faculty lounge at 7:30 and reading storiesstoriesstories SQUEEEEE!!! :D Then we can all go have fun at SAGER! It will be OH SO SEXY! Yay! And then we'll play games and Miles will have D&D modules and I can't wait to play my character and it's the shiniest happiest weekend of MY ENTIRE LIFE!!! Science Center Commons at 7:00 everybodee!!! (i'm just imagining arthur narrating this XD -n too many smilies! -p too bad -n i hate you -p we're the best presidents evarz -n do you want a cupful of diet coke up your ass, finlay? -p i so did not say that -p yes you did it's in the notes -n I'M STUPID -n hey shut up -n dammit -n see, this is what happens when our creative energies don't go into the writing of swilnews -p)

REUNION!!!  Oh boy oh boy oh boy!!!  All the ALUMNIII are COMING!!  All my favoritest most wonderfullest friends!!! :D  They are coming October 6-9 which is Columbus Day Weekend AND THE HUNT!!!  Oh wow we have a Hunt with all the alums and OMG OMG I AM SO EXCITED THEY CAN ALL BE HERE AND IT'LL BE SO AWESOME THEY CAN HELP US OUT SO MUCH!!!! :D :D :D (how do you draw a thumbs up in ascii? -p) (my god, who's going to type up the attendance list for the reunion swil meeting? -p me! me! i volunteer! -r my god, who's going to run reunion swil meeting? -n my guess is nobody...or everybody. -r)

Sentience proof!!!
Hooray for Anna! Oh, she's so cute! I <3 her! She's just like Sarah and Sarah is sentient and OH SHE JUST CUT OFF SARAH'S HEAD SO CUUUUUTE!!! I COULD JUST DIE! (so could sarah -p wtf i don't remember this -n is that really how you spell 'remember'? it looks wrong -r that's because you're crazy -n) 

And they are demons and chant witchy witch things and won't take off their clothes YAY!!! Bryn Mawr traditions and hooray!!! Oh wuv! Wuv! WUV!!! She is Chaotic Evil and I AM SMITTEN! (why were we beating him? -n no, i think he means WITH WUV -r)

(In the interest of having an actual record of this sentience proof, here's what we can remember from Arthur's...useful notes: Anna Melton stated her name.  Jamison told her to prove it, things fell into chaos, and the proof eventually started.  Every Bryn Mawr senior has a freshman (fresh-person -n there will be no fresh-people in my swilnews of pleasure! -r) that takes over her role/identity; Anna presented herself as Sarah Hartman's freshman, on account of roundsinging, folkdancing, SWIL involvement, and being friends with upperclassmen.  Because Sarah is sentient, Anna claimed sentience. She was asked to prove that she was from Bryn Mawr by demonstrating more Mawrtyr traditions. Anna and Sarah began to sing, then chant evil incantations. The presidents leapt to defend themselves...er, SWIL from evil, and it was decided that all Mawrtyrs are demons. Anna tried to bite off Sarah's head. Then Jamison started accidentally knocking over everything on his tray. Obviously Anna was a minion of Chaos, or perhaps just Chaotic Evil. We agreed that she was sentient before she destroyed the entire room.)

We have Schlocky-wocky movie-wovies hooray! We have the Star Wars Holiday Special and Stifler's funny Italian thingy (this sounds wrong -n this is actually Starcrash -p) And then we voted and junk about the Magic Christian and the Legend of the Liquid Sword and I don't remember which one won! :/ (magic christian -n arthur, these are not acceptable notes! -p maybe you should be more accepting, you misogynist pig! -n  maybe your HEAD should be accepting of my FIST -p yay, i'm not the only misogynist pig in the room! jackie, let's have a club! -r with blackjack and hookers? -n)

And then we had T-shirts and Mai (and eliza -p) won and I'm sad I didn't win :( but I <3 MAI (it's really more like 'i shapeless cardiod blob mai' -r) so much and it makes me happy and I'm so glad for her!!!  Hurrah!!!

Yay yay yay!!  Now we have non-SWIL business!  Now there's Big Love at 8:00 tonight and tomorrow and there's Gamelan on April 9 (that may actually be a 4 -p but we don't think so -r) and there's a Cantatrix concert at 7:00 tonight in the Belltower and SAGER!! at 10:00 in the WRC and Olde Club and BMT!!! in April 15 (... -npr) and I'm SO HAPPY I'M MARRYING MYSELF!!!! (... -npr purity points for everyone! -r do you get purity points for attending the wedding of a single nonmember to himself? -r)

Thus ends Artie's Happy Notes!!!  (thank god -pr we'll write our own swilnews next week, we swear... -p with blackjack! and hookers!++ i only said that cause she told me to! -r who told you to? -n her! -r fine -n)

Attendance List of THE RED PEN OF DOOOO[...]OOOM!

Venger Jamison, Lord of Moria, Slayer of Tiamat, Delivery-boy of the White Tower, Dark Peon, Silly Hampster, Electronic Donkey Bottom Biter, Hackmaster, Swordchuck Weilder, Junior. (i hate you -p)
Arador Skorpen, Master of Mordor, Slayer of Bahamut, Delivery-boy of the Dark Tower, Light Peon (master of mordor *and* light peon? -p), Silly gerbil, Electronic Elephant Biter, Slashmaster (snicker -p), Hadoken-master, Senior.
Malcolm "A smiling face" Augat
Meggie "A fireplace" Ladlow
Revan "A Cozy room" Williams (the freshmen...are still scarily organized! -r freshp... -n NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! -pr)
Jillian "Apathy!" Waldman
Mai "Long pointless name .....[...]....." Pucik
Sarah "Divining the future from black pepper" Hartman
Anna "Sarah Hartman" Melton
Greg "Only fire can scour the taint from the land" Robinson (hey greg...TAINT!!! -n)
Andrew Conforti Brown, Dark Master of Evil, Pope Gregory X-2, Vicar of Swarthmore (i'd like to note that in my english seminar, we discussed porn that involved a vicar running after a woman who was riding a bicycle while wearing nothing on the lower half of her body -p hey, hot -r and i'm not making this up -p), Voice of God, KAOS, Disciple of Chaos, Chairman of the Federal Reserve Board, the Death of Arthur, the Red Prophet Shinigami.
Jackie "Everyone <3s Bea Arthur!" Werner
Arthur "The Femslash Mistress" Chu
Eliza "The Great Designer" Blair
Finlay "Traveling backwards in time!" Logan
Bea "I love you too" Arthur (do we really want to be perpetuating this? -r yes -p you're all terrible people -r yes -p NOOOOOOOO -n no, stop! -r you do not get people to stop typing NOOOOO by shouting NOOOOOOO -p)