From acbrown @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Thu Apr 21 21:00:23 2005 Date: Thu, 21 Apr 2005 20:09:13 -0400 (EDT) From: Andrew C. Brown Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: swilnews @ swil.org Subject: The SWILnews 11 of LJ Angst Summary: Send an email to lsmith4 to order t-shirts by Friday. Include color, size, and style of each one you want. Go to the Beach this Friday at 11 to help set up for/meet specs for the activities fair. Movie nominations are this Saturday! Suggest movies we haven't shown or movies shown no later than Spring 2002. Go see The Adventures of Baron von Munchausen on Monday. Walpurgisnacht is April 30th from 7:30-??? in Bond. Bring stories. May 7th is Remembreances. SWILNEWS 11: The SWILnews of LJ Angst I am so annoyed at Mai and Jillian, making me write SWILnews ALL BY MYSELF when they KNOW I've got 37 papers, an exam every day for the next month, and I just broke up with my boyfriend, that hottie who lives down the hall. It's so tense, and i don't know what to do!!! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( Last Saturday was ridiculous; my dad was here, and after the meeting was called to order, we all introduced ourselves. I was *so* embarrassed!!1!!1 how could they do something so silly in front of my DAD?!!??!? Also, we're supposed to order t-shirts by e-mailing lsmith4, but I don't even know this girl, and I've got no time!!1!!!11!! Between my 37 papers, 12 exams, and SUPREME ANGST, I don't have time to e-mail her by Friday!!! And I can't even figure out what color, size, or style I want!!! MY LIFE SUCKS!!!1! Also, this Friday the specs are coming, i don't have any because teh office said I wasn't 'responsable'! Of course I'm responsable!!! I keep all of my plushies in line, and you know how annoying Cthulhu gets sometimes! And at 11:00 we're supposed to go to Parrish beach to help set up for this activities faire thing; but I have CLASS! Geez--don't they know our schedules by heart? Why schedule it when their's class??!? I'm looking forward to Walpurgisnacht, which is April 30th in Bond from 7:30-???, except that [name omitted] is going to be there, that bitch!!! She allways thinks she knows what's best but I never listen to her so blech! Also, I have to pay Jerome $3 to go. Also, I need to find a story. But where can I find a story that adequately expresses the depth of angst and depression my soul holds?!??!?1??!? I'm screwed!!! Also, movie nominations are next Saturday, which is cool, except everyone's going to suggest these feel-good movies where everyone finds true love despite the fact that life itself is suffering and if they don't show *good* movies like this one I saw I can't remember the name of where this vampire queen is all sad and dies at the end I'LL KILL MYSELF!!1!!!!1!!1!1 Haha! Also, it's so unfair that we can't show movies weve shown after Spring 2002, because the most AWESOME MOVIES EVER! were shown then. So I'm going to suggest these movies just to spite them! Also, Jamison was like so annoying, because after we decided we could show movies Movie COmmittee (who ALWAYS steals our movies) had shown, he said 'Let's send Belgian Mercenaries to destroy Movie Committee'. Like he KNOWS Belgian mercenaries. I suggested we just cast a curse upon them because I know MAGICK, but they all mocked me. They will feel my pain when I take my horrible revenge on them!!! Next week's SWIL Movie is The Adventures of Baron von Munchausen, which I doubt theill show, because they never do. Because they are the WORST PRESIDENTS EVER!!! Also, they'res no prop up, so they probably don't care. Last night was Housing Bingo. I didn't get to go because I had TOO MUCH WORK!!!!!1!! So I think I deserve a Bingo prize becuase I so would have one had I been there!! Rememberences are on May 7, which is so depressing because I have 12 exams that day!!! They should have scheduled it some other day, like the 14th, when everyone's gone home, but they don't care about me!!! Also, as usual, SFDT topic is STAR WARS--geeks. HOnestly, they should discuss vampires, because they are the COOLEST thing ever! I met a vampire at the club last night, and he was SOOOOO COOOOL!!!!!! XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD Also, because my family wants me home during the summer, I'm missing ALUMNI WEEKEND, the 3-5 of June. Their so mean!! The alumni are so much cooler than my family-I wish I were an alumni!!! We decided to call Mike A Heartbreaking Page of Staggering Entitlement, which is the stupuidest title ever. There were more but teh notes don't say anything, so I think no one was paying attentiong to me, just like always!!!! I hate them!!!!! We took yearbook photos, and as usual, I was in the back! They alawys do this to me, because they hate me!! Also, Eliza is the SWIL Ninja because she silently killed Blake, despite the fact I am MUCH cooler than she is! Andrew is now (also) the Primate of SWIL, pending the passage of his other papal titles. Nick said we couldn't call him the Nexus of Fuzzy Joy because he's mean!!! Also, a bunch of people went up to George to "inventory Hunt Supplies", acting like I didn't know what that meant, and didn't bother inviting me up. It's because they secretly don't want me around!!1! Also, Jamison stole Blake's lottery ticket, so when Blake won teh lottery there was so much drama because Blake demanded hi's ticket back and Jamison was his stupid self and NOTHING GOT DONE! Gods, it takes so long to do anything around here! Also, after I've gone home, theyre going to try to see Episode III, despite the fact I've told them its dumb. But they never listen to me, despite the fact that I always have the answers. They aren't mature enought o handle teh truth!!!! Mai rowed in the Crum Regatta, and didn't drown. She and Qian were then in the Gamelan concert. It was hot and cool. Ben played his video game music in the SCCS media Lounge; of course I didn't get to go because none of my teacher's give me any free time! Their terrible people and I ought to get back at them for that, but I won't because Im too nice of a person. Finlay talked about Satanism on Wednesday, and she got it all wrong!! Satanism is all about doing evil things and worshipping the Devil and killing Christians and all that because I read all about it on my friend's livejopurnal!! XDXDXDXD Also, Arthur is running "Secret Weakness Assassins", so if you want to play, email him. There was a Jim Henson Tea, as if puppets aren't just SOOOOO childish!!! Also, an orchestra concert for all of the people who like to pretend their sophistocated and stuff. Theyre so pretentious, just like everyone else!!!! Jim ran a canoe trip, because apparently hes not as cool as I thought he was and he's just a JOCK in disguise!!!!! Attendance List of Seventeen Languages Viva "I'm not actually here" Horowitz [is such a slut!! She told me she was dating] Sarah "y^y^ap" Hartman [but then I saw her making out with] BDan "lauernd uber dem Sumpf" Fairchild [!!!1!!!!] Lauren "Arthur R. Chu" Smith [was supposed to help me with my English homework, but] Mike "se cyning" Karcher [told me she hated me, so I didn't show up!!11!! XDXDXD] [Then] Emmanuelle "WEEE" Wanbach [and] Maureeeeeeee [and] Wendy "I've never climbed everest" Solkin [told me that Lauren was telling everyone I'd slept with] Jamison "Lord of non MOOSE" Jamison [just to make] George "Venger" Dahl [jealous-but that's such a lie!! I love] Jamison "Mr. Grimm" Joe [and would never do anything to hurt him!!] [I heard that] Greg "Mr. Gruffff" Robinson [,according to] Juan-Luis "Disembodied Unicorn Head" Ruiz-Fukubiyashi-Mc Schmittie [,] [spent the night in] Abigail "A sea in a drift of confusion" Graber['s room again. But everyone knows she and] Alex "This nickname is a McGuffin" Pshenichkin [have been getting it one for months. Greg's just a jerk.] Eliza "The Once and Future" Blair [slapped me last night. She said I'd kissed] Nick "Increasing the possibility of having Robot Overlords since 2003" Ward [who I KNEW was HER boyfriend, but she's just making this up so that she can dump Nick and have hot, steamy sex with] Arthur "Last night *I* dreant Jillian was my love slave, but it wasn't hot at all" Chu [without anyone thinking she's a slut.] Michael "Patron deity" Noda [is so lonely. Sometimes I wonder if maybe he just needs to get laid, so I told] Adam "Mountain, Raging Goblin, Lotus Petal (sac for black mana), Dark Ritual, Dark Ritual, Hatred (pay 19 life), swing for 20" Oleksa [to find someone Noda can sleep with. However,] Larry, father of Iron Fist {Mai, I am your...SISTER! -m} [heard about it and spread it everywhere so] Maurie "Lord of the Rings (and shiny things)" [told Noda's roommate,] Jin(/)m "I'd be ak(/)ble to wg(/)rite faster if you hadn'c(/)t given us the thip(/)s QWERTY pen!" Jim Mosp(/)kowitq(/)z [that I was trying to get someone to break Noda again. Why does everyone think I'm just trying to manipulate them!?!?!?!?!!!!1!!??!?] Emily "the 2nd trip to the Galapagos" Logan [and] Finlay "A heartpaging Stagger of Entitling Breakment" Logan [are both dating] Blake "the regis cometh, and that Right Soon." Setlow [but he's really lusting after] M. Jawaad "I am Arthur Chu" Hussain [who think's Blake is scum, because of what] MIKE SETLOW [said about him.] [Finally,] Mikio "Creepy, Sleepy, Sketchy, Wretchy, Toy...Man...beh." Akagi [and] Jacob "Hermit" Wysor [and] Kori "tile breaker" Akagi {Smily face} [are the one's who pranked] Jerome "I can't wake up early anymore" Fung['s room, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone.] [Also, Mai, Jillian and Andrew seem to have given up, and shoved the notebooks under my door last night. I guess this means I'm SWILpresident now, so now there's going to be a lot of changes...] -- Andrew C. Brown, Esq. 'The Man of a Thousand Titles' SWILScribe of Appending Doom Kaos, Fifth Librarian of the Apocalypse Venti's Familiar Professor Chaos Meredith Toast Satan "Getting *that* much fun out of life ought to be illegal." -- Andrew C. Brown, Esq. 'The Man of a Thousand Titles' SWILScribe of Appending Doom Kaos, Fifth Librarian of the Apocalypse Venti's Familiar Professor Chaos Meredith Toast Satan "Getting *that* much fun out of life ought to be illegal."