From acbrown @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Thu Mar 24 00:42:30 2005 Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 22:57:16 -0500 (EST) From: Andrew C. Brown Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: swilnews @ swil.org Subject: SWILnews #7: The Wakening Summary: BEM due Saturday by noon. T-shirt designs due Saturday at meeting; voting at meeting. The Kegger was. Remembrances are May 7. Next week's SWILmovie is Hero. SFDT is discussing Economics in SF/F. ==================================================== According to investigators, SWILNews passed away at sometime between 12:00 and 12:30 PM. As SWIL still had several thousand gallons of root beer left over from the kegger, we had a wake. [That's not true; we only had about 4! -c] However, we had mixed signals, and everyone was slightly pathetic. [Mai apparently got 'order' and 'disorder' confused. -c] [There's a comment on Discordianism that goes here, but I can't remember what it is. -c] [Can you call it a clever pun instead of a comment? -c] [And this is why SWILNews drags on for so long -c] Miriam raised a glass, saying, "SWILNews may have been great and all, but let's look to the future, namely March 26, when all you need to have sent us submissions to BEM. Send us fantasy! Sci-fi! Weird stories! Art!" [Porn! -m] [Filk is acceptable -c] Because everyone was too drunk to remember the kegger, the presidents took a moment to remind everyone of the people who require thanks for cleaning up the horrible mess: Jillian, Finlay, Mai, Mark, Mendez, Noda, Micaya, Jerome [because-NO!!!!! -c], and other people who we don't remember because the records of the wake consist of a half-scrawled note written on a napkin soaked in beer [or something... -m] Everyone was too depressed about the death of SWILNews to bring in t-shirt designs, except Jonathan. If we don't get more T-shirt designs by Saturday, we will choose his. The following people were supposed to bring designs: Sarah[Hewlett-Packard Lovecraft], Jim [Strangests in the Night], Finlay [Gee, Ma!], Eliza[Jurassic SWIL], and SWILSwirl! People helped Mark bring SWILNews' effects to George. Then, because a number of seniors typically "leave us" just before graduation, we planned their wake to be the second-to-last Saturday. On a happier note, the festival of sex and trees [Horror, fertility and trees! -c] [And the trees are only incidental -c] [Unless you're a tree-hugger -m] will be April 30. Luckily, this means we can celebrate Walpurgisnacht on April 30. For reasons unfathomable to anyone, Jamison was declared the "King of non-MOOSE!", allowing him to inherit Belgian territory. Because this is a SWILlian wake, we also planned for a ritual stabbing that typically takes place in October. If you want to be running this yearly Hunt, please come to meeting or talk to presidents by meeting. The turnout was very low. The reason for this is lack of prop. PROP, you lazy, inconsiderate non-proppers! [Oh, we're creative today -c] [For a second, I thought that I'd said that -m] Movie was "Brave Little Toaster". [I didn't go because I had to prepare for a job interview. What's YOUR excuse? -m] [You hate appliances? -Finlay (F)] Next week is Hero. Then, because we didn't know what to do with SWILNews' stuff, we auctioned it off. Miriam/Blair won the lottery, and took 9-Men's Morris. Bob Gross was in the Hamantashen-Latke debate on Tuesday. His opponent started by proving that Hamantashen are the world's first erotic pastry, to which Gross replied with an argument involving a philosophy of life that is best summarized as "When life hands you potatoes, make latkes". His opponent ceded the debate in the first round of rebuttal. "12th Night" will be on April 1. And April 2. And April 3. And, for that matter, March 31, but that's a dress rehearsal. Ask Jackie what time it is. [If you can find her -c] A representative of Steve Jackson Games came on Sunday to prevent Jillian from writing her paper. [Was he successful? Find out on next week's installment of 'SWIL: The Wakening' -m] [Boo -F] [You know you want to make it -m] [No, I want to wake it -F] Orchestra 2001 played an opera. It was fun, and in German. [Is it more like apotheosis or more like oozing? -c/m] [It can't be 'SWIL: The Squeaking', ... because that makes no sense -F] There will be a story reading in Greylock on Monday. Go there or...be illiterate. I don't know. Just go. [I think your ability to spell 'illiterate' highly, highly, highly amusing -c] [INability, INability, INability! -c] People went to walk in the Crum. Presumably, most of them survived. Qian still wants percussionists for her music stuff. [Why are we going shopping with Mai to make her happy? -m] [Poco Loco! -c] And this belongs up there, in SWILBusiness, but the SFDT topic this week is 'Economics in Sci-Fi'. [Guess who chose the topic this week! -m] [Should I go to that? -F] [It'll be edifying! -m] ======================================== Attendance List of Hot Mark-on-Engineering Action BLaaah... Finlay Logan [also, you should yell at kit, because he never signs the attendance list with his name -F] MARK "SHOOT OUT AT THE CANDY SHOP" HANDLER George "I love Andrew" Dahl <3 Andrew "George Dahl" Meredith <-- (he was just fantasizing) Jamisonian operator Venger "The Best" Jamison I Emmanuelle "Weeeeeeeeeeeee" Wambach Mike "I <3 replacing 'Love' with '<3'" Karcher JONATHAN "AN ILL WIND" SCHNEIDER* Blair "I <3 Quantum Physics & John Boccio" Reaser Jackie "Small strip of sanity" Werner [rawr. -m][there were no capitals. and put a 'w' in there. -m] [*edits* -c] Marie "Eradicating Jackie's sanity, one small strip at a time" Cosgrove-Davies [the question is, is sanity anything like clothing? -m] [that's kind of not what I was thinking... -F] Marie's "Sister Dear" Sister Samuel "At Jalad" Jenkins Michael "Stick. Stick OW! Stick." Noda Greg "This is not a nickname" Robinson** George "Dahl" Dahl Dahl "Lhad" Egoeg Jamison "Lovable Scamp" Maginty Abigail "II" Graber Mary "Moose!" Wootters Gerard "Heir to the legacy" Capashen Adam "Wirewood channeler, Pemmia's aura, Panoptic [i think i've just figured out why your bizarre archetypal fantasy universe doesn't plunge into economic spirals. it's because... blah blah blah....inflation.... blah blah blah... equilibrium... But I figured it out! it makes sense! .. blah blah blah... constantly fluctuating ... I'm going to bring graphs to SFDT! -m] mirror, imprinting Shahrazade, Go" Oleksa [kill him later -F] Miriam "WHEEEEEE!" Newman Lauren "Dhali" Smith [there's an upside-down one here: -F] Christopher "wide awake" Jager [/upside-down one] Sarah "Bleagh" Hartman Alex "Most of Greg's signature is footnotes. Likewise, most of [scribble] [scribble] I shall have to write lots to counterbalance it. And make it really not funny. Mission accomplished." Pshenichkin Arthur "By penis or fist, I'll be last on this list" Chu Michael "I finally came to SWILmeeting and all I didn't get to vote on was this lousy t-shirt" Cohen PILE OF GREEN [strike]SLEEVES[/strike] PICKLES ENGIN "HE LEFT ME FOR MUSIC" EERING [Mark, how could you! -m] Mai "Porcupine [backwards R] Us" Pucik Jillian ".sig" Waldman Meredith "Gregory X-2 5R3" Conforti Brown [*incessant popping of bubble wrap* -m] * THIS FOOTNOTE IS A THROWBACK TO A SIMPLER TIME OF A MORE INNOCENT AMERICA ** This is not a footnote *** *** This is a footnote **** **** This footnote is described by a probabilistic equation that contains regions of both footnote and not-footnote. ***** ***** This footnote is Mark's love-child. -- Andrew C. Brown, Esq. 'The Man of a Thousand Titles' SWILScribe of Appending Doom Kaos, Fifth Librarian of the Apocalypse Venti's Familiar Professor Chaos Meredith Toast Satan "Getting *that* much fun out of life ought to be illegal."