From jgoldie @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Sat Apr 24 10:43:03 2004 Date: Sat, 24 Apr 2004 10:41:23 -0400 (EDT) From: Jillian G. Waldman Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: SWILnews Subject: SWILnews #10 (in bed) (Why don't we just call this SWILnews sleeps around? -g) (The pain! The agony! Shut up! -t) +---------------------------------+ | Anticipate chaos in your future | +---------------------------------+ (she's visiting? -g) (where the future is defined as 12:08 pm, last Saturday. It's only SWILmeeting. -v) +--------------------------------------------------+ | That which is pathetic may yet echo resoundingly | (in bed -t) +--------------------------------------------------+ (let this chocolate be like a Eucharist for Viva - Viva's mom) (in bed -t) (but she IS in bed! -t) (I'm out of double-sided tape. Could you open my drawer and get me the other roll? - t) (It's not a drawer, it's a drawer. (rendered in an inexplicable drawl) -g) (this tape? - v) (no, that's the regular tape. -t) (this tape? -v) (no, the other double-sided tape.-t) (is there a difference? -g) (yes, one's removable, the other isn't. -t) +-------------------------------------------------------------------+ | A SWILshirt, once ordered, will be your companion in time of need.| (in bed -v) +-------------------------------------------------------------------+ (you could wear it as a pajama shirt if you get it big enough -t) (true, very true -g) (could you pass me Viva? -t) +------------------------------------+ | Blake will be late to SWILmeeting. | +------------------------------------+ (Blake so deserves to be commemorated in a fortune cookie -v) (perpetually late -t) (no -g) (the perpetually makes more sense -t) (no, he isn't perpetually late. he's usually infinitely late -g) (in bed! -t) (I'm trying to slip something past you -g) (or you could write Spider-Man Green Goblin slash)(in bed! -g) (I hate you so much! Just die painfully! -t) (ow! ow! ow! -g) (what? -t) (I'm dying painfully -g) +-----------------------------------+ | Question your note-taking ability | (in bed -tgv) +-----------------------------------+ +-----------------------------------------------------------------+ | Do not meddle in the the affairs of Hunt wizards, for they are | | Andrew, Jackie, and Sarah. | +-----------------------------------------------------------------+ (in bed -t)(no. -g)(why can't Andrew, Jackie and Sarah be in bed? -v) (because that implies that they're only the hunt wizards when they're in bed -g) (Did anything important happen at meeting? -g) +---------------------------------------------+ | You shall make an accounting of your swords.| (in bed -g) +---------------------------------------------+ +---------------------------------------------------+ | Beware of blonde girls trying to steal your seat. | +---------------------------------------------------+ (Even if they are Greg. *Especially* if they are Greg. And you are Andrew. -v) (right at this point in meeting, I was flailing in the Crum -t)(wasn't that the next day? -g)(oh, right. right at this point, I was staring at students at Cabrini College and thinking they were really strange -t)(They were probably thinking the same thing about you -g) (you should be careful, or I'll fall asleep on your floor -g)(cool, that's a good precedent, and then you'll end up hooking up by the end of the semester -v) (are you trying to encourage something? -g) (mark, I love you, but I repeat: "eew! marksex!" -t)(this need not go in swilnews two weeks in a row. actually, if I'm saying that, it does -g) (I feel like I've just walked in on something -noda, entering the room) +-------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Without wheels, the printing press would never have been invented.| +-------------------------------------------------------------------+ +-----------------------------------------------------------+ | Beware Blake's convertible bearing the bug-eyed monsters. | (in bed -t) +-----------------------------------------------------------+ +---------------------------+ | Walpurgisnacht is coming | +---------------------------+ (Mark. Say it. -v) (in bed. -g) (Tomorrow, saturday the 24th, 8 pm. Bond. -v)(that would be today the 24th -g) (For those who don't know, Walpurgisnacht is a reading of stories of horror, fertility, and trees. -g) +---------------------------------+ | A thankless fool will buy food | -----------------------------------+ (has anyone *seen* Blake all day? -v) (no.-t) (well, yes, I saw him at lunch -g) +-------------------------------------------------+ | Beware those who Mawrtyr themselves for beauty. | (in bed -g) +-------------------------------------------------+ (that's just sick -t) (yeah. so in bed -noda) (very much in bed -g) (all of which was supposed to signify that Sarah is doing the board? -v) (*knock* -viva) (no! you're in bed -v) (no, this is good. I'm eating nutrients. -viva) (oh, that's what happened to my chocolate -viva) (she said it was the Eucharist Viva -t) (my name's in SWILnews? -viva) (yes. it appears first when your mom said you were the eucharist, which was the chocolate -v) (Can I not be the Eucharist? What does that mean? What does that make this Odwalla bar? -viva) (Viva, my mother didn't have any daughters. That means all my mom's Italian mothering skills were passed on to me. -noda) +------------------------------------------+ | The paternity test will come up negative | +------------------------------------------+ (that's what you get for so many 'in bed' comments -noda) (well, you see, we were talking about how we had to move George at the end of the semester. so then we realized we had to have a custodian of George, and people volunteered. Jerome will be George's custodian, and Greg will be George's legal guardian. Arthur was denied both, and wanted to be George's biological father. See above fortune for the results. -v) +-----------------------------------------+ | Join a hunting party. hunt(at)swil.org | +-----------------------------------------+ (you left Viva all over the floor -g) (that wasn't me. somebody else. probably noda -t) (I think Viva helped -noda) (that creates all sorts of issues. -g) (may we... indulge the trash can? -g) +--------------------------+ | Don't run with scissors | (in bed -g) +--------------------------+ (And that was collaging in the science center for last Saturday's Night SWIL -v) (Noda, we gush about the capital planning at some point. -g)(okay -noda)(what was that? I don't know what you're talking about -t)(Alright. Let's make this simple.What do we want? -g)(traaiiiiins -noda) (when do we want them? -g) (traiiiiins -noda) +----------------------------------------------+ | Inspiration provides Victoriana. | | Or was it 'Victoriana provides inspiration'? | +----------------------------------------------+ (this victoriana person is popular -noda) (in bed? -g) (I'm going to finish off Viva -g) (what did I miss? marksex again? -t) (nice box, though -g) (it is a really nice box -t) (oh god -noda) (and that was SWIL doing strange things to SFDT -v) (you know, I updated the SFDT page to reflect that they're discussing Ender's Shadow -noda) (oh, right, sfdt(at)swil.org is back on life support. -g) (@!!! what do you call them? -v) (shift - 2? -g) (what did they use them for before email? -t) (there's now morse code -noda) +-----------------------------+ | Good movies bring blessings | (in bed. -g) +-----------------------------+ (movie nominations at meeting on May 1st. Email presidents(at)swil.org to nominate movies if you're not going to be there. -g) +------------------------------------------------+ | The trickster god is tricksier than you think. | +------------------------------------------------+ (that was the only way to phrase that. -g) (in bed? -v) (the question is, what's that referring to. d'you know what I mean? -g) (Well, what do you want it to be referring to? -g) (tricksy godses -noda) (no, tricksy godseses. so it scans -g) (time travel to last saturday) (Are you sentient? -swil) (Yes - Loki, in a strange, digitally generated voice) (prove it! -swil) (Hello, foolish mortals. I am Loki, Norse trickster god, and all-around son of a bitch. I am here to prove my sentience. I am a god. Therefore, I am sentient. What, you need more? Fine, don't listen to the god. I'll prove that I really am Loki. First, I am the god of fire. When Jackie attempted to do something stupid with my power cord, such as use it, I billowed smoke at her. Second, I can transform into whatever I damn well please. Hence, the computer. Third, I am a trickster. If you've read Jackie's online journal, you'll know that already. For example, when Jackie got addicted to a web site, I refused to load that web site and only that web site. When she needed to install anti-virus software to get on the network, I refused to install anti-virus software. I pretended her C drive didn't exist, I pretended her printer didn't exist, I pretended her equation editor didn't exist, and so on. And when she tried to play back this speech, I spat very loud static at her. So. Am I sentient yet? -Loki) (no -swil) (Can we say it's sentient because Stephen Hawking is sentient? -swil) (Can you shapeshift? Loki ought to be able to shapeshift? -swil) (Yes. But I don't want to. -Loki) (can you change your voice? -swil) (I don't have to do what you mortals tell me to do -loki) (But, see, Loki is using Jackie's voice to get to Sam's body! therefore he must be sentient! -meredith) (*breaks* -noda) (Susan's stomach is the minimum standard of sentience, so if Loki contains food, it must be sentient -swil) (Listen, has Loki surfed the web? -swil) (Yes. -loki) (Sometimes. When he feels like it. -Jackie) (Then Loki contains cookies! And is thereford more sentient than susan's stomach! -swil) (Wait, but my stomach doesn't ocntain any cookies... -susan) (Exactly. -swil) (*dismembers Loki by taking his power button* -g) (/time travel to last saturday) +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | You just might win the lottery. | |(*whips out calculator* you know, I really ought to prove this thing | | sentient. though I don't know what that would do to its skill as a | | random number generator -g) | | lucky numbers: 33 45 19 50 4 | +------------------------------------------------------------------------+ (Eliza won hair in the lottery -g) (then she used it to try and strangle Andrew, we don't remember why. -g) (but then it ended up being the majority of JC's father's hair. -g) (and eventually ended up on her door. but that didn't happen during SWILmeeting -v) +---------------------------------------+ | It's not all about OfficialBusiness | (in bed -g) +---------------------------------------+ (mai's in bed -t)(make sure it says I said that very sleepily. but I'm not really.... mrw...-t) +---------------------------------------+ | Past events make interesting reading. | +---------------------------------------+ (that's good -t) (in a sick sort of way -g) (in bed? -v) (past events would include an Orchestra concert, Rhythm and Motion.. thing, a Gamelan concert, the "Saving Frodo" lecture at BMC, Boy Meets Tractor performance, Housing Lottery Bingo, Lawrence Lessig talk + online bookmobile -tgv) (I don't think the bookmobile actually made it. I think the transmission burned out in kansas -g) +-------------------+ | The future is now | +-------------------+ (now you're going to tell me what connection this has to JC's email diplomacy game -v)(well, I was going to include all the upcoming events here, only there aren't that many -g) (There's also Susan's desire to gather people and polish food and consume them. -v)(in bed -g) (was that really necessary? -v) (You also want to mention the Schickele lecture... -g) (3 pm, Lang, Sunday the 25th. -v) (arrive early, it'll fill -g)(we should do pre-lecture gaming in the hall -g) (And there's a contra on Walpurgisnacht, 7 to 10 pm, Upper Tarble -tgv) (the SWIL Walpurgisnacht, not the real one. We get to do this because BMC's May Day isn't on the real May Day -v) (Ben wants to go see Hellboy this weekend. -v) +------------------------------------+ | Don't attempt the Demonic Trifecta | +------------------------------------+ (what's the demonic trifecta? -t) (it was Eye of Argon, Star Wars Holiday Special, and .. -g) (something... what was it? -v) (a DU party? what now? -g) (Purple Joke! -v) (what's the purple joke? it's just a shaggy dog story, right? -t (sleepily)) (no, a purple dog story -v) (once upon a time there was a purple dog and on this purple dog there lived some purple fleas... -g) (Tall is telling the Blue Joke. I wish I'd started writing when she started talking. But it begins 'a man was walking in the forest...' -v) +----------------------------------+ | Anticipate Chaos in your future | +----------------------------------+ (I was going to use something different: +--------------------------------------+ | You will find true love on Flag Day | -g ) +--------------------------------------+ (Alumni weekend is going to happen. Prime and John's wedding is June 5, 11 am in the Friends' Meeting House.-tgv) (Tall is still telling the Blue Joke -v) (Tall is still telling the Blue Joke -v) +---------------------------+ | Spend Time among friends | (in bed!! -v) +---------------------------+ (Tall is still telling the Blue Joke -v) ATTENDANCE LIST OF REAL FOOD ! Meredith "95% off book sale! Eeeee!" Conforti Brown (what book sale? the what? huh? oh, at the library. -t) M. Jawaad "Happiness is a warm gun." Hussain (in bed -g) (let's try not to abuse this -g) (in bed? -v) (precisely -g) Michael "Redesignate the Capitol Baltway I-666!" Noda (is that a factorial? -v) John "Spirals are fun @ " Finkbiner (in bed? -gnoda) Loki "SWILnews #whatever has flown the coop" Jackie "Loki's bitch" Werner (in bed -t (from bed, and possibly without having heard the title)) Samuel "I wish there were a minor in Star Trek Studies" Jenkins Blake "Hamiltonian Mechanics Will Eat Your Soul" Setlow (oh, I should do quantum -v) Kate "Banjos CAN be OK" O'Brien (oh, we have the parents! -v)(in bed -g) Mike ? Whose daddy Setlow Pae Mommy Nurse Setlow benjamin 'ZWIK!!!' r, george JC "6 weeks of Sharples food!" Ravage ALAN (Regressive time-traveler-siderealspecalius) Ravage Ben "HuntCon 4" Newman Jerome "Wow... I finally have a SWIL title!" (in bed -g) (you know what the difference is between this presidency and the previous one? -v) (what? -g) (in the previous one, you would've gotten slapped for that -v) (*smack* -g) Susan "Really, they feed us this gruel everyday!" Zell Eliza "Primum Mobile" Blair Alex "It will not be outside, there will not be a fire. Mark is just not fun." Pshenichkin (this was about the oh-so-sexy idea of having Walpurgisnacht in the ruins, reading by firelight -v) (Damn straight. I'm not fun -g) (crossed out)Greg. "I(/crossed out) G-Man "I was of aid in writing Swil Infodump #Ocho!" Robinson Sarah "Why is there a buffalo on my mug?" Sarah Debbie "Rachels sister" Sapiro Rachel "And yet I'm eating the same things I always do" Sapiro (in bed -v) (thank you -g) Arthur "I'm my own mother" Chu Nelson "I never saw a purple pen" Pavlosky Liz "Meredith's sister (who has girlier hands)" Brown MARK "GAS LEEK?" HANDLER Jillian "HELP! James Thorton stuck in a Vacuum Chamber" Waldman (in bed -g) (Tall is still telling the Blue Joke -gv) (she's also asleep -g) (in bed -v) +---+ |TGV| +---+