Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 16:37:49 -0500 (EST) From: Jillian G. Waldman Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: SWIL List: ; Subject: SWILnews #3: The One That Got Away Meeting was called to order at the start of the afternoon watch. SWIL-Bass-ness The rabble were pathetic. _Equal Rights_ was donated to the Cod-wainer Fish Library. Andrew requested books be nomintated to complete currently incomplete series, but not Xanth. (He named his series after himself. That's kind of fishy. -t) (That's Fishing Pier-s Anthony -g) (You're going to thwap me for that aren't you. I never thought I'd sink that low. -t)(UGH -gv) Andrew served as Sam's proxy. Sam gave him important documents to bring to meeting, which are preserved for your enjoyment at: www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring04/samletter.jpg www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring04/sam.jpg (If you haven't guessed it yet, the archives are at www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring04/ -v) Susan suggested prop for Buffy, thus proving her worth. "See Buffy. See Buffy Slay. Slay, Buffy, Slay!" JC suggested that all prop be done now. The physical firewall obstructing the SCCS (Swarthmore Carp Containment Society -g) was voted to be taken down. (Free little fishies, free! -g) (Burn little fishies, burn! -v) (Slay little fishies, Slay! -t) The Kegger will not happen in March. The kegger will not happen in April. Look for it to happen the last weekend in February, assuming a suitable still pool can be found. It was voted to get both root beer and birch beer, assuming they're available. If the SCCS lounge were flooded, then a piece of equipment that had previously been hung from the ceiling before being dislodged by the bass from a Paces party would have gone down to Davy Jones's locker. But it's not flooded. Yet. The SFDT (Saltwater Fish Death Trap -t) will meet at 5.30 on Tuesdays upstairs in Sharples. Science Fiction and Fantasy will be discussed. Speakers will be discussed here too. (Somewhere in here we need to make an ark joke -t)(The whole SWILNews is one long arc -g) People volunteered to prop buildings. JC will prop Lake Parrish. Jackie will prop the Sea of ML. Nick will prop Hicks River the Straits of Tarble. (Clothier don't you mean? -v) The rabble raised a roe over subtext and Star Trek. There is interest in Abby's Speculative Fiction workshop. This week's Saturday Night SWIL is violent games, 9 PM ML. Last week's Saturday Night SWIL was word games. Among many suggestions, Susan suggested Horror Stories. (The fish that ate Manhattan? -g) Benitez was awarded a gold star. T-shirt submissions will be due by the first meeting after Spring Break. That's March 20th, for those of you keeping score at home. Voting will be the following meeting, March the 27th. SENTIENCE PROOFS: Michael Stewart Cohen claimed to be sentient. Only actually he said that he wasn't sentient. He claimed that anyone who lived with his mom couldn't be sentient. Also, he said that at 12 O'clock last night (That's the start of Middle Watch) he was killing embryonic chickens. (Which look a lot like embryonic fish -t) (Which look a lot like embryonic porcupines -v) (Which look a lot like embryonic pufferfish -g) (They're also called porcupine fish -t). Mike claimed that his awareness that he wasn't sentient made him sentient. "The wise man knows how much he doesn't know." Nick asked about pi in his circular proof. Mark pointed out that Mike, head to toe, is a diameter of a circle 6'1" * pi in circumference. Abby said that he was evil be because he quoted Socrates. (Why does that make him evil? -t) (Because Socrates is evil. -v) (I like Socrates -t) (But he was the world's most obnoxious man -v) (I still like Socrates -t) Andrew demanded that Mike drink hemlock, and if he lived, he would be sentient. Mike didn't want to. Therefore, he was smarter than Socrates, and thus sentient. It was then voted that Socrates was not sentient. (No, that wasn't a comment. I just don't trust you at all -t). Sarah Louise Hartman said that we were all familiar with Ents. JC said that we were also familiar with what they ent. JC was smacked. She went on to say that ents were sentient because they were e-fish-ent herders of trees. They must understand trees to be able to care for them, therefore they are sentient. She proposed that she was an ent. She is most definately a plant because she needs light and water. She can understand and manipulate people because she stole Susan's cupcake. She has been said to be un-hasty. "You are the least hasty person I know" - Anna Patterson. Mark took Nick's light, turned the lights off, and Sarah moved towards the light. Jonathan did too, but Jonathan is not a tree. (What is he then? -t) Someone said she was a proto-Indo-European tree because she was wearing a green shirt with branches (the hideous linguistics shirt. RUN AWAY!! -tgv) Noda said that she could be a tree on the contingency that she transfer and be in the Arboretum. Treebeard is in New Zealand looking for Entwives, we should return her to him. (Australia has the Great Barrier Reef -t) (*Blank Stare* -g) (It's fish. -t) She was asked if she liked walking South. She said yes, because it was walking away from Brecon. It's possible to walk to Brecon both ways uphill. (Escher's revenge -g). So, she likes walking downhill, therefore she likes walking south. Therefore she's an ent, therefore she's sentient. Ben is currently in Susan's lap. Abby asked for the Order of the Phoenix. We would confer it upon her, but she doesn't work for it (the Phoenix). We conferred upon Jackie the title of Master, Mistress, and Dominatrix of Subtext. Susan swam off with the lottery. She won a mug within a mug. Non-SWIL-Bass-ness Sam is a weekly interacting massive particle because he is no longer showing documentaries. Andrew is showing 10th Kingdom, SC101, Sundays at 2.30. People should get SCCS accounts. Abby talked about Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. ' will be here the 21st. There's a Roundsing Friday (gee, that's today) at 7 PM. The meeting was called to order at the third bell of the afternoon watch. Attendance List of Bayesian Potato Filtering (keeps the tank water clean, of course -g) Andrew "High Priest of Awesomeism" Conforti Brown (Loser -t) Felony "Meow Meow Meow Meow..." Conforti Brown Abby "How much you wanna bet I can make Nick cry?" Bashir-Paris-Tucker Friedman Nick "No matter what you say or do to me, I am still a slash-free person!!" Ward (You know, I don't think you'd do that to your powerbook keyboard -g) Jerome "Bwum! Fwonk! Dwum! [vibrating drum head] Look out for the Bessel functions!" Fung (Nooooooooooo! -v) M. Jawaad "Party Like it's 1999." Hussain Michael "Boneless Cat. It's what's for dinner" Noda (better than deboning a trout on a daily basis -g) Ben "I am a fuzzy purple hat" Thuryoni (So do we count this as being a third consecutive meeting, or does Ben Thuryoni need to come to two more before proving sentience? -g) Michael "I am Blair's eye drops" Stone Blair "Yay for sun and blue sky!" Reaser Susan "Hello" Zell Sarah "Why would Death have a cell phone?" Hartman (so in case he crashes his car, he can call for aid? -g) Alexandr "Fearsome Cubed Warrior" Pshenichkin (next to the bacon bits and the tomatoes on the salad bar -g) JC "Benito Mussolini" Ravage (OK, definately not playing WWII Diplomacy with you -g) ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION OF JACKIE WERNER (Because the rest of the time she looks like slash -v) (The lead guitarist for Guns N' Roses? -g) Ethan "Dragged Out of bed by Blake" Jucovy (See above comment -g) Blake "Has a Hockey Stick" Setlow (Or are you just happy to see someone -g) Samuel 'Don't you dare write down a nickname disrespecting the 'Star Trek' science-fiction theatre' Jenkins (by proxy) Michael "Yay. I'm going to be sentient!" Cohen Eliza "Emperor Fabulous" Blair (Wouldn't that be Empress? -g) Jonah "Too innocuous to think of his own nickname, and lucky the Presidents aren't too creative" Sinick OVER |_\ / David "To the moon! To the moon!" A. Benitez Mai "Does whatever a spider can!" Pucik MARK "BRINGER OF CANDY CANES" HANDLER Jillian "bringer of small yellow notebooks" Waldman The 300 km/h through the Chunnel presidency Tail, Gills, Ventral