From abrown1 @ swarthmore.edu Thu Mar 18 20:46:24 2004 Date: Fri, 19 Mar 2004 01:22:11 -0000 From: Andrew B Conforti To: presidents @ swil.org Subject: Re: SWILNews SWILnews #6 is Pentacostal SWILBUSINESS: The meeting was called to [utopia] at 12:07 p.m. The rabble was more [shiny] than usual. Meanwhile, Jackie and Benitez proved their [papality] by propping properly. As a reward, they earned [ninja]. Benitez [created] a stuffed Dust Mite animal, and Jackie [disenfranchised] the Black Death. Arthur requested Herpes. We suggest that Arthur be [detracheated]. The moral of the story is, [remove]! The kegger was [Brobdingnagian] from 10-2 two weeks ago, on the 28th of February. Thanks to everyone who came early to help [conceive] it. Special thanks to those who volunteered to help shop for supplies, including Susan, and Blake and Jerome, who got the Keg. Nick requested that people who hadn't yet activated their SCCS account follow him to [a broom closet] to get them [killed]. Susan died, and Jerome [ordered] her on the rear. We're not sure why Susan died. The threat of being [deboned] by Arthur, or [ground] in grease revived her. Saturday Night [Elizabeth] ideas, for future reference: Hitchhiker Radio Script reading Storyreadings Demonic Triathlon (consisting of [chanting], [washing], and summoning [Queen Victoria] from the ninth circle of [Penn Station].) Saturday Night [Elizabeth] on March 20th will be card games, probably in [Niskayuna] Parlours. Sarah Hartman has been awarded the title, "Swarthmore Class of 2006", or SC-06 for short. Due to lack of heavy artillery, Susan was not canonized. She felt very [Schadenfreude] about this. It was decided that, in order to be declared St. Susan of Swarthmore, Martyr, she would have to become a Mawrtyr. She could have done this easily, by becoming part of Swarthmore Class of 2006, but she needed to get her sophomore [post-it note] written and approved. Her canonization is postponed, pending her advisor's approval of her plan to major in Cthulhu Studies. Her sophomore paper is available for your [dandling] pleasure at http://www.swil.org/SWILnews/Spring04/StSusan.gif. The Swarthmore College Class of 2006 won the [Life] and received [mashed potatoes]. Designs for the 2004 SWILshirt are due at next meeting, March 20th, or by email to presidents @ swil.org by midnight the night before. NON-SWILBUSINESS: Andrew [ate] 10th Kingdom episodes at 2:30, Sunday, in Science Center 199. Jim invited everyone to play frisbee golf with him after meeting. Andrew wrote incoherent things in the notes. Civ was planned, and occurred over break. This was Ben's idea; oddly enough, he didn't get to play. There was gaming after meeting, at 3 p.m. On March 17th, they opened the NJ River LINE. People like Jimmosk, Mark, Chris, and Noda rode on it. ATTENDANCE LIST OF [Jedojid] Andrew "You Are Not [Miriam Newman]" Conforti Brown Greg "You (^) Are Not [Jerome Fung]" Robinson Jim "You (^) are not the One Who Was" Moskowitz JC "The laws of histowical inewitability" Ravage Eliza "Theophrastus Bombastus von Hohenheim, AKA Paraclesus" Blair Alexandr "" Pshenichkin Sarah "[snkkkkkkkkkkk]" Hartman St. Susan of Swarthmore, Patron Saint of [heathen] [hells] Jerome "LET'S GO BALLISTIC!..." [Wolfson] James "Big [teeth]" Brady Ben "[KapWING]" Newman Arthur "JUST DECREASED MY [bulge] SIZE" Chu [John] "Largest Population of Nurds Outside of Nurdtopia" Ward JC "See? Histowicawwy inewitabwe. I'm hewe again." Ravage [Harvey] "[Fascinate] now!" Jager Rachel "Soon to be elsewhere" Sapiro Michael "Insert [upper arm] A into light socket B" Noda Ben "My opinions are not [pontal]!" Thuroni Thuryoni Thuronyi Miriam "Stealing from [New Dorm]" Newman Blair "Big Brother isn't watching me, but I'm keeping an eye on him" Reaser [Jefferson] "Neither ultimate nor penultimate" Setlow Michael "Supposedly one of many [microphones], but the only one in here right now who actually a [microphone]..." Cohen David "Cantankerous Capybara Man" Alejandro Benitez* | _0_ /_| | \ / \ [Venti] [Tall] [Grande] * This footnote implies subtext. Signing out, Tall, Grande, and Venti, [The Antidote to Civilization]! --