/***************/ /* SWILNews #2 */ /***************/ //SWILNews Hunter// /*********************/ /* This Week in SWIL */ /*********************/ This is a brand new bouncing baby section! 1) Gaming, 4pm Saturday, Parlors. Parlor Game TBA. 2) Movie Next Monday : Diamonds Are Forever 3) There are still a couple of victron spots left for the Massacre. If you desperately want to be a waitron, e-mail Death [mhandle1]. 4) The St. Valentine's Day Massacre will happen Friday, February 14th at 6pm in Sharples. 5) The SWIL Root Beer Kegger will happen Saturday, February 22nd in Paces. People interested in DJ-ing or otherwise helping out should e-mail Death [mhandle1]. /****************/ /* SWILBusiness */ /****************/ Croikey! Did you see that? Considering the size of that Western Sharples Rabble, it was surprisingly unpathetic! I'll have to bring some of me closest mates along to flush it out of the underbrush. Bloimey! It nearly took me head off with that salt shaker! Submit to BEM! These wild Bug-Eyed Magazines will sneak right up on you with their deadlines, and since they only come out of hiding once a year, you'd better be ready on February 28th with your stories, art, and poetry! Nominate books, you stupid illiterate people! How can we catch anything if you can't blinking read? In geological time, it's always March! Croikey! I've never seen such carnage in all me life! Since last St. Valentine's Day, at any rate. Careful, mates - there might still be a few thugtrons lurking about. At this rate, more victrons could be needed to rebalance the ecosystem. And speaking of carnage, there's a ferocious Comma-Hating James Morrow. Very rare, they are. It's a real treat to see one outside of captivity. Talk to Ben Newman [bnewman @ sccs] to get involved with setting up a panel of authors and professors. Whenever I get back from a long expedition into the bush, I love to kick back with me mates and have a pint of root beer. Join me for a special episode in two weeks, on February 22nd at 10 (9 central), live from the depths of the SWIL Root Beer Kegger! Croikey! Did you see that? Qian wished It a happy new year! Now, I've been known to stick my head into the gaping maw of a huge croc, but that's just plain crazy! /***********/ /* Lottery */ /***********/ If you had to choose between snagging a rare Keychain Light Lizard and an even rarer Wind-Up Spotted Owl Remember viewers, if you want a chance to win some of the rarest creatures in the animal kingdom, you need to blinking show up to meeting in a timely fashion! /********************/ /* Non-SWILBusiness */ /********************/ Croikey! Qian's mouth is full of brownie! I certainly hope those little morsels are vegan; the Wild Qian is a natural predator of those helpless little chocolate squares. I love to sit by the trail side and eat a handful of candies while waiting for the nocturnal creatures to come out and play. Me mate back home Jim [jim @ jimmosk.com] will have a candy-tasting on Friday at 7:30pm in his flat. I wish I could be there, but I need to hunt down some baby crocs. There's nothing quite like a good story... and even better than that is a whole pack of good stories! We'll try to corner one out in the open on Saturday the 15th in Parlors. I prize meself on my marksmanship... that's why I love one-shots! War [jravage1] will be hosting one of these on Sunday, February 9th. Assuming we make it through the week alive, characters will be provided. I've also spotted a few beauts this week in my explorations: -Chick peas are not a part of applesauce! -Applesauce is the subject of the. -Nick is carrying Elliot's Love Child! -Death killed Fun at SWILMeeting. -Time's name is not Nicholas Ward. -Jonathan's new name is Dopey Galoshes. -JC's velum will be surgically stapled down so that he can only pronounce his nasals. -Rachel very narrowly escaped Death by Jonathan. -Jonathan's is rubber, you're glue, things bounce off him and stick to you. Me mate Ben Newman [bnewman @ sccs] has spotted a filksing at a nearby home next Saturday day. Have a chat with him to find out more. That's the end of our show, mates! Death called the meeting to death, but Time stopped time and called it to order. /*******************/ /* Attendance List */ /*******************/ //The Attendance List of Having a Wocket in Your Pocket Qian "Paleolithic man ate 250 gld!" Qian benjamin "geological time forever!" r, george Rachel "The second Saturday like the second Adar: there is SWIL meeting" Sapiro ~Sam "Kawegger Megitty" Crane Ben "an indestructible metallic alloy" Newman Kyra "These are man-eating plums. That's right; they eat humans!" Jucovy JC "Corwin of Amber" Ravage Arthur "Asexual Reproduction" Chu Jonathan "Welcome to Lodge Setlow" Schneider Elliot's "Nick, you're carrying" Love-child Nick "Not NicHolas" Ward Mark "Garbanzo-Hater" Handler /***************************/ /* Corrections/Retractions */ /***************************/ -What we referred to as "Snazz, the Drink with Buzz" is in fact "Harvey's Own Snazzz RED, Refreshing Carbonated Beverage, The Drink With Buzzz!!!". Our apologies to those poor orphaned Zs, and all fans of HOSRRCBTDWB!!! -Ethan Sherrard's name is in fact Ethan Sherrard, not Ethan Skerrard. -No smackings were nested in the last SWILNews. We promise to end false advertising before it starts! -Upon further review, 2 + 2 = 5. /******************/ /* Smacking Stats */ /******************/ //This Week// ___|_d_|_t_|_w_|tot| _d_|_X_|_1_|_2_|_3_| _t_|_4_|_X_|_3_|_7_| _w_|_2_|_1_|_X_|_3_| tot|_6_|_2_|_5_|_13| Most Smacks: Time Most Smacked: Death //Spring '03// ___|_d_|_t_|_w_|tot| _d_|_X_|_7_|_7_|_14| _t_|_7_|_X_|_7_|_14| _w_|_5_|_8_|_X_|_13| tot|_12|_15|_14|_41| Most Smacks: Death & Time Most Smacked: Time /***********/ /* The End */ /***********/ Thanks to all of my special guests this evening, especially Lisa, Blake, and me, The Crocodile Hunter. Endangering Species since January 2003, The Mark of Death, The Nick of Time, and the Ravage of War