*** Movie List *** Gattaca -- No need to read Brave New World! Come see this! Neverwhere -- It's not five hours, we swear! Beowulf / Wallace and Grommit -- Not clay! Clay! Together! Labyrinth -- Find your way to this movie! It's a-maze-ing! Brazil -- Everyone says this is the best sci-fi movie they've ever seen. None of us have ever seen it, though. Ghostbusters -- What's their extension, again? Soylent Green -- It's made out of ! Muppets from Space -- Two words... cosmic fish! The Fifth Element (Boron! -h) -- And you thought there were just four! Court Jester -- You'll laugh! He gets paid if you do! Orlando -- All the fun without any of the big scary Disney people! Killer Tomatoes Eat France! -- Who needs it?! Solarbabies -- Underwater reservoirs! No, wait! Underground reservoirs! Escaflowne -- Not in Leonard Maltin's movie guide! Grave of the Fireflies -- Not there either, but Historian owns it! Yes, it's depressing. Shut up. Alternates: Flight of the Navigator -- If you'll note, your Kirby seat can also be used as a flotation device! (But I sit on the ground! -s) Beetlejuice -- Chock full of vitamin C! Vampire Hunter D -- A, B, and C were on vacation. *** SWILBusiness *** There was disorder. We had a moment of silence for Douglas Adams, who passed away on Friday, May 11. May 25 is Towel Day. Return Birdwainer books now. Like, today. It's easier to return them than to pack them! Rachel won a fishing game. (She bought that one hook, line, and sinker. -h) (I'd like to go fishing right now. I'd like to do anything rather than take these finals. -d) (Wait, someone besides Darkness is making puns, and Darkness isn't! -g) (No, he's busy thinking my sea otter is grabbing a polar bear's head. -s) *** Sentience Proof *** Katrina Mergen was voted sentient since she decided not to talk about post-modern theory. We were all very grateful. (And she has a black fedora. -g) *** Senior Remembrances *** Note: The years in referred to in the rememberances are all on "senior time," so if it says 'did x with y sophomore year" that refers to the senior's sophomore year, not y's sophomore year. *** Remembrance Song of 2001 *** --- To the tune of What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor? --- What do you do when Katrina's leaving (3x) Graduation morning? Buy her some leather and she'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do when Catherine's leaving (3x) Graduation morning? Find her N'Sync and she'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do when Jimmy's leaving (3x) Graduation morning? Show anime and he'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do when Jeffner's leaving (3x) Graduation morning? Get something purple and she'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do with a leaving Kyla (3x) Graduation morning? Give her a stake and she'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do when Ben is leaving (3x) Graduation morning? Filk him a song and he'll be happy (3x) Graduation morning. What do you do with leaving seniors (3x) Graduation morning? Remember them in a song this sappy (3x) One Saturday morning. *** Katrina Mergen *** Remember when Katrina was dismembered? It seems so long ago... When Kyla first met, it was Kyla's first time at Folk Dance and she thought, "Hey, there's a girl named Katrina, okay."... When Borgel first met her, she was walking through the lounge in ML and heard, "Come to the Dark Side; I have Highlander!"... She gave JC a job... Crum horn this, Crum horn that (Crum Horns are instruments that sound, according to Katrina, "like a dying kazoo. They sound terrible alone, but if you play about 5 of them in harmony, they sound really good."... She doesn't play Shostakovich... Troll story: Katrina was sick and on about 14 different medications and hadn't eaten in ages, so she was hungry and dizzy and everything was fuzzy. She went to make herself food, and reached up to get a ceramic bowl from the shelf, and it "fell and broke in half and one half bounced up a slit my wrist" (yeah, suuuure, Katrina. -s) so she was tired and dizzy and hungry and losing blood. She went to wake her parents, but it was 3am, and they told her to wait until the morning because she wouldn't bleed to death in the meantime. Time passes... she took sleeping pills which apparently cause her to hallucinate because the next thing she knows there's a troll on her bed. It doesn't *look* evil -- in fact, it's sort of looking kind of worried -- but it's a troll, so she doesn't acknowledge it or move or anything, just lays in bed staring back at it. After about a half-hour, the troll becomes her mother... When Gold first met Katrina, Katrina found a room with many old instruments... Once Katrina was wondering what to wear to the Goth party, and Hollis said, "I have one word for you -- Paint!" and Katrina eeked, and still does to this day (Paint! -g) (Paint! -s) (Paint! -d) (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! -katrina)... When a sophomore, she had an emrgency single love nest in ML... The week after Raoul arrived at Swat, she took him to Tom Jones for bad food, and he won her heart by actually eating a creamy crabcake (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek! -s)... She took Ben to Tom Jones once; he ordered a non-sliced hard-boiled egg and received a sliced hard boiled egg that was so rubbery, it worked as an eraser... She forced Kyra to let her safewalk her back to Woolman... Took people to Dunkin Donuts at 3 in the morning. The first one didn't have the new days batch of donoughts, the second one was closed, but the third Dunkin Donuts was just right (Someone's been eating my porridge... -s)... She dated the Messiah... You cannot kill anyone in her car, or have mad passionate sex, but she does have a vibrating car seat. Once, she gave people lifts to/from Boston, and there were so many returning to Swat that Arcadia's shoulder ended up underneath the vibrating car seat (um... -gsd)... When she gave Stone a jumpstart, it took 4 guys an hour to figure out how to do it, proving our friends are dorks and not men (hey! -d)... Has on occasion shown Franzi-grade Martial Arts Porn, such as "Spiritual Kung Fu"... Rearranged her TV for other people's viewing benefit, but the antenna kept dropping so she'd crawl under her bed and find things like her toothbrush... Thinks Al Bloom is a duck (Does he quack? -s) (Of course he quacks, he's a duck! -g) (Hey, Darkness, do you want to buy a Swat President? -s) (No. -d)... 1st semester this year, she told Sam Crane which alums-she-didn't-know not to date, such as *CENSORSHIP*... Bounces... Walks by Rebecca P's room, says "Aah!" and keeps walking... Often says, "Argh!"... Has had many small, furry animals (ferret, chinchilla, rat, guinea pig)... When stressed, becomes a muffin... Has a stuffed Eeyore to squeeze when stressed. *** Catherine Osborne *** On Kyla's hall frosh year, the whole hall ate dinner together one night, and when they were leaving Sharples someone mentioned cold pizza, so Kyla started singing Cold Pizza for Breakfast and Catherine joined in, so Kyla knew she was awesome (o/~ Cold Piz-za for breakfast... -s) (It's a song *title* -d) (I'm still awesome. -s)... Frosh year, she was one of the 3 Graces along with Kyla and Jennifer... Reason Stone joined SWIL -- had dinner with Catherine at SWIL table, and everone said, "You're fun, you should come to meeting tomorrow."... Drove late night shuttle shifts frosh year with lots of Indigo Girls music... Co-wizarded the Hunt her frosh year with Joel & Melissa... Went to NY with Chaos spring of frosh year to see a play and they were annoyed by Chaos' mother asking lots of questions about Chelsea Clinton, and Catherine very politely didn't respond to Chaos' mom's friend's comments about "theatre," and had trouble remembering to call Chaos "Elizabeth" in front of her mother... Fall semester frosh year, was roommates with someone she successfully scared away from Swat... Vodka and Grape Juice... When she swings (in dance) she leans back and smiles, and DanB briefly fears dropping her... Her art history advice: "Sex and religion. That's all it is."... A month into school frosh year, asked Kyla to live with her in the Quint as sophomores... Christmas Parties... As a b-day present her frosh year, Joe got her handcuffs, a rubber chicken, and a can of whipped cream... Excellent director -- reason Kyla did theater at Swat; brought BDan into theater on R&G Are Dead... Soph. year, was the SWILperson who showed up in non-SWIL areas, and Robert didn't know SWIL yet and wondered why SWIL was everywhere... Sat next to Rachel S. in Greek all year... Kyra first really spoke with her when it was snowing. Kyra couldn't get down the hill to Sharples without falling, because her shoes had no traction, so Catherine and a friend held her up all the way downhill... In Sacred & Social, she was worried that since Alastair was in the class she'd think about sex all the time, but Heather advised her to look at DuPlessy's beard, because it was nice a professorial, and it was all good... Eileen volunteered to make apple pie for the Ball Tea, and it didn't work, but Catherine rescued it... Co-ran Ball Tea for 4 years... Cooking lemon squares, brownies, and yummy tart... Obsessed with N'Sync; dragged Kyla in and the two are slowly trying to take over Stone's soul... Lost N'Sync game to Chaos's strategy of always picking "c"... Told us about ArmageddN'Sync... Last summer Eileen was in France with her family, and hoping to meet Jennifer, and Catherine happened to be in Paris, so Jennifer went to visit Catherine but they forgot to give Eileen a phone number or a time to meet, and were just about to give up and leave when Eileen knocked on the door... Amazing goddess who drove 8 hours to pick up Kyla and take her to Swat junior year... Went with Kyla to Falling Water and back in one day... Sentience Proof: the presidents were Abort, Retry & Ignore. Catherine had a symbiotic relationship with her computer -- she gave it power, and it gave her e-mail and solitaire. When you meet someone for the first time, you exchange names. The first thing Catherine's computer said to her was Abort, Retry, Ignore. Therefore Catherine's computer was a president. Through the symbiotic relationship, Catherine was a president too, and since the presidents had to be sentient, she was sentient as well... Joe asked her if she was going to be a math major, since her sentience proof showed mathematical abilitiy... First Nexus of Unrequited Love... Late night tea... Depressing Boy Law: All the good ones are taken, dead, fictional, or gay. *** Jennifer Tyson *** No memory... Met Kyla in a discussion section... Bad radio timeslots, but a good radio voice. Takes on a slight Irish/Scottish accent... Lived with Xanthi in the big room of the Quint... Slinging Xanthi over her shoulder and hauling her off to bed... Tickling... Rosie... Room of the Rats in the Quint, also the Room of Much Bitching... Mask of Looooove... Stinking Hellabore... Massive singalong sessions in her room... Attempted to teach Catherine & Kyla basic guitar chords on her guitar, George (George is a guitar? That would explain our space problems... -s)... Catherine has been borrowing her big pasta pot for 3 years... Loves everything Italian... "Come visit me in Belgium!"... Catherine went to visit her in Belgium at her absolute dirtiest, with no shower and no clean clothes, and Jennifer still acted the perfect hostess... Handled Rosie's death and post-mortem home of the ML freezer quite well... Sam C. met Rosie as a spec, and decided she wanted to live in ML... Taught JC how to turn off the radio equipment... "Come dance!"... Workout freak... Generous with houses; maxing out library cards... Military brat... NPR's patriotic messages in Belgium... Started Stone on Harry Potter... Dorknugget... entertained Chaos frosh year by playing guitar and singing folk songs while Chaos packed... Frosh year, roommate with another Jennifer in the smallest double known to mankind... Always beats people up, including her dogs... Deep-seated violent streak -- "No! She likes it!" (in reference to dog...)... Lived in same room Junior and Senior year... 4th best number in Junior class; first Junior to pick a room. *** Jimmy Kong *** Excellent miniprop... Jan/Feb: lent Catherine his portable CD burner, and she managed to burn CDs despite mishaps and snow... Pikachu!... Knows real anime, and shows it... Artist -- drew logo for SWILCon99 and for SWILshirt sophomore year... Saved other miniprops when they didn't do stuff until the last minute... Always had more than one kind of prop, because he couldn't remember the copycode and wanted to minimize his spending... Even after retirement as Miniprop, did the anime propping... Grass Jelly Drink... Japanese leechy flavored Jello blobs... Fell for the Jello & Pepper trick his senior year 3 times in one meal... Lost the Battle of the Miniprops, despite cute insult... Geoffrey Chaucer sentience proof, with sex and chickens... Evangeleon series & movies: "That movie made no sense" for 1 hour... He's cool... We like him... Reason for the different anime movie that starts with P joke pre-Princess Mononoke showing... Magic player. *** Kyla Tornheim *** Stone's fellow Buffy freak... Worst work habits ever... Lived next door to Catherine frosh year... Along with Joe, threw fruit loops in Catherine's cleavage (Um? -g) (Not going there. Just... not going there... -s)... Road trop with Hacking Joe and Coughing Catherine... Being scared by DanB in the bathroom... Remembered DanB likes steak and pasta... Frosh year roommates with Crystal Akers, potential cause of many Josh Smith numbers among the debate crowd... SWIL presidency included such themes as the SWILNews of Differential Equations and the paper SWILNews... Wrote SWILNews in such exciting places as Shuttle One and the Bad-Ass Minivan of Doom... Possible originator of the "Give random people initials and have them come write SWILNews" tren... Kept Chaos company at Ren Faire sophomore year, when Chaos had stayed up too late the night before but had to go anyway because she was driving the van... Awesome collection of daggers and metal roses... Came up with the names Cloak and Dagger after many, many weeks of consternation and uncreativity on the part of both Chaos and Kyla... Barely set foot in ML her frosh year, then lived there the next 3 years... Watched the Cutting Edge despite have Hollis, Megan and Stone whispering every single line around her... Co-organized the SWIL seder for 3 years... Over fall break, switched Matt & Ross's stuff around... Was Stone's Spike for Screw... Wears backpack under her cloak, leading to BDan being mistaken for Kyla on occasion... Short! (hee-hee -gsd)... Nifty-colored backpack... Diana Wynne-Jones fan with Kyra, who introduced her to the mailing list only to discover she'd made a list of every piece of literature mentioned in every e-mail, so that she could read them all... Stage Managed and/or Assitant Directed all of Catherine's plays... Endless source of funny quotes... Christened What the Fuck ice cream... Corrupted by Catherine -- for example, frosh year was arguing with roommate Crystal, and they turned and asked Catherine for her opinion on oral sex... Funny faces... During _Arcadia_ said "Shit!" instead of quoting the play... Visited Stone in NY over Winter Break, then took her back to Boston with her... Went to First Night 2000, but had to stop and put on all 20 zillion of her buttons... Bean bag chair... Corrupted by Catherine to listen to N'Sync... Cuts hair... Stayed up all night with Catherine last night sophomore year, and cut her hair at 3am... Provides running commentary of other drivers... Movie marathons... Showings of TV shows meant John could spend time with Gold... "Oh thank-you. I was depressed, but now Happy Bulimic Llama has regurgitated my nose." Hauled to Folk Dance and SWIL by Catherine frosh year... Part of group early frosh year which played frisbee in the 5th floor Parrish lounge... Bot into SWIL because of Joel, who fixed her computer... Big crush on Jesse Wells frosh year, and one day came home to find people had altered her computer so that the alert sound was now the song "Jesse's Girl"... Treasurer of SWIL one year, and Folk Dance two years... Sophomore year, Catherine got together with Liz Nikrenz in the early am, and woke Kyla to tell her about it, and then the next day had to tell Kyla all over again because she'd forgotten... Was an Opportunity at the dinner table... Pick her up and spin her around... Frosh year infuriated everyone by not being ticklish... Saved Will when he had to write his thesis and took him to NEFFA so that he coculd write while she drove... Cantatrix... Her limb is being held in trust by Comma until she returns all the limbs of the classes of 2003 and 2004 for their future remembrances. *** Ben Newman *** Had a 3 hour conversation about a social diffusion game with JC... Long list of uninvented games... Many long talks with BDan until 3,4, or 7 in the morning... When Borgel arrived, she was warned about the amazingly dangerous SWILlie with the fanny pack, and then after meeting she wondered who had a fanny pack besides that nice guy... Fanny pack contents were in the Willets Scavenger Hunt... Infinite things in fanny pack... Old Ben Kenobi... Showed Ross Copycat, a cool AI program... Big puppet that eats tennis balls... Ran last SWILCon really damn well... Hunt Wizard... Designed dragon for kegger... Did AI stuff with BDan... People at Cheng Hing recognize his voice when he calls to order food... Discussed the meaning of life with Sam C. in Greylock... Original print copy of Hounds of Morenia... Got Stone hooked on B5 (I notice a trend here. -g) (You seem very susceptible to being hooked on stuff... -d) (It's not my fault! Really! It's them -- all them! -s) (Uh-huh. Suuure it is... -gd)... Will drag anyone to Greylock to cook them something -- usually invents it, and it's usually yummy... Made crepes in Sharples using the omelette pan... The only roommate who would predictably go to bed as DanB got up... Impressive Final Fantasy costume... Helped carry carpet squares at Activities Fair frosh year... Guy you can always go to if you're looking for a really bizarre conversation... Has 2 rats, Chocolate and Vanilla (really known as Banana & Strawberry -gs)... Not long after he got the rats, in his religion final with Rebecca P there was a question that started "There is a sagea and two rats crawl out of his hat, one black and one white"... Finished unpacking from arriving at Swat about 2 weeks before Christmas Break junior year... Made a labyrinth... Made Dactyl wings... Designed thok guns... Ilk... Master filker... At PhilCon, been told that people liked his filks... Wrote a round for roundsing... 21st Birthday Party in Sugarplums -- Stone and Gold (who were then Abi-Wan Kenobi and Queen Amydala) paused after writing SWILNews to announce they wanted ice cream. Ben mentioned there was ice cream in the freezer, but they insisted they wanted fresh ice cream from Sugarplums, and that he had to come to so they could Agend for meeting. Got to Sugarplums, and Fred was there. Then Rebecca showed up. Ben asked if Stone saw any more SWILlies around, to make it an even weirder coincidence. The lady at Sugarplums announced she needed something off a high shelf in the back, and would Ben get it for her? Ben said that Fred was taller, but she insisted he get it instead. Ben went to open the door to the bathroom (which was *tiny*) only to find about twenty people crammed inside, who all yelled "Surprise!"... Chaos brought him an empty vodka bottle so he could claim he drank on his 21st birthday... Member of a small set of people who listen to Comma rant without trying to escape... Helped in writing script for Spoon Wars... Has springy glasses... SWILMeeting April Fools Joke junior year was his idea... Has had computers break 2 years in a row... First Ben... Major driving force behind Rainbow Dreamcatcher... Did Plant relabeling... Had many long talks trying to convince Will to pick a major already in April sophomore year... Helped build Yankee Stadium at Will's... Went to Joel and Sarah's and made fish, only they forgot to throw out the garbage and had a fishhead sitting around in it... On New Years, invited people over for gaming and cooked for them... Took the rats to play in the Japanese Maple outside ML... Is Foko... speaks Caroopta! (accent -gs)... Had funny food at Dune showing... Hot mulled root beer... Reason Comma started reading Pinkwater again. *** NonSWILBusiness *** There will be many people around here for the summer, so gaming and other fun things will probably happen. Check the fun list. If you're not going to be here, check the fun list that might be relevant to you! (Currently we have Boston fun, DC fun, SFBay fun, NYC fun, Atlantis fun (to subscribe look for SWILNews #12), (Kansas fun! Kansas fun! Please? -h), and good old Fun fun. *** We Are the Champions -- 5/12/01 *** rebecca "I refuse to sign the list till meeting has started" J "no I will not finish" (Me neith Matt "playing with a frog" Fowles Ross "'NSyNC -- they'Re HotteR thAN DuByA" MessiNG (Can't argue with that. -s) Raoul "'NSYNC -- wow...." Bagley (Yeah, they seem to have that effect on people. -g) (I am not obsessed! -s) (I am definitely not obsessed. -d) (I am. But not about that. -h) Adrian "God!!! The agony!" Packel Catherine "They're fuckin' _hot_, man" Osborne (Hey, this is a family SWILNews! -g) Kyla "a-men. Plus, bandannas! (with or without rhinestones)" Tornheim (Is that an 'n' in your bandanna? -d) ~Sam "ooh... purple" Crane Arcadia "postmodern follies" Falcone Lady of "almost one year old" Shalott Steven "Even hotter than 'NSYNC" Rusche Jennifer "rhine-scones" Tyson Eileen "is randomness a permanent condition?" Thorsos (Yellow. -s) (No, but jaundice is. -h) Jimmy "Peace and Fair Mana" Kong Rachelliv "We have 1 evil soul." Kaufmanherriot (And we can't play any of our cards until we get it! -d) Katrina "Willing to risk a sinus infection to be dismembered!" Mergen Ben "ummm..." Newman JC "AEled Cattering" Ravage Rachel "Nevermore shall the purple dance and sing, nor shall the evil clouds of dusk give chase." Sapiro (Agh! She said 'nevermore'! -g) (Why did you say 'agh'? -s) (Because I'm thinking... of when we wrote that SWILNews.... -g) (Aaaagh! -s) benjamin 'y'all are sick; i hope this promotes dialogue' r, george (Shut up. -h) & Callicles 'I don't have a problem with being a man. I just want to be a princess.' the Moose John "what happens when the entire page has been used up by verbose non-members" Finkbiner (That should really have a question mark. -g) BDan "Dark side of the attendance list" Fairchild (It doesn't mean he can use our bathroom. -h) Kyra "I won't forget a single day, believe me." Jucovy Rebecca "The language accepted by: q u o t e >. --> . --> . --> . --> . --> o " Paul \_____\_____\___/_____/_____/ V . Amy' "Universal Turing machine" Marinello Robert "zero-knowlege priors" McFarland Abby "My head hurts..." Friedman (Because of the quotes above? Or because of Remembrances? -g) (I plead the fifth. -s) ~Elliot "Remember nothing!" Reed Will "k-men. plus hankies." Q Rebecca "going slowly insane" Kuipers Franzi "oh wow; I'm present for once" Dickson (Didn't you come to Swarthmore primarily to joing SWIL? -g) *** Heart of Gold *** *** Heart of Stone *** *** Heart of Darkness *** *** He-art Historian *** Have a good summer! (Maybe when we come back, we'll come up with a clever, witty tagline to put here. -d) (Pardon me while I go laugh. -s)