Date: Wed, 15 Nov 1995 14:24:52 -0500
Subject: Beyond Good and Ebola... SWILnews #6


This is a SWILnews from time gone by. Yes, as the years roll on I can look
back now and recount those moments in my life when my soul was at peace and
things just seemed a little bit brighter and more full of that ineffable
substance that puts the smiles on little children's faces and the sparkle
in the dew of the grass on the first day of summer. Time may have passed,
we all may be a little older, but that doesn't have to stop us from looking
back on a SWILnews that might have been. Join me now, won't you, as I
recount with fondest admiration the peopleand events that meant so much to
all of us...

SWILbusiness:

The caption at the top of the notes for this week reads:
"The quiet SWILmeeting"
Why was this meeting so calm and peaceful? What brought the tranquil lull
to the usual busy hubbub of week-to-week SWILdom? Was it something having
to do with the tides? Perhaps a temporal shift due to some trekish
space-time anomaly? Did James have that look she sometimes gets that says:
"Go on, open your mouth, and you'll be pulling that breakfast burrito out
of your left nostril with a fractured hand."?
No, it was the weekend of RenFaire, and most of SWIL was off galivanting in
the lands to the northwest where folk dress in strange garb, carry heavy
personal weaponry, and engage in bizzare displays of outlandish behavior.
[actually, it sounds like jere7my's place. -TGP][then again, who am I to
talk? -TGP] ["I'm merely a Peach..." -J]  Accounts confirmed that pretty
much everybody had a good time
and anyone who didn't get to go ought to next year.

However, for those of us who held down the fort here at home things were a
bit more low key. People seemed pretty mellow and about the loudest thing
in the room was somebody's pog.

The biggest discussion involved 15 things to make sure of before the
Pterodactyl Hunt. On the list were such things as:
sword rolling
glowsticks
egg prizes
renatos gift certificate
15-35 ravenous creatures of darkness
balloons
and propaganda
The hunt will be occuring soon and something tells me it will be fun though
a little damp.
Somebody got a really neat idea of doing lots of sidewalk chalk for
propaganda. Unfortunately, the efforts to train the chalk to  carry
messages have all failed and so SWIL will have to continue with the old
paper stand-by. Julianna Patrick is rumored to have done something very
interesting in Martin with a gibbon, a blue piece of chalk and a gibbon,
but reports are still unconfirmed. Julianna had no comment.

Apparently, SWILoween is OK. Everything is ready, and this weekend it will
be a reality. Mind you, that although this SWILnews will be recieved some
time in mid-november, that is no reason to ignore this important bit of
information. There have, apparently, been people out there claiming that a
SWILnews is useless if recieved over two weeks after the meeting. To these
people we say "nay!".   [and Lord Julius's Goat, uncharacteristically says
"neigh" - J]
For we know that a good SWILnews will simply age with
time like a fine wine. [We are not responsible for any results of imbibing
this SWILnews. Distribution of this SWILnews to a minor may result in legal
action or flaying of the skin. -TGP] [*Hiccup* -J]

The movie this past week was Tank Girl and next week we will show nothing
since it will be fall break. After that we will have our 1 monday of the
semester with no movie but after that we will resume our fun-filled
showings. [If anyone is still trying to garner useful scheduling
information from this SWILnews they deserve what they get and thus will
recieve no further inaccuracy warnings. -TGP]

The video folks have tapes, and will be doing some copying any time now.
[This is pretty funny, since I have yet to hear of any actual copying
taking place. It appears that the same dimensional rift that has affected
the SWILnews is also causing problems with the eminently capable
video-library crew. Soon it may grow to envelope the entire universe!!!
Run!! -TGP]

Final among SWILbusiness was the long-awaited dismemberment of Seth. The
proof of sentience is now old news and has made the circuit in the
tabloids. For those of you out there who haven't heard, it is a tale of
filth and immoral goings-on, of shady characters, loose women, and the
darker side of first-year life. Aparently, a teddy bear was involved in
some form of tryst with an unknown wench who apparently hangs about with a
lady named Stephanie. Now, it was carefully proved that this bear was
sentient and, moreover, that it was NOT a concubine. Thus, it quickly
became apparent that Seth was actually te teddy bear who, through an
amazing feat of mind/bear duality, was both present at the SWILmeeting as
well as engaged in who-knows-what act in Steph's room.  [Act 4, scene 3,
most probably;
 we'll leave you to guess the play, muahaha -J ]  Most agreed that
since Seth was willing to admit this fact we were all pretty much willing
to take it as fact. Furthermore, since he is in two places at once and
since such a state requires faith to be comprehended and since faith is
only possible in those who are sentient he must be sentient. Lastly, he
made some pun about being born bear, but we dismembered him anyway. The
carnage was truely gruesome.

Non-SWILbusiness:

How often do you wake up in a cold sweat, throw off the covers, rush to
your computer and boot up the mail program of your choice in a desparate
attempt to discover what the non-SWILbusiness was several weeks ago? That's
what we thought.

ATTENDANCE      8-7-95

Snibor "Tsil eht no tsrif neeb reven ev'I!  Tsil eht no tsrif!" Eoj,
Sarah "I never sign the attendance list." Piaff,
Joel "North Dakota, China, negative seven" Mc Nary,
Stephanie "So, wait...is my boyfriend cheating on me with my teddy bear??"
Dyrkacz,
SETH "No.  AND BESIDES, DO YOU KNOW WHAT POG IS? I DIDN'T THINK SO..." WEIDNER,
Ben "Nothing to say but _Highly _ amused" Fritz

                                                -James & The Giant Peach