Date: Tue, 22 Nov 1994 11:30:22 -0500
To: _swat.org.swil @ cc.swarthmore.edu
From: ltsina1 @ cc.swarthmore.edu (Lesley Tsina)
Subject: Not a SWILnews but an amazing facsimile.
Status: OR


Hey there folks,
        in the tradition of Swarthmore students L & TG will not be bringing
you a real SWILnews this week as there is no meeting and hence no deadline
for this Saturday. Thus we will simply use this excursion down the
information super highway to bring you a batch of helpful reminders:

1. There is no SWIL meeting this week as everyone will be contemplating
their toenails or anything else that has nothing to do with work. Oh sure,
you might think to yourself "hey, I'm a mature person. I am in touch with
myself and the world around me, I can get things done over thanksgiving,
but it's all a lie and deep down you know it.

2. Beware of dog. (We mean this in the dyslexic metaphysical sense of course)

3. Floss regularly.

4. Talk to Besh if you are going to be around campus Thanksgiving and feel
like doing something for dinner. I hear she makes a wonderful peach
cobbler, and her quiche is to die for.

5.  In the words of psychology professor Barry Schwartz, "Think about what
it is you're actually repressing the desire for as you eat your
Thanksgiving turkey this weekend, then bring it to class next Tuesday to
share." Of course, everyone knows what Mr. Schwatz is repressing so he
can't be involved.

6. Avoid large, unnecessary purchases,as the holidays are approaching and
one's budget may be straining soon. [This from the man with the Fallen
Empires and the sword. -L] [But I'm only talking about UNnecessary
purchases. -TG] [yeah, that's a mighty  fine pencil sharpener you've got
there. -L] [When rampaging cossacks attack the school we'll see who's
smart, missy. -TG] [I wonder what he's repressing the desire for by buying
an enormous sword.-L] [I would have thought it perfectly obvious that I am
not repressing any desire and hence bought the sword and might very well
use it if provoked further. -TG] [nyah! -L]

7. While in Sharples beware of sliding on the remains of Eric, Megan, and
Sarah, all of whom have recently been dismembered. Coroners report and
post-mortem next week.

8. Be kind to your web-footed friends.


                        -+----- Literature & The Grotesque.