Date: Thu, 27 Oct 1994 12:22:28 -0400 To: _swat.org.swil @ cc.swarthmore.edu From: (Lesley Tsina) Subject: I saw the worst bands of my generation applied with magic marker to SWILnews # 6 Why does L have a Eurythmics tape? This will be our first topic of discussion this evening on "As the Planarian Turns" Roger: Well, I for one don't like it, it all goes back to what I've been saying about the state of the common market and the effect of wheat germ production in the newly reformed Parrish Annex area. Bert: Well Roger, if you weren't such a tool of The Man you would know that wheat germ production has all but ceased since the introduction of certain terrorist activities throughout central campus. In fact, someone seems to have discovered the secret grain laboratories hidden underground and replaced them with large cement walls that clash with the scenery and don't do anything for the carpet in the PAC. Roger: That's LPAC stooge! And besides, I Like cement walls, I happen to believe they offset the Bauhaus asthetic perfectly. Jocasta: You stupid git, where did you learn your architecture, from one of those Depeche Mode videos favored by the snarling youth of the borgoisie? Well folks, it's evident that our special efforts have not gone unnoticed in the world of high brow horticulture. Rock on! Next week... Is TG's announcement of the desire to make quiche a signifier of the greater trend on his part toward a post-yuppie 90's type-of-guy Weltanschauung or is it simply the devious scheme of a unculinarily impressed mind? Ask the experts.... Believe it or not there actually was some SWILnews this week. But who cares? I have always found that there is a certain bittersweet sentimentality in the air around this time of year, a sort of yearning for times past when people were a bit more free to deal with the crucial thoughts of the day. For this reason I would like to suggest that sometime tomorrow, oh say, noonish? we all take a moment to reflect and think back on what it is that makes us who we are and... uh... oh right, There's a SWILoween party this Friday and L and Besh have been hard at work making it the most exciting thing to hit Swarthmore campus since the time Jimmy Cagney came and gave an address... no?... well he should have damn it! [L, sick to death of this senile driviling, exiles TG to the corner of the room with a satisfying thud] Right then, it's a party, there will be stories read and comestibles masticated and y'all are free to bring whomever you like to Sharples 3 (that little lodge like thing between the frats and the old club, there will be a sign) from 8:30 till 2 AM though we may have passed out from exhaustion by then. Email food requests to Besh (echrist1) and if possible, bring comestibles of your own to share as Julianna will confirm that we have no money for this in the budget. Bringing games might be cool too, in any case, show up.We'd say more but actually, neither of us has ever been to one of these. However, this year L will be running it [spin the pumpkin, anyone? -L] and TG will definitely try to maybe stop by for a bit if it's not to late/cold/far/out of the way. [and don't give me that "Don, you're the co-president" line with the big eyes and the implied threats of violence cause it just won't work! -TG] Another exciting drama that's about to unfold this Monday night (that's Halloween people) is the annual pumpkin carolling expedition with a possible stop in William Turpin's Latin seminar. Forthose uninformed folk, pumpkin carolling involves people, in costume, roving about the streets of Swarthmore like overgrown trick-or-treaters ringing doorbells and singing Halloween carols to the confused inhabitants. For all of you who are attracted to this phenomena or hate Allen Ginsburg or both, show up in Parrish Parlors around seven pm in costume and see the best minds of your generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical naked.... The next Friday will be even more exciting than this one, as there shall be a great hunt and all the denizens of the dark shall emerge to defend their masters the dreaded though stylish, pterodactyls. Be warned, such is not for the faint of heart, especially if you are Fred or Kendra and therefore responsible for running the whole damn thing. I'm sure we'll be hearing soon about last minute monster requests, equipment purchases, and sword-rolling. If you don't know what sword rolling is you: a) haven't lived. b) don't deserve to walk the face of the Earth. c) can only redeem yourself by participating in it next week. d) have a unique opportunity to bother Kendra with huge ammounts of tedious inquiring e-mail. e) all of the above. <---- (pick this one!) There was a brief mention, as there often is, of SWIL movies and what they are up to. Well, we've gotten word that they're enjoying the weather in Palm Springs very much and may stay there for another week or two. Hopefully, the space people will be summoning them back some time soon. If so, we'll get right out there and rent some fine features for your amusement. Final bit of SWILnews, a carry-over from past controversy, Joe managed to get himself dismembered. For those of you who haven't followed the story, here's a summary: 1. One warm spring day in 1976 Joe is born to two warm and loving parents who fail to raise him correctly. 2. Having been raised poorly, Joe decides to not only come to Swat but to hang about with unsavory types. 3. This group of ne'er-do-wells, [headed by Dan Wells -L] soon show him into the inner sanctom of iniquity on campus, known to all of us as SWIL. 4. Finding such things much to his liking, Joe endeavors to become one with the darker side. 5. However, a group of blasted do-gooders, the Amos J. Peasley Debate Society (having already claimed the loyalties of one co-president in an attempt to bring the darkness to it's knees) decide to make a play for Joe's soul as well. 6. Thus Joe attends only two consecutive meetings, and trys to justify his absence from the third as a sign of his superior upbringing. 7. This is a fallacy, which we co-presidents immediately saw through. 8. However, as benevolent demons of the pit, we allowed Joe asecond chance at entering the fold rather than simply casting his soul to the unattended wok of life, as is standard proceedure in these cases. 9. Thus Joe was allowed to prove that he was sentient but had to attend three more consecutive meetings before dismemberment. 10. Having finally accomplished this task, Joe, hearafter known of as Eoj as he wishes has attained all the rights and responsibilities of a full non-member of SWIL. 11. As such we can give him a big hurrah and assign him his monthly night to walk Charles. Non-SWILbusiness: First off, we have a couple of exciting arrivals coming up. Thursday afternoon Jen Pratt flies in for a visit, beware. Friday a bunch of people will go out and welcome in Larry who returns to us by the great silver bird that flies over the heads of the people [boy I want to see Mad Max movies again soon. -TG]. Talk to Kendra or Besh if you wish to drive/ride along to offer support and hang about the gate scaring flight attendants. Some time next week Michael Brus, that peppy little red headed bobbit, will be showing up somewhere in the vicinity of Eric Huneke's room. Keep your eyes peeled. There was more exciting gaming last weekend, fun for all involved, especially those of us who returned from the dead. There are a whole bunch of really cool movies in theaters now and soon. People really want to go to them so we ought to. Yeah. Raul Julia film fest anyone? "jere7my, if you could follow me home, I can give you money." statement by L at last SWILmeeting, I'm not allowed to comment further. Also, there's this HaverCON thing going on sometime soon and I for one am a mite bit skeptical. Perhaps there will be a few of us going, perhaps not. If somebody wants to organize, go right ahead. Finally, ATTENDANCE 10/22/94: Elizabeth "smilin' at the corn" Christian, Fred "Hurbold IV sends his greetings and asks when the assault on Sharples shall begin" Bush, Beth "So does Blue!" Bruch, Aaron "Born under an odd sign" Hertzmann, Snibor "Adnagaporp fo Retsinim" Eoj, Jeremy "Sideways [written, you guessed it, sideways]" Dilatush (and right to left), Todd, Todd's backpack, Stephanie "Do you want to buy a duck" Dyrkacz, [Why a duck? -L] [Viaduct! -TG] [Yes, but why a duck? -L], Melissa "A what?" Binde, Dan "A duck!" Eisenbud, Sarah "Does it quack?" Piatt, Joel "Of course it quacks!" McNary, Alice "I wantit to be Halloween NOW!!!" Unger, Julianna "Stressed beyond belief, we're talking brain explosion" Patrick, Ben Williams wuz heer, Elizabeth Weber, Kendra "I said, PUT IT IN THE HAPPY BOX!" Eshleman, jere7my "Can I destroy the Earth? I HOPE not!" tho?rpe, Josh "good morning" Burdick, Fred's "SHALL_WE_SLAY_A_DAME?" portable super computer, -Literature &The Grotesque.