Date: Thu, 6 Oct 1994 21:50:45 -0400 To: _swat.org.swil @ cc.swarthmore.edu From: (Lesley Tsina) Subject: Percent Daily Values on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be SWILnews # 5 Welcome once again to this week's edition of spot the half-dead juniors who have spent far too much time procrastinating and are now up to their eyes in work which they proceed to ignore in favor of writing the SWILnews and keeping all you lucky lucky people informed and well-adjusted. [just a bit more to the left. -TG] What we have this week is a plethora of exciting things to speak to you about, things that will quicken your pulse, whiten your hair, and send a chill down your planarian. SWILbusiness... In no particular order, since as Nietzsche says "I distrust all systemizers and avoid them, the will to a system shows a lack of integrity," we heard wonderous things from Kendra (and Fred) about this year's soon-to-be-legendary Pterodactyl Hunt. We all know the story, people hit other people with rolled up newspaper in a strange, yet somehow alluring fit of pure animalistic fervor. In any event, monster signups occurred, and a good number of important posts were filled, including the nearly identical Vampire and Shadow, the happy-go-lucky trolls, and a wise and wonderous Oracle. We also managed to find two Pterodactyls so it looks like the hunt is a go. Of course, Orcs and Hobgoblins are always in demand (talk to your friends) and the position of Black Knight is currently under debate. Everybody keep October 28th free 'cause we're having a party. Lesley and Besh have offered to organize a fest for the close of this month which I thought convenient since that's usually the time we have the SWILoween party. Everybody has to find a costume or be flogged and we'll probably have the usual lot of games, guffaws and filksinging, although since I've never actually made it to one of these I'm not real sure. Still, I've heard it's wonderful, and it certainly beats the DU party or ML party that it will probably be competing with. Prepare thyselves. eoJ is now minister of propaganda, after managing to convince about seven people, including Larry, that there was indeed a movie showing last week. Not only was there no movie, but eoJ himself declined to attend said non-event. Nice work eoJ! Speaking of movies, the space people have frowned upon our work here on this planet, and thus decline us our use of Kirby. [they did offer us Parrish Annex, but we respectfully declined. -L] As such, we are currently making the proper sacrifices to appease them and will once again endeavor to call on their benevolence later this week. Hopefully we can get a uniform time every week starting after break, so iron those uniforms and prepare for cinematic bliss, no really. What this means, though, is that there was no movie Tuesday for all those people who didn't show up. Alas and alack, our much awaited trip to RenFaire did not go as planned. It seems that demons were active in preventing us the use of a van for the prescheduled date. Oddly enough, vans were spotted on the site of the former Parrish Annex/ Monster Truck Rally Pit. Of course, we know nothing about this. [planarian. -TG] However, it would seem that Andrea and Sam might be interested in taking a few people over break. If you want to go really badly just whine and pester them 'til they get really upset and threaten you with physical harm and then claim you've been emotionally assailed and threaten to sue and they will probably relent and let you go with them. [This sort of thing is how I got into Swarthmore. -TG] jere7my showed up to give us the latest on PHILCON, and it is looking like not only will we have a couple of rooms for both nights, but that there will be plenty of room for Mr. tho?rpe and Ms. Eschlemann to have their own private suite. [I heard the tiling of the hotel bathrooms is quite nice. -TG] There are still a couple of registration forms circulating, so contact jere7my, or either of us if you still wisk to get a reduced pre-ordered rate. Tune in next week (after break) when the highly sentient eoJ once again gets a chance to be ripped limb from limb. Woop. Peachy. Robert De Niro, Harvey Keitel You don't make up for your sins in church. You do it in the streets... Martin Scorsese's Mean Streets [You leave that TG alone typing for one minute and he starts typing whatever's in front of him . If I had left _Ulysses_ on the shelf, we'd be here for 26 hours. -L] The t-shirts have decided that they like Beth's car and have staged a coup to overthrow the door locks and stay there. However, zoning laws remind us that this situation cannot be permitted to continue. A committee is being dispatched. Another committee, namely Besh, is being dispatched to deal with this problem. What the other committee will do is so classified that it gives me shivers of satisfaction to refuse to disclose it. Nyah. Non-SWILbusiness... First off, there was a sneak preview showing of the most fabulous movie to emerge from a Marple 10 cinema in our collective co-presidential memory. Ed Wood, a lovely little story of cross-dressing and rubber monsters was met with rousing applause from at least the roughly 10 SWILnon-members in the audience. If you have the means, I highly recommend getting out to see it. If you managed to sit through Plan 9 From Outer Space, this is required viewing! [It was much better than _Hexed_, you'll want to see it again and again... -L] Also, Fred began his pair of D&D campaigns. Although loads of fun, there was a bit of confusion concerning group dynamics. [in future remember that unconscious party members and active shamans are more important than immobile foot-soldiers. -TG] None-the-less, a good time was had by all. In keeping with the big Ed Wood kick, a number of people got a chance to take in Bride of the Monster, where Bela Lugosi does that nifty hand thing [...you must be double-jointed, you must be Hungarian... -BL] Fun fun fun. And remember, no meeting this coming Saturday as there is break and Sharples won't be open. 'Till next we meet... ATTENDANCE (10/1/94) Elizabeth "groan, sigh, ouch" Christian, Kristen, Colin "I am NOT a stasis field" Schatz, Larry "Madam, I may be The Hobgoblin King, but you're ugly, and I'll be human again after the hunt." Miller, Ross "This discussion is radiculous" Dickson, Julianna Patrick, Katie "Hulk" McCarthy, Alice "There goes the Rabbit!" Unger, Fred "I do not like this ravioli. I do not like it with cuir boulli.", Charles "Grand theft- Green folder" Danforth, Elizabeth Weber, Snibor "?sdrawkcab eman ym gnitirw htiw gronw s'tahw" Eoj, Josh "Slightly spinning" Burdick, Kendra "and here wonder dog Wederman" Eshleman, jere7my "I could tell you things about Peter Pan or the Wizard of Oz- there's a dirty old man." tho?rpe, Samuel "Meet Bunnykiller" Weiler, Aaron "[several meaningful statements withheld due to their being written in characters Eudora can't handle, sorry. -TG]" Hertzmann, Stephanie "go down on your knees and worship jere7my in PAC#3" Dyrkacz, Melissa " Bye,bye, Miss American 3.14159265358979" Binde, David "Pure Bulgarian flower of virtue" Randall, Andrea "Unmotivated" Hall. Literature & The Grotesque