IT'S THE FIRST REAL SWILNEWS HEADER OF THE YEAR!!!!!

Yes, that's right, not only do you receive a bona fide Swilnews, with its special surprise section (prizes can be won!!!), but you
also get a header in GENUINE CAPITAL LETTERS (tm), absolutely free of charge!  (And they said we were cheap...)

There have been more dismemberments than the mind could boggle at.  [And you thought Iraq was violent... -- F&S].  Those newly
lacking limbs [oh those limbs! -- F] are: Kar-yee Wu, Stephen Sample, Aaron Brockett, Jeremy Thorpe, Melissa Running, Stephen Siff,
Daniel Long, and Mark Schwartz.  Congratulations are in order.  We have two more prospective non-members this week: Chris Hegendorn
and Rebecca Yahm will be suitably hacked should they show their faces (or limbs) and prove some meagre form of sentience this
Saturday.

Yar...

Without further ado, [oh please, just some ado -- F] [no, Ed, you know you're on a low-ado diet! -- S], the Attendance for
Saturday, September 15, 1990: Melissa "all I want out of life is a waffle" Shaner [We can see both sides of the waffle issue
--S&F]; Josh "You expect me to be clever? Phblaat."  Mackay-Smith; Fran "Full contact red light green light" Altvater; David "I had
a solo session but I'm not telling" Randall; Peter "I yam, but do I think?" Wong; Kar-yee "African or European Swallow?  I don't
know.  Ahh...." Wu; Wendy "Wendy Waesche" Waesche; Jason the green menace; Jeff "Standard deviations" Hildebrand; Deb "I love
dismemberments-- heh heh heh" Holtzman; Stephen "AAAAAAAAAAUGHH!!!!" Sample [We hope you appreciate us counting all those 'A's!  --
F&S]; Melissa "We who are about to be dismembered salute you--or at least make rude incomprehensible gestures and/or noises
somewhere in your presence--or do we, really?  I guess I'm a little nervous.  I get a bit garrulous at times of such great
excitement..." Running [Really?  We hadn't noticed.  It's a good thing we had 14" paper -- F&S]; Mark "3rd version" Schwartz;
Bradley "Nephrons included" Gabe; Aaron "in tune to 12" Brockett; Rebecca "Beware the cows and Big Sybling" Yahm; Jim "R.I.P. Norb
1990-1990" Moskowitz; Nao "Duct tape + safety pins hold my life together" Parkhurst; Dan "Guru" Markiewicz; Jed ("I don't DO
quotations") Hartman; Josh "They played wink & didn't tell _me_" Smith [Lucky thing, too... -- F&S]; Chris "Hey Kool-Aid" Hogendorn
[We, too, have been somewhat hot and thirsty of late. -- F&S]; Jere7my "Can I wipe my nose on this?" Tho?rpe [only if you get it
e-mail -- F&S]; Deb "sometimes Deb, Sometimes Sam, Sometimes DebSam, and Sometimes..." Barolsky; "They played Wink?!" Amanda "Maim!
Maim! I wanna maim!"  [Can you see Susan saying 'Maim, Maim, I wanna maim'?  Like, Out Loud?? --S] [Yes.  Oh, yes. --F]

Pterodactyl Hunt is still Oct 5, Halloween may be November 7 or 6 or something, Renn Faire trip is Sunday, Contest deadline is
October 20th (CASH PRIZE, folks), World ends late November, Finals begin shortly thereafter.  And you thought you couldn't find a
date...

This has been the all-elipsis episode of Swilnews.  Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion to this and many other
sentences...

					F & S [Freckled and Short-Haired]