WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO COME UP WITH A SNAPPY HEADER FOR THIS SWILNEWS!! Yes, it's a Swilnews in haste this week. Let's see just how fast we can churn these things out... Unfortunately, we have news. If we didn't, we would get through this much faster. But it's not much news. It's just the Pterodactyl Hunt, which will be held "5th? October 5th? A Friday? Yeah, something like that." So says Josh. Also, the key to George will soon be back where it should be. I have just handed it to Ed. I'm sure he'll put it in Locker 42 with his usual haste. [Today. Or Tomorrow at the latest. Well, I've got to pick up my suit from the dry-cleaners, and Wanamaker's is having a sale on their hats. Oh, and I have to pick up my shoes from the shoemaker in Media. -- F] [Maybe you should just find Ed and mug him if you want the key. -- S] In further news, there is a sign-up sheet on the Swilboard for a trip to the Pennsylvania Rennaisance Faire. The trip will be on Sunday the 23rd. Sign up if you want to go! [The key to George and the key to my room both say "best" on them. Which one is best? -- F] [The answer to these and other thrilling questions will be found in the special surprise section hidden somewhere in this Swilnews! -- S] And now, without further ado, or in fact any ado, the Attendance for September 8, 1990: Deb "Gosh, I've never been first before" Holtzman; Jeff "Lord Julius the sixth" Hildebrand; Deb "Blub-Blub-Blub..." Barolsky; Fran "I can't be_lieve_ you suspect me" Altvater; Kerstin "I finally made it--No Track Meets!!" Kirschenbaum; Kar-yee "Back like a recurring nightmare" Wu; Stephen "Paronomasiac Jabberwock (beware the banana!) Toot, boing" Sample; Joel "Finally Back!"; David "It's a nice novel, but there are too many words" Randall; Peter "Poxy proxy, I'd be here but for Bio Lab. Out of mind, not out of sight" Wong [nice try...]; Aaron "I'm undecided" Brockett; Jere7my "The 7 is silent" Tho?rpe; Peter "Hungry Bears Make Better Eating" Wagner; Rebecca "I can't think of anything funny to write" Yahm; Melissa "!?!" and "Yes, Melissa _is_ my middle name; so what?" Running; Joshua "I refuse to use the same pen as everybody else" Mackay-Smith; Melissa "But Melissa is REALLY my REAL name for REAL so I WIN!" Shaner; Chris "Kool-Aid is my life" Hogendorn; Josh "I'll give you salt for cloth..." Smith; Nathaniel "Dammit Swil, he's dead"; Jed ("About to invade Sicily--watch out Mustafa") Hartman; Luke "What's wrong with using middle names?" Hankins; Stephen "Boy, am I thirsty" Siff; Susan Amanda Ruff; Daniel "Never Dan and preferably Iel if you must choose only one sylable" Long [That's NOT one syllable. or even one sylable. -- S&F]; Mark "If I could walk that way: Schwartz. Not, of course, to mention the Imperial Presence of Ed "very lengthy quotation, probably from Brecht" Bernstein and Andy "quoting either Nietzsche or David Byrne--both together can get dangerous" Perry. The following people are in imminent danger of being dismembered if they show up for the next Swilmeeting (assuming, of course, that they are sentient): Kar-yee Wu, Stephen Sample, Aaron Brockett, Jeremy Thorpe, Melissa Running, Nathaniel Bennett, Stephen Siff, Daniel Long, and Mark Schwartz! Gotta Run! F & S [Furiously & Swilnewsing]