From jgoldie @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Thu Dec 15 00:57:28 2005 Date: Thu, 15 Dec 2005 00:55:19 -0500 (EST) From: Jillian G. Waldman Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: SWILnews Subject: SWILnews #11 is never writing SWILnews #11 again == SWILnews #11 == Meeting was called to "that thing we call the meeting to" at 12:19. Eventually somebody said the word "disorder". Mai called the rabble pathetic for their ensuing attempt at chaos. Andrew called himself pathetic for reasons which are lost in the soggy sands of time. (Mai insists that insulting the rabble is not insulting anyone "except by TRADITION GODDAMNIT." And she reminds us that Jerome, unlike the rest of the rabble, did great.) You should go to Inauguration, on January 20th at 10:30pm in Bond. You should give Jillian $3 before January 20th, if you'd like to consume food at Inauguration. You should submit to BEM. (email art/fiction to bem @ swil.org or give it to Susan. If you want to give it to Miriam, you'll need to track her down, Carmen Sandiego-style, complete with Rock-capella and obscure clues such as 'She was last seen somewhere to the West of the junction between the first river the Dutch explored in the New World and that stupid one no one else cares about.' -m) You should vote for SWILmovies, if you care what we're showing next semester, and when we're showing it. Email votes to presidents @ swil.org by December 18th. If you don't vote and SWILmovie gets rescheduled to midnight in the ML boiler room, it'll be your fault. == Election == We told the frosh they had to prove sentience if they wanted to vote. They seemed to be okay with this and sat happily unsentient at the back table, all five of them. (Can we use non-sentients as furniture? -m) Out of curiosity, we gave them ballots and had them cast shadow votes; we extended this privilege to Jackie's computer Loki as well. There was voting. Votes were tallied on the blackboard, using the piece of chalk which was (amazingly!) still there from a few weeks before. Eliza/Finlay/Jackie won by a veritable landslide. The subtext between Greg and Arthur came in a distant second place, possibly hindered by the fact that, when Arthur entered meeting late, he entered alone. (Due to statements made over the next week, there's a good chance that he left Greg naked and alseep back in their room -m) There were many shadow votes for All the Frosh (without the alums) and a single shadow vote for Jackie On Fire. (Which reminds me. I need to break Loki on behalf of/to break Jackie. -m) All hail the presidents-elect, Finlay, Eliza, and Jackie. Applause and such. We think they'll do a good job. (By this we mean we're so desparate to get out we'd hail the cryogenically preserved corpse of Walt Disney if he'd agree to take the job. -m) (Seriously, though. It's been nice being your presidents, but we look forward to the future administration and its qualities of awesome, which are by no means limited to being not us. -c) == Jerome the Excessive and Short-lived == Jerome then moved that he be voted president pro tempore for thirty seconds. We voted on it, or tried to -- in mid vote, Eliza threw a brownie at Arthur, rather harder than would have been strictly necessary, had she not been provoked. (Frankly, I don't know what's more disturbing: Eliza's willingness to kill people at meeting or the fact that you could actually kill someone with a Sharples brownie -m) In his thirty seconds of glory, Jerome declared SWIL to be a dictatorship, run by himself. He declared himself Dictator For Life, the one man holding the one vote, and announced that the freshmen could go and die. We wanted to put the freshmen's impending death to a vote, but then his thirty seconds ran out and reality returned, such as it is. == Lottery == Despite allegations that Andrew's dice cheat, 1 won the lottery again. (You know, the fact that I keep getting 1's on these dice suggest I might be better off playing under GURPS rules than World of Darkness or DND -m) This time it was Eliza. She chose the mystery bowl over a poppin'-hopper, and received a tiny plastic lizard: _|__|___ | | (actual size, roughly) All of SWIL then spent a long time debating how to pop the poppin'-hopper. Arthur was the only one who could get it to work. == Non-SWIL Business == Arthur has a digital copy of his standup routine from Vertigo-Go's Halloween Show. You can download it from Dirty Chinese ++ (search for his name) or stop by his room. Revan has an anime called "The Irresponsible Captain Tyler" and wants to have a showing. David Pupkin is tentatively starting a "Big Eyes Small Mouth" Anime d20 roleplaying game. He also volunteered to start a land war in Asia. The fire company is currently selling Christmas trees right outside Borough Hall. There was a Boy Meets Tractor show Saturday night in SC 101 at 8pm. Susan, Jamison, and others worked on it all semester, so you should have gone. Sunday and Monday there was a student-directed, student-produced one-act play, but nobody could remember what play it was. Saturday night was the Chester Children's Choir concert, with free pizza and rides. Andrew bought "Creatures and Cultists" at Philcon and wanted to try playing it after meeting. He probably still wants to try playing it. Ask him. (I don't still want to beta-test its existence, but I would still like to play it. It's awesome. During our first run-through, Rebecca spooged while holding a tommy gun and had to go get tissues before she continued playing. -m) People should apply for the empty slot in the Forum For Free Press. Also, someone should run for Appointments Chair. If people see stray kittens around campus, they're from the litter living under Whittier, and you should email Mai (mpucik @ sccs) to report your kitten sighting, to help the Whittier residents track them down. == Attendance List of the Tenth == Eliza "Real Ultimate POWER!" Blair Jerome "Not selling Christmas trees today" Fung Mike "Fake First POWER?" Karcher Margaret "the crew #2" Cosgriff Revan "Where am I?" Williams Malcolm "In the village" Augat Meggie "What do you want?" (Not Sentient) Ladlow Susan "I wanna be dictator of Susan's Warders of Imaginative Literature" Zell finlay "gurgle blargh look I can write while I have no brain..." logan JAMISON times a billion (I told them to sign Jamison's name, it would make them feel better -c) andrewz hordeses Marie "so gone" Cosgrove-Davies Tower 14 Cortland "Germane" Setlow ACey "I'm FREEEEEEE!!!" Brown Mai "Andrew's FREEEEEEE!!!" Pucik Jillian "$3 for Inauguration and YOU can be FREEEEEEE too!" Waldman Closing the Curtain, relaxing the Fist, and freeing the Man, the Ironic Presidency