From mhandle1 @ swarthmore.edu Thu Oct 28 17:07:36 2004 Date: Thu, 28 Oct 2004 16:48:53 -0400 From: Mark Handler Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: swilnews @ swil.org Subject: The Little SWILnews #6 That Could Summary Sentience Proofs Mikio Akagi Timothy Ryan Whalen SWILoween: 29 Oct (Fri) 7-SWILmeeting, WRC; Pay Meredith SWILMovie: Nausicaa (1 Nov) SFDT: Thrust (28 Oct) SNS: Random Prop + Geek Pride (30 Nov) There once was a little SWILnews. But this little SWILnews had a problem. It just didn't want to get written. It tried and tried and tried, but could never get more than a few words down. In short, it was pathetic, just like the rabble. The little SWILnews kept getting distracted by its contents. It ran off to do a story reading, which was Saturday Night SWIL. When that was done, it was excited at the potential for propping random and/or non-existent things along with various other Geek Pride activities. The little SWILnews should have known better than to try to get written at 10 PM on Monday in SC101. The Fifth Element was shown, and the SWILnews was stuck at five elements, mesmerized by the movie and unable to progress. Jackie found the SWILnews trying to write itself and told it to stop and make prop instead. Tempted by the potential of brownie points, the SWILnews made prop. A very excited SWILnews could make no further progress as it was too excited by the premise of SWILoween. SWILoween is happening on Friday, 29 October in the WRC from 7 PM roughly until SWILmeeting the next day. Meredith (abrown1), an evil economist, should be paid $3 in advance, $4 at SWILoween, or $5 afterwards. Lots of nifty things happen on SWILoween and there'll be much fun and food and gaming, and you should go. The SWILnews thought it made a significant thrust against writer's block, but it turns out to just have been the SFDT topic. Thrust is defined to be two characters who have no business fighting one another fighting one another. Like, for instance, Gandalf v. Luke Skywalker. The SWILnews joined in the chorus wishing Abby, Queen of Hearts, a happy birthday. It also cast a vote in favor of initiating a SWIL T-shirt/long sleeve T-shirt reprinting. The SWILnews submitted to BEM and made Meredith nominate books. There were sentience proofs. They were long and made the little SWILnews cry, because they were mocking it, knowing that they would make the process of getting written much longer and more painful. Mikio Akagi *Mikio had a very long elaborate proof written up. As soon as we get a digital copy of it, we'll put it online at http://www.swil.org/SWILnews/Fall04/ Susan - ent+sentient -> Sarah's female half (??) Mendez "Am I an orc?" Mikio "I don't believe so; if you were, I would hate you." Mark - "Have you ridden the T?" Benitez "His proof was excell-ent" Mark is concerned about the preced-ent Nick - prove him to stop the torm-ent Thus sentient in order to stop the ent puns. Timothy Ryan Whalen previous proofs 1) Alex - wardrobe, like Mikio -> main character 2) Transferred -> informed decision -> knew what college was like before he transferred 3) Can quote from Shakespeare when someone says "break him on the wheel" 4) is standing on a chair + taller than all of us Susan stands up on a chair Alex, Blake, Mai stood up taller Higher than high (from taller than Tall) Antagonist needs sentience Sentience proofs need to be unique Sex in the city characters aren't sentient + they have hella wardrobes Gets people high at swilmeeting marijuana? If he's dealer ... dealt set cards Sentience is in the cards (Nick) All in favor of voting on something Andrew said taking notes shouldn't be a democracy Alex listed the reasons for having a filibuster sentient b/c he left Texas (Rice) The SWILnews was inspired by Mike, the cheating bastard, who won the lottery in proxy for Becky. The prize given away was the X-Men video "Cold Vengeance" Seeing Mike and Becky win, the SWILnews thought to itself "I can get myself written." "I think I can, I think I can," said the little SWILnews, and slowly but surely, the SWILnews got written. The SWILnews wrote about the showing of Amid the Dead in the SCCS pit at 7.30 and the Diebold victory party. It waxed poetically about Eliza needing vermin and the ML-Ville BBQ. "I think I can, I think I can," said the little SWILnews, and even more progress was made. Text leaped forth proclaiming the Jumble Sale at the meeting house and Mai's trip to the hardware store, naming the New Dorm after Jim Wong and Bizarro Swarthmore, starring Nu-pont, New Dorm, Neo-coop, and NegaHicks (complete with new paint). "I think I can, I think I can," said the little SWILnews, and the end was in sight. Mai's trip to ML and SCCS to get Ulysses was set in glorious prose, and the return of WSRN was lauded (This coming Monday. Really. -g). And before too long, the little SWILnews had done it, it was written. It just needed the help of its friends: ATTENDANCE LIST OF BEING SICK INSIDE (*wanders by and randomly starts soliloquizing about movies* -jamison) Meredith "Half-Illithid Grey Dragon" Conforti Brown (I killed the zombies - j) Tim "My heart is as black as my t-shirt" Whalen Susan "AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS" Zell Sarah "Bad c-code. No donut." Hartman (*discussion of ph-meter in George- jamison and bdan) Jerome "I'm hopelessly inefficient" Fung Marie "Tension, apprehension, and dissention" Cosgrove-Davies (when mai was four she lived in rome and fought the pope. and her favorite phrase was, "who's the pope? i'm il papa," and no one understood her and that's why she was kicked out of rome and excommunicated four times. - jamison) Eliza "Draws Op-Art, yay!" Blair (yay blair! i mean, eliza. it's late. -t, in her head) Alex (sometimes mai goes to russia. and that's why the bolsheviks won. -j) "Now that Mark is actually in a bra, it's not funny anymore." Pshenichkin (written down on the attendance list: (Oh, yes it is -J) (I drew a picture of a Beholder. I am special! - Alex)) Michael "Unnatural 20" Noda Nick "Dance, my x-wings, dance!!" Ward Jackie "Galapagos gerbil" Werner (if it's about the mafia, it's probably pretty good. - jamison) (scribble) /home/dbenitez#: Error: "segmentation fault" Qian "UPS socks (or SOCKS -t)" Qian [[[Blake @"[[NSTimer init] getTime]"](scribble)]Setlow] (i don't eat things that belong to other people, if they're in the room. -jamison) Mikio "Am I sentient now? How 'bout now? Now?" Akagi Scott "I hope Becky doesn't get me sick" Storm (wavy line) "I am here as a proxy, it's my hat" Jamison (surprisingly, jamison now has nothing to say about this... -t) Becky "I'm diseased" Franklin Mike "Fire from heaven, brimstone from Hell" Karcher Emmanuelle ..."I'm Tired"...Hanback (so'm i...t, i mean -t) James "Thruster" Mendez Hodes (i read that as 'thurber' -t) Lauren "Goods and services" Goodfriend Chris "$~/.sig not found" Jager (enough with the code already! -t) Jillian "fifty different words for 'shiny'" Waldman Set "Deck" Set Finlay "fuckin' late" Logan Kit "This isn't my third conse(crossed out q)cutive meeting, honest" La Touche MARK "NEVER PAY THE SUCKER FARE" HANDLER (never use all caps -t) (BUT I ALWAYS USE ALL CAPS, AT LEAST WITH MY HANDWRITING -g) Mai "Warkity-wark" Pucik BDan "Acquisitions Department" Fairchild (hmmm - jamison) The SWILnews gives eternal gratitude to Watty Piper, without whom it would never have a theme. Tall and Grand would also like to thank the SWILnews for writing itself, saving us quite a bit of work.