/***************/ /* SWILNews #2 */ /***************/ //Attack of Super Foam Monster! in SWILNews #2-D!!// suuuuuuuuuuuuupeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrfooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmoooooooooooooooonnnstEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! /****************/ /* SWILBusiness */ /****************/ Rabble was pathetic!!! With exception of Power Banana! You must use Secret Van Technique to unite for Ultimate RenFaire Attack!! Unless we find Hidden Passengers, there will be room Tomorrow! When the bell struck seven, Saturday Night SWIL was born and all the earth fell under a second Parlor Game!!! Full! Contact!!! Red Light!! Green Light!!! Violent Games come again with a Wink on next Saturday Night SWIL! If Saturday Night SWIL rules earth, a filksing could be occured! It is a calm day in Neo-Swarthmore. Jillian, the Presidents' Right Hand Man, rules with a right hand. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey on the horizon, lurking beyond edge of Monday. Using modern cybernetic super-technology, Sock Puppet Pterodactyl, with help from his army of minions MarkJillianNoda, made George stronger, faster, BETTER than before!!! ALERT, ALERT! Non-member new approaching!! UNIDENTIFIED! UNIDENTIFIED!!! Identify self! I am unit Miriam Newman. Prepare to be color-blinded! As she approaches, the loudspeaker booms: "" Never you'll win, Evil Miriam Invador!!! Evil Miriam invasion was defeated and dismembered. Her left arm is kept in Presidential Research Underground Headquarters. Level 15 psychic disturbance detected in grid 17 by 43 by 12. Location: Seville's Barber Shop. Subject: Lord Jerome Fung. Ha. Ha. Ha. My new French Opera POWER is unSTOPPABLE!!! When I get haircut, the world will be mine, and I will sing!!! Now, to increase my power, I will join forces with Jackie Werner and her Doppelganger of Doom!!! With our powers united... Super Sentience Defender approach ruins of Neo-Swarthmore. Never you'll win, Lord Fung! All your limbs are belong to us! Now, the city can rest in peace, and go see Neal Stephenson read passages from his new Quicksilver book at the UPenn Bookstore on Saturday, October 4th. /***********/ /* Lottery */ /***********/ Lord Fung, though defeated, use psychic power to influence probability. Even his power was not enough to penetrate the veil of mystery that surrounds Mystery Bowl! Inside are miniature Inquiseteur du Griffon! Now evil Lord trapped forever in Negavertic Role-playing Dimension! /********************/ /* Non-SWILBusiness */ /********************/ Citizens! Tune your broacast boxes to WSRN (91.5 FM, or wsrn.swarthmore.edu) and be enthralled by the voices of Mark on Monday 2-4 and Dan Blim Sundays 10-11 and Arthur on Wednesday mornings 8-10!! Despite best work of research scientists, The Abby still likes N*Sync! We must prevent the contagion from spreading!!! No part of new Science Center 2003 will have name after N*Sync! Old Ben Kenobi has a web page. SWAPA is super kicky awesome!!!!!!! Examples be made available soon! With SWIL Amateur Publishing Association powers, you too can be hero! No, we're just talking about Soda Tasting last Friday! Many drank from Spittoon of Ickiness. Perhaps start new fad in America? New data! The Abby gets happy when the Comma is made to whimper! Jim demonstrate new Universal Translator Skill!!! He know "with" in French! Better than "phlegm" in Russian! On sale today! Soon SWIL Board will be rebuilt! Then George and SWIL Board can use their bionic circuits to unite into Super SWIL Storage Unit Tack Exploding Man! Tune in next week, when D&D one-shots will battle evil spellcasters from beyond the moon!! /***********/ /* Credits */ /***********/ //Attendance List of a Boy Named Sue// Adam "The Nielson's are over-rated" Oleksa Jennifer "" Yee Miriam "Nicknames are for wimps" Newman Samuel "YarfMeister" Jenkins Jackie "Mostly harmless" Werner Qian "I'm going to seduce you" Qian Megan "It waved its antennae at me" Nelson <- can't write Micaela "freshman who hasn't thought of a nickname yet" Baranello Eliza "Lobster stick to magnet, BITCH!" Blair "Marduk" Andrew Conforti Brown, "The Quiet One" Jerome "Rain rain go away" Fung Abby "Drink up, me hearties, yo-ho" Friedman, oy capisce eh arrrrrrrr! Jim "Actually, it stands for 'Trespassers Welcome'" Moskowitz John "~~~~~~~" Finkbiner Amy' "Two down, one to go" Marinello benjamin 'this spell ought to burn something...' r, george ~Sam "In the breakfast room I am "the other Sam", but in SWILMeetings I RULE!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Crane Rachel "What's the difference between JC?" Sapiro Jillian "I made all the frosh make swords Michael "Proud X Middle School Lobster" Noda Raoul "Weigher of souls: now $0.79 an ounce!" Bagley B.C. "fake boyfriend" Phillips Ben "a carbonated life form" Newman Arthur "Now more filling" Chu Jonathan "I'm not really here!" Schneider Abby "redux" Friedman oy capische eh arrrrrrrr! Nick "Shaka, when the walls fell..." Ward MARK "OH, THAT CEL-RAY AFTERTASTE" HANDLER /***********/ /* The End */ /***********/ Thanks to our guest spp, the Sock Puppet Pterodactyl. Copyright ©2003. A Death, Time, and War Production.