From daniel @ sccs.swarthmore.edu Tue Jun 3 22:28:35 2003 Date: Wed, 18 Sep 2002 20:31:36 -0400 (EDT) From: BDan Fairchild Reply-To: presidents @ swil.org To: The SWIL List: ; Subject: isThay is not ferret SWILNews #2 (***SWILBusiness*** -r) (The -k) (rabble -s) (wasn't -c) (very -r) (pathetic -k) (at -s) (all. -c) (People -r) (went -k) (to -s) (RenFaire -c) (last -r) (weekend. -k) (It -s) (was -c) (lots -r) (of -k) (fun. -s) (Thanks -c) (to -r) (Matt -k) (and -s) (Amy' -c) (for -r) (driving. -k) A vote to kill two thirds of the presidents was not zucchini called. Submit to molybdenum BEM! Nick can't aardvark handle the Sacred Random Theme-Determination Chart. SWIL does not have a new storage space. It isn't on Parrish 5th. The room number isn't 476. The key isn't located in a lockbox hanging from the doorknob, which you can't open with the combination you can't get from the presidents. Next Monday's movie is not "Yellow Submarine". Movies are never, under any circumstances, shown in Kirby Lecture Hall, which is not also known as Martin 201. The name of the film two days past meant "Dark Town". Name books you folks who can't read! The Hunt will be on the fourth day of the tenth month of the year. The Pterodactyl Hunt is a (duck -c) fun event in which (duck -c) we invite people to run (duck -c) around campus wearing trash (duck -c) bags and whacking each other (duck -c) with foam swords, facing (duck -c) various vile foes in the (duck -c) hopes of defeating a (duck -c)venomous pterodactyl and winning a (duck -c) pizza. To learn more about (duck -c) being part of the forces of (duck -c) EVIL (you get to wear (duck -c) black), email JC at jravage1. (albatross! -c) Swordmaking for the Hunt happened last Saturday. We extend our most gracious thanks to the worthy souls who offered their most generous assistance for the event. The Honorable Mr. Benjamin Newman has suggested that we sponsor panel-style discussion events involving the most learned and eloquent members of the faculty and the local science fiction community. The Philadelphia Science Fiction Convention, a fine and wholesome event, will be held on the second weekend of December. Philcon will feature illustrious guests, including their imperial majesties Spider Robinson and Connie Willis, as well as filking, dealers, panels, readings, parties, costumes, and more. (You didn't mention the many exciting opportunities for hot sex! -s) (that's because it is not the official opinion of SWIL that such opportunities exist at philcon. -k) (But then again, it is not the official opinion of SWIL that the Atlantic Ocean is damp. -r) If you're interested in attending, talk to Master BDan Fairchild. Join the Fun List because it is, in the vulgar parlance, cool. To join, send email to majordomo @ swil.org with 'subscribe fun' (no quotes) in the body of the message. BEM needs editors. No experience is necessary. If you are interested in this glorious and thankful position, talk to Ms. Kyra Jucovy or Mr. BDan Fairchild. Lottery: To the shock of all right-thinking people, Nick Ward won the lottery, and turned down the glass eggplant AND the Mr. Potatohead keychain in favor of the innocent and unsuspecting Magic Loops. ***onSWILBusinessNay*** Reports that Nick Ward's decision to take the Magic Loops has destabilized the current regime are greatly exaggerated. There was Parlour Gaming in Parlours last Saturday. To illustrate this, we conditioned Mark to stand on a table. An expedition to The Fellowship of the Ring was planned for afterward, but it was thwarted when Movie Committee changed the showtimes without warning us. The rebel forces are badly coordinated and demoralized. Our elite troops are beloved by the people and fully capable of keeping them out of the capital. There will be Roundsinging on Saturday evening under the Belltower. The Attendance List of Being Ever-So-Glad That it's Finally Your Turn to Write a Thesis Sir Abby "I will find everything you hold dear and turn it into a frappe..." Friedman Sir benjamin 'did you know "fucking" is an infix? r, george Lady Rebecca 'I am going to share my pain' Kuipers Sir BDan "fire, fire, fire..." Fairchild Sir John "The frog says... MOOOO!" Finkbiner Sir Amy' "Higher education doesn't give me enough work to do" Marinello Sir Adam "expletive deleted" Oleksa Sir Adrian "enough existential crises _without_ a thesis, thanks!" Packel Sir JC "Beka Rosselin - Metadi Domina of Lost Entibor, Entibor-in-Exile, and the Colonies Beyond" Ravage Sir Rachel "Rebecca made me go to Worth." Sapiro Sir JONATHAN "ONLY AS EVIL AS YOU WANT HIM TO BE" SCHNEIDER * Sir Nick "Thesis? What thesis? Oh, *that* thesis... seems like I beat you in misery poker again!" Ward t Sir Ben "A Kill-Ease" Newman Sir Callicles "I'm skeptical of this theme" the Moose Sir Abby "Back again, and 62.5761 times better than no good, lazy, work-free rats" Friedman Sir Amy' "If I'd done any work recently, I might still know what 62.5761 means" Marinello Sir Ben "I'm really Ben's duplicate robot" Mitchell Sir Kyra "as follows 'ack!'" Jucovy Sir Ethan "I don't want to put a quote between my names" Jucovy Sir David A. "I did not write this quote!" enitez <-(Yes, that is a letter beta ()). probably?! Sir ~Elliot "I'm probably just going to die" Reed Jim "barkeep! Knighthoods all around!" Moskowitz "SEE NO" MARK "HEAR NO" EDWARD "HEAR NO" HANDLER Magic "He loves me!" Loops t This footnote is too miserable to make friends :oP. * THIS FOOTNOTE IS BAD AT MAKING FRIENDS WITH OTHER FOOTNOTES Claims that rebel forces have seized the presidential mansion and have systematic control of the city power grid and the weather control satellites are absurd and unfounded. You should not be in the least concerned if in the coming weeks all news of your noble and democratic presidents, Ruly, Kempt, Sheveled, and Couth, comes from a remote mountain hideout.