(We're going to have to eff *some*thing. -d) (Then it'll be ironic. -g) (It'll be ironic? -d) (Yeah. There'll be irony. Dont'cha think? -g) (So, in otherwords this SWILNews will be like a zen koan. If a duck is being sold and there's no one around to buy it, does it still quack? ( -gs) We're just going to intersperse bits of wisdom throughtout. -d) (THAT'S NOT WISDOM! -s) *** SWILBusiness *** That wasn't particularly pathetic. What wasn't, you might ask. Ah -- Enlightenment reveals all. RenFaire was on Sunday. RenFaire will be on Sunday. (There is humor in repetition. -d) ( -gs) Hunt sword-rolling happened after Meeting in Sharples. (It wasn't so much rolling as whittling. -d) (I cut my finger. John cut the same finger. It was deeply symbolic. We can probably make something wise out of the deep symbolism. -g) (The Finger-Cutter just doesn't have the same ring as The Concussionist. -s) It was followed by gaming. Remember what we said last week about it being the end of gaming? We lied. Truth is a fleeting thing (in bed -s). (Ooooh. I was wise. -s) People were throwing knives at ~Elliot. This reminded Darkness of the sentience proof of Sentient (aka "Scott"). THE PTERODACTYL HUNT (This is where we get to say that DoubleStar is awesome. -d) DoubleStar is awesome. By Unnecessary SWILVote, the Hunt will take place on Friday, October 5th, with Saturday the 6th as a rain date. DoubleStar's storyreading will take place on Saturday, October 6th, with Friday the 5th as a rain date. That is, if it is raining on Friday, and the Hunt (see above) cannot occur then, the storyreading will take its place. Otherwise, the storyreading will happen Saturday. See what we mean about DoubleStar being awesome? Ross is throwing an exception. (Gold caught it, but nobody noticed. -d) (That's not getting put in here, because I don't get it. -s) (But it's funny. -g) (Then you type it. -s) (I always wanted to make a Java class called TwoYearOld, and have it throw Tantrum. -d) (Thanks. -s) Gold has found her hat. (Yay! Go you. -s) Seek and ye shall find (in a giant hamster ball -d). Raoul doesn't get a hug. (You weren't there to do the lottery, so I decided that everyone who got there by noon got a hug. -g) (Hm. That *would* help my pocketbook out tremendously... -s) (Okay, I'll give your pocketbook a hug. -d) ( Give it back! -s) He does get to Submit to BEM. You can too. The Lord helps those who help themselves (on this armed and fully operational battlestation -g). BEM's co-eds are BDan and Kyra. (Co-ed varsity... no, not going there. -s) SWILOWEEN Arcadia will reserve the WRC for Saturday October 27th. 'Cause we get Daylight Savings Time. (Time Bonus! -g) (Rules reset! -d) (Final Card Random! -s) (Would you like to buy a duck? -g) (Yeah, that's pretty random. -s) Raoul will buy food, Rebecca P. will collect money, and Rebecca J. will provide a car. (Her car. Not just any car. Final Car Random! -g) (I'll beat people up if they don't pay. I'm a scary New Yorker. Thwart me not. -s) Robert Anton Wilson for Speaker? (of the House? -d) (I think BC nominated him. Someone did. -g) If more people want to nominate people we've heard of, that would be good. The Speaker who is not heard has no Message (while drunk -s). If *you* want to run The Third Annual root beer Kegger (yes, you, Kegger person, you! I say you should run it... -gs) (Please stop singing... -d) (If I'm the one to do it, no one will come to it. I'm Honors and overstressed, don't you know? -s) (Yes, I know. -g) Maybe this Kegger could be 1776-themed. Maybe not. Why don't *you* decide? He who quaffs deep at the Keg of Life will not be able to finish his sentences ( -d). *** Sentience Proofs *** Michael T. Noda He told us that as a prospective econ major, he is an unapologetic tool of The Man. A tool needs to be created by a sentient intelligence (it does? -s) (by some dictionary, or something -g). Then he read some quote by Nietzsche (NB: if this is spelled wrong, blaim the MiniProps, as per SWILLaw) to the effect that man can and does create exclusively sentient beings. Then we heckled. He was using his Visor as a tool to hold his sentience proof on, so he was using a tool. We thought about voting his Visor sentient, but we didn't. (Well, had it been to 3 consecutive Meetings? -s) Then we decided that The Man must be insisting that he's sentient because if he was a tool of The Man he could only do what The Man wanted him to do. Therefore The Man must want him to prove sentience. (If you followed that, you're too weird. -s) So we voted him sentient on the grounds that we're afraid of The Man. (You worked for The Man. -s) (SWIL didn't. -g) (But should we be afraid of you, too? -s) (Do we need her association with The Man to make us afraid of her? -d) (I think this would be a good place to insert a bit of wisdom. Man cannot live on fear alone, or something. -g) (The only thing fear has to man is man himself? -d) (It's Raining Men! Hallelujah, it's... no, maybe not. -s) (Men have been reigning for centuries. -d) ( -g) (Now see what you've done. You should treat others as you wish others to treat you (under the sea -g). -s) Adrian Dohrmann Packel V sans V He was going to do a long proof involving 2 Playstation RPGs. We thought this sounded cool, because he had hoped that the threat of proving his sentience through 2 Playstation RPGs would cause us to prefer to just vote him sentient on the spot. (Was Mark there? -d) (So we did? -s) (No. -gs) So he made it up on the spot. (Mark didn't object. -d) (1) He's willing to suffer pain for a cause. (2) He doesn't follow or oppose trends mindlessly. For the pain aspect, he devoted 3 days to playing a very slow game for over a hundred hours. In a 3 day period. (Ouch. That's gotta hurt. -s) (Then someone pointed out that putting in over a hundred hours of gameplay in a 72 hour period must involve the ability to travel through time. -d) (But that didn't make him sentient, it just gave him amazing patience, so hush. -g) He doesn't mindlessly follow trends because he likes Tactics Ogre better than Final Fantasy Tactics, which is more popular. (Oh! The horror! -s) He claimed he also somehow proved that he doesn't mindlessly oppose trends, either, but we forget how. Probably because he used Jedi Mind Tricks on us. (Hey! I didn't know you knew Huttese. -s) Then there was something about swords and platemail. Since he finally won the game, and got a good ending, he's better than Kyra's brother (who coincidentally has the same name as one of *my* brothers. hmmm... -s). Then he was voted sentient based on Jedi Mind Tricks. Or something. *** SWILBusiness, Part 2*** Monday's movie is Grave of the Fireflies (Anime) - Setsuko and Seita are brother and sister living in wartime Japan. After their father dies while fighting overseas and their mother is killed in an air raid, they must turn to other relatives for support. After that support is taken away from them as well, the two must depend on each other to somehow keep a roof over their heads and food in their stomachs. Left on their own during a time when everything is in short supply, the pair gradually succumb to hunger and the elements. *** NonSWILBusiness *** The evening shuttle is actually on a schedule now! And the morning shuttle is running! (Is your morning shuttle running? You better go catch it! -d) (That's not very wise. -g) Wisdom comes to those who wait (on the back of a big hairy man -s). MST3K is Wednesday at 7:00 in Trotter 203. This week's is episode 603 - The Dead Talk Back, with short The Selling Wizard. SWAPA collation happened. SWAPA is SWIL's APA. Or Swarthmore's, depending on the mood of the OEs. In either case, it's a bunch of cool alumni and current students writing to each other. (Pressed into a convenient portable form. -d) (Do you need 2 to 1 port? -s) There was a roundsing Monday. Jim said Sol Weber is coming in a couple of weeks. Ooooh. (Here comes the sun... No one gets my humor. -s) (I get it. It's just not funny. -g) We had an Unecessary SWILVote on Ross failing some classes vs. working his ass off. A number of voted for both. Some of us voted for neither. (I voted for neither. -s) (You weren't there. -g) (And? Your point is? -s) (On top of my head. -g) (Freak. -s) Gaming happened. Join the Fun List. Matt's cat's breath smells like cat food. (We weren't being very wise then. -g) (It's NonSWILBusiness. You don't have to be wise in NonSWILBusiness. It's, like, a rule, or something. -s) *** The Attendance List of the Working Pen -- 9/15/2001 *** Amy' "See? It works!" Marinello Robert "Silly? Me? A SWIL President being Silly?" McFarland Arcadia "waffles!" Falcone (She who uses the Waffle Iron has Wrinkle Free Waffles. -s) (Available for a short time only! Call now! Sorry, cash or credit card only, no COD. -d) (I was trying to be more... loopy. -g) (I think you're pretty loopy. -d) (No comment. -s) "I am half sick of shadows," said the Lady of Shalott BDan "The working pen must stand up for its writes!" Fairchild ( -s) (Working pens of the world, unite! Overthrow the capitalist oppressor pens! -s) (That's why all of my pens lose their caps and dry out... -d) Alexander "My knee! Ow! My knee!" Flurie Matt "Stochastic processes are boring" Fowles Nick "One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish" Ward Aongus "Were I wearing green glasses, I would be eating green eggs and ham" OMurchadha (Oooooh. That's, like, wise. -s) (Does one of you want to say that? -s) (No, not really. -d) Adam "Lord of the Fireflies" Oleksa Michael "Working Undercover" Noda (He who works undercover seeks cover under his work. -d) (That is sort of wise. -g) ([edited out parentheticals] I hate you both. -s) KT "not working, but still undercover" Randle Ross "UNcoveReD" MessiNG Jason "Cover yourself, that's indecent" Mui Josh "Ooops, guess he was expendable..." Hudner Joy "blankness" Mills Kate "Rock and/or Roll" Duffy Raoul "Cap'n Harvey an' his Underground Physicists" Bagley Rebecca "Citizen of Laputa" Paul (Are the Laputa people the short people? -g) (Oh! Like Kyla! -d) (Yeah, exactly. -g) (Then who are the people in the flying tree world? -s) (I don't think I made it to that level. -d) (In that anime movie! With the theives who rode flying bikes and turned out to be good people, and the evil general guy, and the girl with funky colored hair and... I'm describing, like, every anime movie ever made, aren't I? -s) Katie "I dwell in the state of Confusion" McAlister Kyra "Too annoying a week to come up with a quote" Jucovy MARK "I'M NOT SCREAMING, I JUST LIKE WRITING IN CAPITALS" HANDLER ~Elliot "far too easy" Reed (Not going there. -d) Rebecca "I can do CS :-)" Jones B.C. "better than you b/c I have a chauffeur" Phillips ~Sam "ha ha I stole the attendance list from Rachel S. and not only that but also I have a chauffeur too NYAH" Crane (I think that's funny. -g) Rachel "The inability to hyperextend one's knee is a minor injury the morning after Wink." Sapiro John "TV deliverer" Finkbiner (They called him The Finger-Cutter, back in my day. -s) (He didn't cut my finger! Leave it as The Concussionist! Because it's not funny, because he didn't cut my finger, he just gave me a concussion! -g) (It doesn't matter. It's not going to be funny anyway. -d) Adrian "and lo, they shall ascend to the hall of gods, where they shall engage in matches of Wink for all eternity" Packel Handspring "I *RUN* things!" Visor Prism Clie, "I beat on Visor" Sony Josh "eccentricity behooves you" Burdick Melissa "SEE ROCK CITY" Running Jim "Any messages (or cookies) for me to take to Boston next weekend?" Moskowitz benjamin 'Did I get here in time for pluttifikation' r, george Ben "I came to SWILmeeting and I brought 33 funnoodles, 3 swords, 6 pencils, 900 cable-ties, a tape-measure, a pair of pliers, a pair of wire-cutters, two rolls of duct tape, the jaws that bite, and the claws that catch" Newman *** The Queens of Heart Heart of Gold Heart of Stone Heart of Darkness *** The rest is silence (on a beach. -d) (It's not funny. -g) (Shhhh. Maybe they won't notice. -s)