For those of you joining us for the first time here in SWILNewsLand, usually we have a gripping plot full of twists, turns, and ensuing hilarity to amuse you in your reading of SWILNews. This is called a "theme". In light of today's events, we felt it more appropriate to go with a low-key SWILNews. (Plus we couldn't think of a theme.) First, SWILNews #0 (from Meeting #0): *** SWILBusiness #0 *** The frosh is more organized then Abby. (Hey, that's what it says in the notes. Blame Matt. -s) Ross is now known as Blarg. There was an Unnecessary SWILVote to that effect. (Now the notes say "Ross is pitied," but I don't remember that happening. -s) Matt has a bizarre number of hands. Namely, two. (At Meeting #0, one doesn't expect much of importance to happen, 'cause classes haven't even started yet. Can't you tell? -d) Submit to BEM! (See, we had something important. -s) There are two urns in the room, and Stone is missing her two copresidents. Hmmm.... *** NonSWILBusiness #0 *** Michael can say Stone's name. He pronounces it "Abby", though, which is sort of weird. (That would be Michael McNary, the 16-month-old progeny of Joel and Sarah. -s) (Joel and Sarah are dinosaurs. -s) (Dinosaurs are alumni. -g) (Joel and Sarah were also at meeting, just so you know that there are no 16-month-olds going to SWILMeeting unattended. -d) By Unnecessary SWILVote, we are funny. Matt got a new tray. Ross's brain has been stricken from the record. (See what I mean about not much going on? -d) (It's NonSWILBusiness. There's not supposed to be content. -s) (I'm just trying to let the people reading for the first time know that there's usually something more worth reading than this. -d) (Oh sure, build up their hopes and dreams so that they can just come crashing down next week. -s) ( -d) *** The Early Bird Gets the Attendance List -- 9/1/01 *** Abigail "'Blame Catherine + Kyla' is my new mantra" Friedman Rachel "Already prepared for school -- ten hours of sleep in two days!" Sapiro benjamin 'my quote is still in the box in the barn.' r, george Ross "Sex, ThAt's wheRe I'M A VikiNG!" MessiNG Adam "This is my first meeting--maybe it'll be historic!" Oleksa Michael "A (u Alcapulco) Golden Apple" Noda Matt "Two hands" Fowles Adrian "Fight, Megaman! For everlasting peace!" Packel Joel "1st Dinosaur on the list" McNary Sarah "Just call me a wet blanket ("blanket" appears to be crossed out here, but I'm not sure -g)" McNary Michael "Ooooh, people!" McNary Matt "Still two hands!" Fowles *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** Now, SWILNews #1 (from Meeting #1): (Do we need to put some sort of pithy little line at the end of SWILNews #0? -d) (Oops. -g) *** SWILBusiness #1 *** The rabble were anti-pathetic. There was much antipathy. No, wait, that's not right. We introduced ourselves in the usual fashion. Then we introduced ourselves the boring, serial, named-after-a-dinosaur-who-is-short way. (Rather ironic, given that the first way is shorter.) Mark's the spot. Arcadia has been made redundant. Arcadia has been made redundant. (There is humor in repetition. -s) JC was struck. Submit to BEM. (There is humor in repetition. -d) By Unnecessary SWILVote, the co-editors of BEM are now known as co-eds. (Co-Ed Naked Varsity BEM. We don't want to go there either. -s) The movie list for this semester is in! Sep 3 -- Gattaca Sep 10 -- Neverwhere Sep 17 -- The Fifth Element Sep 24 -- Grave of the Fireflies Oct 1 -- Labyrinth Oct 8 -- The Court Jester Oct 15 -- OCTOBER BREAK Oct 22 -- Killer Tomatoes Eat France! (The ! is in the title.) Oct 29 -- Solarbabies Nov 5 -- Brazil Nov 12 -- Muppets From Space Nov 19 -- Escaflowne Nov 26 -- Orlando Dec 3 -- Ghostbusters Dec 10 -- Beowulf and Wallace & Grommit Dec 17 -- Soylent Green Next week's movie is: The Fifth Element -- Action, Science fiction, Fantasy... / 1997 -- Two hundred and fifty years in the future, life as we know it is threatened by the arrival of Evil. Only the fifth element can stop the Evil from extinguishing life, as it tries to do every five thousand years. She is helped by ex-soldier, current-cab-driver, Corben Dallas, who is, in turn, helped by Prince/Arsenio clone, Ruby Rhod. Unfortunately, Evil is being assisted by Mr. Zorg, who seeks to profit from the chaos that Evil will bring, and his alien mercenaries. Live Chess was a draw. (White didn't lose! White didn't lose! -g) (There is humor in repetition. -d) Cornell has a sign pointing people "upstairs" to our "science fiction" library. Go us! The Pterodactyl Hunt is scheduled Octobor fifth or sixth. More news to come as events warrant. There will be a sword-making session after meeting this Saturday. Come one, come all! It will happen in Parlours. John won Fun Bubbles (TM). Be at meeting by noon to be eligible for your own Door Prize! *** NonSWILBusiness #1 *** (There is humor in repetition. -d) (There is my hand connecting with Darkness's head. -g) There was gaming Saturday. If you missed it, too bad. That is the last gaming we will be doing all semester! Ha ha ha ha ha! (Okay, not really. -g) Tomorrow's MST3K will be "Swamp Diamonds". Second floor of Trotter at 7:30. Join the Fun list! Send email to "majordomo @ swil.org" with the words "subscribe fun" as the body of the message (with no subject). Rebecca J is going to hang a swing in the Crum. She still needs help. She's also going to revive Anna's weekly Nature Walks. SWAPA will be collated on Saturday. Help out unless you're coming to make swords for the Hunt. Ben is going to cook four people. Yay. Er, rather, Ben is going to cook *for* people. Yay! (Humor is repetitious. -s) (That's not funny! -d) (Neither is the first way. -g) Come eat at the dinner table in the small room of Sharples (not the small room that we have meeting in, just the smallest of the three main rooms). (Well, Sharples claims that the middle room is smaller than this one, and it quite possibly is. This is the "West Dining Room". -d) (You trust the people who make you pay for Sharples food? -s) That's it. *** The Attendance List of Names + E-mail Addresses -- 9/8/01 *** Arcadia "theory-girl" Falcone Lady of "need more definition" Shalott Matt "Isn't JBulnes1 obvious?" Fowles (To whom? -g) MARK "I GUESS I DON'T HAVE A NICKNAME YET" HANDLER Jim "The silly Post Office refuses to accept barter!" Moskowitz KT "..." Randle Michael "\Kappa\Alpha\lambda\lambda\Iota\Sigma\Tau\Iota" Noda Raoul "Sitting between crazed classicists" Bagley Genevieve "President of Bagels Against Lox" de Messieres Adrian "Baa-baa-kaa~~~~~!!!" Packel Ross "MotioN to stRike J.C." MessiNG Joy "what the...?" Mills Adam "One more meeting until I can vote" Oleksa Rachel "Not suffering any negative affects due to sleep deprivation... yet." Sapiro Qian "SuicidlHolocaust" Li Rebecca "Not rupaul1" Paul Matt "I don't feel particularly creative right now" Sollenberger Lisa "Sheep!" Spitalewitz Kate "Skeletor" Duffy JC "John Ross, Knight of the Word" Ravage Nick "I am the Lorax, I speak for the trees" Ward a.k.a. Nurd (I think that's a 'u' in "Nurd".... -g) Andrew "...do these brakes actually work...?" Szafran Kyra "Just give me your hands, 'cuz you're wonderful." Jucovy benjamin 'mutual information' r, george & Callicles 'Meese don't wear leather to Rennefaire' the Moose ~Elliot "Dark Lord of the Hunt" Reed ~Sam "hiii i go to meetings hii" Crane B.C. "go, Thundercats, go!!!" BDan "Filk the night away" Fairchild Rebecca "3 years in Rock" Jones John "I'm #1 (on the back page)" Finkbiner Ben "quote...unquote" Newman *** The Queens of Heart *** Heart of Gold (Amy' Marinello) Heart of Stone (Abby Friedman) Heart of Darkness (Robert McFarland) (Do you want a pithy comment here? -g) (Yes. -s) (There is humor in--ouch! -d) (You're right, there is a lot of humor in that. -gs)