Two semesters ago,
In a galaxy right here...

Y2K -- Cloak and Dagger -- spleen -- plug thingie -- light -- cuz it
*were* us -- slightly askew universe -- rioting ... colloquium -- leaders
-- Bad-Ass Minivan of Doom -- usurped -- total control -- I had a bad
feeling about that....

As we speak,
Right here, right now...

          S   W   I   L

       N     E     W     S
       
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SWILBusiness

Submit to BEM.

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NonSWILBusiness

Oh, wait.  Other stuff did happen, we guess.  Okay.  Fine.  Back to...

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SWILBusiness

(So these aren't gooey frogs, they're stretchy frogs.  So they won't,
like, stick to the window.  <thwap>  Oh. -b)

Presidential platforms and voting happened (frog... -q).  There were two
rounds of voting, the first of which utilized butterfly(-shaped -a)
ballots.  The second utilized paper perfectly cut into sixths and printed
on very neatly (yay anal retentivity! -q).  A dark horse (er, four-legged
mammal) candidate, the square root of negative yak, came away with 42
points.  Fortunatly for all those who do not root yak (I root yak! -b),
another ticket pulled ahead with 47 points, which isn't as cool, but which
is larger than 42.

And so, your new presidents are (drumroll please -a)...

Abby ' and the other person!

"The other person" was determined to be Robert McFarland, who was elected
against his will, exactly as he had wanted.  "Abby" was determined to be
Amy' Marinello, and "'" was determinted to be Abby Friedman.  (ha ha ha,
back for another year! -q)

Inauguration will be on Friday, January 26, in Bond Hall at 10pm.  There
will be gaming and filksinging and the traditional reading of the
Unreality Warp and the second annual (it'll be a tradition! -b)
administration of the SWIL Purity Test (yes, the moment you know you've
all been waiting for! -q) (for which you've all been waiting -a).  The new
presidents will be crowned at midnight.  Give Ben $3 before Inauguration
because you're planning to come.

We sang "Dream a but Is Life" (frog! -b).

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NonSWILBusiness

None of NonSWILBusiness really applies any more.  Have good breaks, all.  
See you in January (but not for long! -a).

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The Attendance List of Max -- 12/16/00

Abigail "reindog!" Friedman  (slippers! -q)
Amy' "Min" Marinello
John "MiniMax" Finkbiner  (yay, minimax! -b)
Rebecca "Satan" Jones  (no, no, no, that has nothing to do with Max -a)
Robert "Santa" McFarland  (it's an acronym!  I mean, an anagram.  Can I
	have a blub? -b)
K.T. "..." Randle
egavar "L/NamroN" CJ*
	*-since the attendance list was going around backwards
~Elliot "~(Italy again)" Reed  (is that a Diplomacy reference or
	something? -q)  (yes -a)
Ben "Santa's Little Helper" Bagley
Kyra "I just don't think people should squeal passionately whilst time
	travelling." Jucovy  (nnmmmmm? -abq)
BDan "Sharp objects--fun!" Fairchild  (see above -abq)
Jimmy "Ah!  He stole my cache.  Help me Memory Man.  MEMORY MAN.  Saving
	the world.  One gig at a time." Kong  (frog! -a)
Jim "NOW NOTHING CAN STOP MY well, actually quite pleasant, thank you
	for asking PLAN!" Moskowitz  (you're MWA-HA-HA-HA welcome -b)
Hollis "Dingoes Ate My Baby Head" Easter
Salt "Mines" & Pepper "Still in Tadfield" Shakers
Liv "How come Hollis got to go to Australia?" Herriot  ('cause he's not a
	freshman -a)  (that's mean -q) (and it has no relevance -a)
Rachel "I slipped out to get lunch" Kaufman
Callicles the "Merry Little Christ--" Moose
	& benjamin 'it's all akkadian (sp?) to me' r, george
	& Margeret "least fixed point" the Camera
	{\tt & Daphne "end disenfranchisement of inanimate objects."
		the Typewriter}  (I didn't see a typewriter at meeting.
		Did you see a typewriter at meeting? -a)  (yes -q)
		(doot doot.  Doot doot.  Doot doot -b)
Rebecca "imum likelihood estimates" Paul =)
Rachel "I made a calzone from scratch in Sharples!" Sapiro

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And so, with their year's service finished (c'mon!  Faster!  Faster! -q)
(umm.  Umm.... -a), the three SWILPresidents decided to find their way
home.  Unfortunately, it was really dark.  (And spatio-temporal rifts are
hard to come by in this universe. -a)  They did manage to find another
galaxy, though -- Los Angeles.  (This thing started in Los Angeles; it can
end in Los Angeles! -b)

Specifically, Hollywood.  Even more specifically, the home of one george
r, lucas (no!  George Lucas doesn't live in Hollywood! -b) (yes, but
george r, lucas does -q).  There, they found their calling as movie stars
(look for them to tell their story in May 2002 -b), and left SWIL forever!  
Or for a couple of weeks at least.  Or maybe not at all.  But, you know.  
You get the idea.

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Your faithful and loyal copresidents,

Abi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Kenobi, and Queen Amydala