Welcome to Mary Lyons 4, a sprawling college dormitory 2 kilometers south of campus. It's a sunny Saturday afternoon, ten seconds after midnight, and somebody's just ordered pizza. You have hated Doctor Unlucky for as long as you can remember, and you've been secretly awaiting the perfect chance to do the old beach ball in. Maybe he kept you from writing that all-important paper. Maybe you think he's the leader of the vampires. Perhaps he's the only creature standing between you and the Alumni Slush Fund. Or maybe he closed Sharples for Homecoming. (We won! -q) (Go Garnet! -a) Whatever your reason, it's good enough to push you over the edge, and now you absolutely can't wait to pop that creepy red beach ball. And, though you don't know it, everyone else in SWIL wants to kill him too. So gather in the lounge and get cracking. Somebody's going to kill Doctor Unlucky this afternoon, and it might as well be you. :-@ SWILBusiness @-: Elliot closed the doors. (There was no Elliot. There were no doors. -b) The rabble were pathetic. You'd think they would have been more excited, what with Doctor Unlucky running around. Meeting was in ML. Doctor Unlucky was in room 22, George. People could help themselves to Amydala's carrots and cider and cups, though they probably got soda too. This was an extremely clever diversionary tactic on Amydala's part, if she may say so herself. (Guess who's typing? -a) SWILoween is this Saturday! It will be in the WRC (which does not have a line of sight to ML). Give Raoul $3-$4, or bring food. On a very related note -- SHIT! Kyla will be keeping careful of track of everybody's movements on this. SWILoween is SWIL's answer to the ML Halloween party, except we actually have fun. Lots of games will happen, including, but not limited to, Snort, Mafia (not Survivor), Truth or Dare, and The M&M Game. People often spend the night, since we have the WRC until Sunday (woohoo! -q). JimMosk proceeded to attempt to kill Doctor Unlucky with an "Anywhere else it wouldn't have been an issue" protest sign. Neither Abi-Wan nor Amydala had *any* way to stop him ( -aq), so Ben Kenobi was forced to play three points to stop him. (Uh-oh, now we've said "stop him" twice in a row, and people are going to pick on our grammar your hair is red! -q) (You noticed! -a) (Abby, what did you do to your hair? -b) (It's called dye. -a) (Exactly.... -b) Pumpkin Carolling happened on Tuesday. Yay! Keep George clean. (I don't like George being in my room. I'm supposed to have a single! -q) If you don't, Doctor Unlucky will never be able to get out to another room. (If you don't, you'll never be able to snoop through there for weapons and other cool stuff. -b) Hollis moved 2, blah-ing to the Star-Spangled Banner. On Monday, we showed Toy Story. Not Toy Story 2, or Toy Story Also. Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, has a writing credit on the original. Next week, come see Willow. No, not the one from Buffy. Submit to BEM! Yay Jim! Jim must have done something stupid and funny. The Committee to Replace the Committee to Replace Amy made an attempt on Doctor Unlucky's life by planning to bring in Susan Cooper. He was saved when someone played the "Let's go visit Lloyd Alexander!" card. Vote for books, you stupid illiterate people! Vote by Thursday midnight. A two-hour nap time is going to be added into every day, since our trial run of the addition of an hour between 2 and 2 am on Sunday worked so well. The motion passed without any opposition. Go us!!!!!!!!!!!! We're so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! On a related note, SWIL is better than the rest of campus. You would think that after being stabbed, hung, poisoned, and poked in the eye, the old Doctor would just deflate down and accept his fate. But he's got more lives than a black cat, and an uncanny knack for dodging your best traps. Stick to it. Perservere. The Doctor's luck probably won't even last through... :-@ NonSWILBusiness @-: By popular opinion, a buster is a large, inflatable, Ben-shaped thing. Ben is a large, inflatable, buster-shaped thing. (I was only trying to do my impression of Greg Ingber's blimp impression. -b) Doctor Unlucky is a large, inflatable, beach-ball-shaped thing. With feet! (He's so cute! I want to "poke him in the eye"! -a) (But he doesn't have eyes. -b) (Shh! -q) Kyla's going to have Star Trek: The Next Generation showings. More information as events warrant. There will be a roundsing after SWILmeeting Saturday. Alumni will be there, so you'll want to have killed Doctor Unlucky before then. On Friday, November 10, Kyra will show Blackadder series two, at 7 pm, in Trotter 203. Someone better be next door. If it happens, Bryn Mawr's Rocky Horror show will be on Saturday, November 11, or something. What would SWIL do with $5000 per year? -Endow a building. -Host a convention. -Fund cancer research. -Drop lime Jello on Doctor Unlucky. As midnight waned and the afternoon became evening, Public Safety found a dead piece of plastic lying around ML. (That's a big piece of plastic. -q) (Maybe we should replace it with a small piece of plastic, about this big, that can do everything it could do, only smarter, faster, and better! -ab) Nearby, there was a cast-iron skillet. Whodunnit? Well, this is their list of suspects. (What, again? -q) (The Attendace List of Weird Czech Animators was not a suspect list, it was a clue! -a) :-@ The List -- 10/28/00 @-: JC "Ford Prefect!?!?!" Ravage (No, I don't think so. -q) Barbara "The Mother" Ravage (Probably not. -a) benjamin '"Lock in place"ed and appropriately annoyed' r, george & Callicles 'hall determiner' the moose & Margaret 'antisocial' the camera {\tt & Daphne 'so how am _i_ supposed to answer the frosh question?' the typewriter} (I didn't see a typewriter at meeting. Did you see a typewriter at meeting? -a) (Yes. -bq) rewarp the pizza Jim "//t/u/r/n//w/a/l/l//t/o//p/h/l/e/g/m//" Moskowitz (Hah! Can't scratch out old quotes and sneak them by _me_! -a) ~Elliot" Warp stick //G/o/d//" Reed god BC "Awake this time" Phillips Rachel "m+ms, duct tape?" Kaufman (Duh! -q) Liv "Does JC have a problem with Ford Prefect?" Herriot BDan "Books! Books, books, books!" Fairchild (You're still a stupid illiterate person. -a) KT "my name has invisible dots" Randle (But does it have invisible dots on invisible dots, infinitely small infinitely infinitely small? -q) (Yay! -a) Kyla "rattling doors and falling leaves" Tornheim Rebecca 'two pens' Jones (One for each eye? -b) Rebecca 'two pens' Jones (One for each eye? -b) Kyra "with her long blonde hair and eyes of blue" Jucovy (No, not those eyes! -a) Jen "to heck with modern writing implements, I've got a fountain pen" Picagli (Ooooooh! Sharper! -q) Robert "one-handed wielder of the Cast Iron Skillet of Doom" McFarland (Aha! -a) (Do you think maybe he did it? -b) (No, I think he just wielded the cast-iron skillet, and somebody else did it. -a) (I think he did. Can we deflate *him* now? -q) Matt "God damn, am I sore." Fowles Ross "ZiGGy StAR DUSt" MeSSiNG Ben "Amplified Sudden Death Lime Jello Trap" Newman (Too little, too late, Ben. -a) Amy' "Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmroip" Marinello Abby "Ppppppppppppppiorm" Friedman (You people are strange. -b) JC "Jack Aubrey, Steven Maturin, and Watts" Ravage (Look, we already figured it out! No bonus points for you! -q) Barbara "I'll pass" Ravage :-@ Doctor Unlucky is a trademark of cheap SWIL games @-: Abi-Wan Kenobi, Ben Kenobi, and Queen Amydala