The "V Word" Song
                              by Robert Stockton
                   (to the tune of "A Chat With Your Mom")

          Dm            C                Bd         A (or Am)
There are peasants in Rumania with their silly superstitions
    Dm                    C                Bd               A (or Am)       
Who cross themselves each time they hear a wolf howl at the moon;
        Gm              Dm               C              Dm
Wearing seven cloves of garlic when they go to bed each evening.
          Dm                                       Gm       A
It's from them I would expect to hear of vampires, not from you.

CHORUS:
    D(m?) A       D(m?)  A
    Every time we have a chat
         D(m?)     A         D(m?)     A
    It's "vampires this" and "vampires that".
      G(m?)    A      D(m?)  A         D(m?)       A
    I know you always were inclined to be a little goulish
          D(m?)  A          D(m?)    A       D(m?)    A        D(m?)  
    But I really think that all this talk of vampires is quite foolish.

There are those who tell ghost stories as they sit beside the fire
With their dreadful tales of demons and the deadly loup-garou;
With their ghosties and their ghoulies and a host of creepy-crawlies.
It's from them I would expect to hear of vampires, not from you.

CHORUS

There's that fellow in the corner who appeared from out of nowhere
In his tasteful cape of red and black, who's creeping up on you;
Looking every inch the noble, though he seems a bit anemic.
It's from *him* I would expect to hear of vampires, not from you.

CHORUS