"The Starfleet Song" 
(to the tune of "The Jet Song" from WEST SIDE STORY)
by Ellen Edgerton      

GEORDI:   When you're in Starfleet the world's open wide               
When they give you your pips and you wear 'em with pride!               
When you leave the Academy hold your head high,               
You're an officer now, kiss your boredom goodbye!      

RIKER:    You're out there alone...               
Who knows what's gonna getcha?               
You face the unknown               
But you never let it catch ya --     

ALL:      Yes sir, you betcha!      

TROI:     When you're in Starfleet the perks can't be beat,               
Yeah the travel is fine and the holodeck's neat --     

ALL:      Yeah life in Starfleet's mighty sweet!      

WORF:     When you're in Starfleet the galaxy's yours               
If you like synthohol and don't start any wars!     

RIKER:    When you're in Starfleet, perfection's your biz --               
Mister Worf, you're a wit; little Wes, you're a whiz!      

ALL:      When they assign you               
To the best ship of 'em all               
You're one of the few               
Of many who were called --     

PICARD:   Even if you're bald!      

ALL:      If the Romulans fight you they'll fall from the skies               
'Cause you're riding a star and she's called Enterprise --               
Look out, here she comes! like a bat outta hell               
'Cause you're doing your job and you're doing it well --                
You work at it hard               
Because you always know               
That Captain Picard               
Is givin' you the go               
To make it so!                
When you're in Starfleet you know that you are               
In the best goddamn fleet that is sailing the stars --               
The best goddamn fleet that's sailing the stars!