"Klingons Don't Cry" 
                     (to the tune of "Big Girls Don't Cry")  
                             by Ellen Edgerton      

Klingons don't cry!     
Klingons don't cry!      
Klingons don't cry-y-y     
When other Klingons die     
They pry open their eye-eye-eyes     
And howl their grief to the sky      
Klingon girls aren't shy-y-y     
When they're around Klingon guys     
They show off their hairy thigh-igh-ighs     
As heavy objects go flying by (and that's no lie!)      
They don't cry, they don't weep or whine (Klingons don't)     
They won't bathe and it suits them fine (Klingons won't)     
They have honor but they'll cheat and lie, but     
Klingons don't cry!      
Klingons don't ask why-y-y     
They always shoot first (at least, they try)     
Violence gets them high-igh-igh     
That's how it is on Klinzhai!